I take 1.5 mg Klonopin + 50 mgs of Vyvanse. I have ADD but the Vyvanse is also prescribed for depression as I cannot take absolutely any antidepressant without incredible agitation. That started several years ago.
Here's the problem at hand, as it starts: Every time I sleep, whether day (as in nap, a rare occasion) or night, I have disturbing dreams I can't put a finger on. I'm often very sad anxious and in some type of bad situation.
THEN comes the REAL PROBLEM: I awake in absolute terror. It feels somewhat like the world and myself are coming apart at the seams. I'm frantic and feel slightly less than rational. I am pretty much completely dysfunctional for at least half an hour to two hours. The Vyvanse I take generally relieves it when it kicks in. It's as if my mind falls apart when off it. It's very drastic; like nightmare, these experiences may dissipate or, in severe cases, they essentially "bleed over into" the whole day.
I never wake up happy to face the day, excited, etc., but instead face this same terror each and every morning. If I nap in the day, I will awake with the same reaction AGAIN and, even though Vyvanse is still active, or should be, it's as if it wore off. This lessens if I sleep longer but I'm prone to very much less than normal hours of sleep. I may even sleep less the more exhausted I am.
I suspect some of this is psychological, a lot on my conscience from my alcoholic days (in recovery), plus I have never been single this long and it is not by choice...so I try to get out but am pretty isolated and often extremely lonely. All these problems don't make me feel too hopeful about meeting someone for a serious relationship, as I'd like to.
This is nothing like waking up in a bad mood. It's a full-throttle sensory attack accompanied by self-attacking thoughts and feelings, as if I'm being destroyed, losing my mind. Once it passes, aside from fearing recurrence on the worst days, I am "normal" except for my usual anxiety, mostly social. Can you tell me some possible causes and solutions? Perhaps what plagues me most is the question: Is Vyvanse relieving a false sense of going crazy, or is it creating a false sense of being "normal" while on it...which does not mean euphorically high, just keeping things in enough perspective to handle? Thank you.