That's quite a dilemma you have-- feeling that you have to chose between your sex life and living with symptoms of ADHD. This should be something that a psychiatrist will be able to manage. While some neurologists do medication management for psychiatric disorders, you will want to find a professional who does med management all the time. Someone who does med management all day, every day will be much more likely to keep up with the literature and have amassed valuable perspectives just from having seen what works for different types of patients.
Ritalin is considered to be one of the very safest psychotropic medications available, and has been used successfully since the 30s. However, as I am sure you have learned, the variety of medications available for treating symptoms of ADHD has expanded considerably. When you meet with a psychiatrist, you two should be able to have a discussion about what you like about Ritalin and what side effects are a problem. Given that erectile issues are not a common side effect of Ritalin, you may continue to find doctors who are skeptical. But skeptical or not, that should not mean that they dismiss your experience. A good psychiatrist will be willing to sit down with you and have a 'cost vs benefits' discussion about your treatment options.
Though many adults do benefit from taking stimulants, you may need to try more than one before you find a good fit. Stimulant alternatives (such as Strattera) have not been shown to be as effective for management of adult ADHD, but that does not mean that they might not give you some benefit without the same side effect profile. Finding a good medication regimen may takes some months.
Finally, since you are experiencing side effects that are not typical, it is possible that your sexual issues have some other cause. You may wish to ask your primary care physician for a physical to determine if all is well with your body. You may ask for a referral to a urologist to rule-out other possible causes. Erectile issues may also have a psychological component, and they certainly cause stress. Some psychologists have expertise in working with physicians to assist in the treatment of sexual problems. That avenue may be worth exploring as well. Finally, cognitive behavioral therapy has been shown to help some adults with ADHD to learn skills to enhance personal organization and memory. The nice thing about cognitive behavioral treatments is that they come without side effects!
Good luck to you
Disclaimer: This post was written for educational purposes only. It is not intended to substitute for face to face medical or psychological care. This pose was not intended to create a patient -clinical relationship, nor to give or rule out a diagnosis.
Try a drug combination with Vyvanse. For example, combine trileptal (label for seizures, used also for pain, inattention, etc). Also, try different stimulants. Do not be afraid to alter your medication and dosages. A skilled psychiatrist can help you find a balance that will help you with the ADHD, and not inhibit your daily enjoyment of life.
TRY to find a psychiatrist with a background in MEDICATION MANAGEMENT. Often, a psychiatric team offers a neurologist of nurse practitioner who specializes in these areas. Best of luck to you!