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ADD/ADHD Do your children out grow the lying?

My son 25 and daughter 22 both were diagnosed with ADHD when they were 6 and 8. I put them on medication when they were in elementary school, but when they hit High School they both became "crazy". Wouldn't go to school and when they did, teachers contacted me with complaints of their rude poor behavior in the classroom and with other students. My son set the science room on fire (supposedly an accident) he was permanently expelled from school his Senior Year. Had to go to night school to get Diploma which I've yet to see seven years later. My Daughter stole from department stores and was never caught. Her brother did and he was caught. She borrows money and then denys owing it to anyone. She has angered everyone in the family to the point they changed the door locks and didn't give her a new key. she lies and I think actually believes herself. She loves to "stir" the pot, cause trouble with gossip etc. She blames me (her Mother) for her pathetic life. I know I'm suppose to love her unconditionally but I'm finding it harder and harder to even be in the same room with her. Any suggestions?????
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189897 tn?1441130118
COMMUNITY LEADER
      I feel for you.   Maybe there was something more that could have been done at high school age (did your son go off his meds then?)  But the schools and doctors let you down. What state are you in - because it really sounds like you should have gotten more help?  Now that your kids are grown - its pretty much up to them to deal with this.  Which leaves you feeling very helpless.   There is a lot that adults can do if they understand what is happening to them.   This site - http://www.additudemag.com/channel/adult-add-adhd/index.html - has lots of helpful info if they will use it.  If you plug "lying" into the search box, you will see lots of posts on that subject that might answer your question.
    In terms of your daughter.  She can still be under your insurance which means she can get professional help.  She needs it.  She can improve, but blaming you for her past will not help her do that.   Maybe see if she will check out this site - http://jeffsaddmind.com/for-first-time-visitors  -  its for adults with ADD.  It will help her realize that she is not the only one dealing with problems and also gives good advice.  
    Hope this helps.  Best wishes.
189897 tn?1441130118
COMMUNITY LEADER
    Just saw this link, it might be helpful - http://www.additudemag.com/slideshow/75/slide-1.html?utm_source=eletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=July
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189897 tn?1441130118
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