We do not give HIV advice here but if you want to talk about anxiety, we can do that. Is this situational? Or are you often anxious? Distraction can work well when you are waiting for something to happen. What if's are the hallmark of anxiety. Your mind is too noisy right now. Get some exercise, get some fresh air, stay busy. That's my best advice. And if it is often like this with you of ruminating, what if'ing, worrying non stop, speak to your doctor about anxiety. Therapy can be pretty helpful in terms of learning how to cope as well.
You appear to have a common thing on this website, which is an HIV phobia. Given you had protected sex, you probably know the risk isn't there. Don't know why you mention the transgender part either, that has nothing to do with anything that pertains to HIV. A phobia is a fear that becomes irrational and an obsession. The best way to start trying to fix it is either to try to fix it yourself by telling yourself this is a phobia and continuing to avoid risky sex. Relaxation techniques such as meditation can relax the whole system if you find a form that suits you. If it's not possible to fix it yourself, therapy with a psychologist who specializes in anxiety treatment is a good place to start. If you have anxiety to a lot of things and it's not just HIV, therapy is essential.
Hi ,I am myself on PEP,going in for day 2,I also feel like I can't make it but I realised that we have to push through,with God we can accomplish