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Avatar universal

So we went to the psychiatry

I am at my wit's end right now and it is starting affect my mental health.  I took my son to a psychiatrist because the school keeps saying he is misbehaving, has no attn span, is aggressive toward other students.  This all started in late Nov 09.  They kept saying they think he has ADD/ADHD, etc and Ritalin was mentioned by them as a form of treatment.  It's like at school he is a totally different child.  

So we went to the psychiatrist and he said he was not ready to put him on medications, he was not sure about the ADD/ADHD and wants him to go to an occupational therapist and get evaluated for Sensory Processing disorder b/c  that often resembles ADHD.  

I get the feeling that the school is not happy with me about this choice.  But I'm not a doctor, they aren't the doctor and I can't prescribe drugs for my child.  And they can't diagnose my child either.

Has anyone else gone through this w/the school.

RIght now they have him 1:1 with someone helping him and I've gotten calls teh last two days about his behavior, not wanting to do this or that, etc.  Then yesterday ,the learning specialist said I wish you would have let me talk to the doctor before you went to see him, well, that's not possible and I don't beliee any psychiatrist is going to talk to an outsider before he even sees the patient.

I worry about what the school will do next.  I feel pressure from them as several of them mentioned Ritalin, etc.
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973741 tn?1342342773
I am wondering if you've been able to research and start any sensory activities at home to help your child?  There are many things you can start doing prior to your appointment with the occupational therapist and once occupational therapy starts, you will be doing lots and lots at home for his sensory anyway.  I hope you've started working on this yourself.  goodluck
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189897 tn?1441126518
COMMUNITY LEADER
   I remember your first posts on your sons teacher.  I felt at this time that she was at least part of the problem.  That is why I have asked you several times in my last posts if he still had the same teacher.  He needs to be in a different class!
   I am pretty sure that complaining to the school board will get you nowhere.  You need to put your energy into getting him into a different class.  
   I don't know what his IEP says.  But it is something that a teacher must follow or the teacher and the school can be sued.  Think back about what the teacher has done.  If there are things in the IEP that she has not followed.  Than you want to let the principal know that she is not following the IEP  and if she continues to disregard the IEP, you will drag them into court.  There are a lot of lawyers that like easy cases like this.  Of course you really don't want to go to court.  You want your child out of the class or worst case, for the teacher to follow the IEP..   If there is nothing in the IEP to help your child, then the IEP needs to be changed - and that time is coming up.
  Keep in touch
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Avatar universal
Thanks Dollyn.  

I was talking to the person who is taying with my son who is 1:1 now.  I am sad about how things have gone this year.  Anyway, he was telling me that his old teacher often ignored him and my son has told me this too.  Then he told me she was very short with him when she sees him in the hallway, etc.  When he sees his old class he hides.  They are trying to integrate him back into the classroom and he is very anxious about it.  He would not go in today.  I feel bad, and wonder also if this teacher has cuased my son undue anxiety. I know she has caused me anxiety.   I am very tempted to complain to the school board about her behaviour, very unprofessional.  
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Avatar universal
I would not let the School tell you how to take care of your child. Stay strong and remind them that you are the parent and that you are not just going to give your child drugs that have really bad side effects.

And when you go in to see them I would also take in paper work that shows all the bad side effects of these drugs ,that they seem to think your son should be on. Like how children and adults have died over the year's  after being on these drugs. And that some people have had strokes and seizures after being put on these medicines.And there have also been people Misdiagnosed with ADHD and ADD.

I would also start  giving your son Vitamin B6 and Omega 3-6-9 Vitamins every day .This can help him also.And doesn't have all the bad side effects.

I wish I could be there with you when you went into the School.

And remind them that they are not Doctors. And I wouldn't let them talk to your son Doctors.They have know right's to talk to him and to even ask to talk to them.

If you can print anything out to take to them,tell them to look up on line them self and they will find ,that there are other things that can be going on with a child beside ADD and ADHD.

I would even think about changing School's because he is only like this at School,Have they ever thou it could be that he doesn't like the School or the Teachers there,or that it could be the way other children treat him at School.

I would also get his blood levels checked ,and I would also get your son in to see a Neurologist and ask then to do a EEG. some people who have Seizures you can't tell they are having them,they look like they are just not wanting to do the  work or day dreaming. I would check for everything.  

read the post I put up that say's it doesn't always have to be ADD OR ADHD. It can give you some idea's of other things to look into. and there is a number you can call and they might be able to help you.

stay strong .
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Avatar universal
Thanks< I will try them. I found some things online.  He loves to do "hard work" digging, summertime will be nice when we can go to sandboxes, etc.  
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973741 tn?1342342773
Well, at this point--------  I wouldn't worry about the school and what they are saying with regards to a diagnosis of sensory.  The suggestions I've offered you are not school related but what you as a parent of a child that may have a sensory kid need to do outside of school to help his nervous system overall.  Doing these things away from school will help him function there. So I'd get started with it on your own and give it some time to make a difference.  That is what I would do.  good luck
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Avatar universal
the school keeps saying I am not sure what taking him to an OT is going to do, the learning specialist said she is already implementing sensory exercises into his day.  I don't think they know much about this diagnosis honestly.  It's frustrating.  I just want my son to have a normal school experience..
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973741 tn?1342342773
Well, he only sees the ot one hour out of the whole week.  So honestly, I implement the strategies myself and you will have to also.  The most important thing is what you do when he isn't upset.  Are you taking your boy to do physical activity after school every day?  You will have to start.  Sign him up for swim lessons at a Y.  Get him outside and run on hard pavement.  I don't know where you live but it is starting to look like spring here in the midwest.  Have him roll across the floor, move some furniture for you, help you vacuum, skip, climb, jump, swing whenever possible.  He needs this each and every day.  Build crash pad with piles of pillows and let him crash into it.  Then let him crawl through it and gently press on him.  Do as much of this "heavy work" as possible.  Tug of war, animal walks, etc.  You can go on line and look up all of these "heavy" work ideas that will help keep his nervous system regulated.  The more he has, the less likely tantrums will occur.  You will see the frequency and intensity and hopefully length of them decrease as his nervous system is better regulated through the heavy work.  By the way, do 20 minutes of these type of activities before school for a better day there.  These type of activities have an after affect of calming the system.

You can use a stress thermometer with him.  Draw one on a piece of paper.  The big ball at the bottom he can color green.  This is when he feels good, just right.  (just right is an ot term you will hear a lot).  The next section color yellow and this is whenhe is agitated and getting upset, the next section color orange and this is when he is visibly mad, upset and the last section is red and this is the full blown tantrum, meltdown.  Then talk about each color with him and what he feels like and looks like at each stage.  Then talk about what he can do as he is changing colors inside of himself.  He can use his words to express what is wrong, he can deep breath, count to 10, go to a calm down spot, etc.  (the calm down spot is big in ot ).  The goal is for him to recognize the escalation within himself and to stop it.  You will help him in the begining.  
Also talking about his body/brain as an engine is helpful.  Your son's engine is probably like my boys, running too high most of the time.  The engine runs too high (this is when they are bouncing around, unable to sit, over excited, agitated, upset, etc.), then there is just right (the goal) and then there is too slow (when they lay on floor like a blob, or low energy).  The goal is just right and when the engine is too high, you have to do "heavy work" to slow it back down. There are lots of things that can help.  Your ot will give you strategies for school too.

Hope this helps.
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Avatar universal
HOw does the OT help the child deal with these issues and calm themselves down?  My son is like that, he just loses total control over his body.
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973741 tn?1342342773
The thing about sensory is it often doesn't seem like it makes sense and it can come out of nowhere.  My son would flip out if his hands got wet. I mean like FLIP OUT.  And if he was going somewhere in which he'd knew it was going to be hard . . . he would start to deregulate . . . which means his nervous system would start to overload and he would be in this state of heightened agitation.  It was much easier to set him off then.  I could see on his face by the expression that this was the situation.  That was when we instituted the stress thermometer-----  green is just right, but the next step up the thermometer was yellow . . . when he was agitated and he could easily go up the thermometer of stress to a full meltdown unless it was recognized and his nervous system got some input before hand.  That is what sensory looks like in my boy.  Don't know if that helps.  But yes,  fine one minute and a mess the next was common for my boy.  
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Avatar universal
thanks for talking to me. This morning with babysitter it was like he was fine then he was flipping out.  I don't knwo what is wrong.  does this sound like sensory???  I am just wating to hear from the school he is having a bad day.  I will read more and educate myself more..  
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973741 tn?1342342773
One thing that I think is really helpful is to take a team approach with the school.  If you are willing to listen to what they say and try to work with them while also protecting your child, you will have a much better chance at success.  I would pursue the ot evaluation as your psychiatrist suggested and go from there.  (in my previous post on this thread------  I wasn't clear--------  I would contact the *school* occupational therapist and tell them about the doctor's appt----  I would do that now).  I'd still read everything you can and honestly, you can start some sensory strategies at home.  I certainly would.  I'd be doing the sensory games every day with him before and after school.  If you need ideas------  I can give you some.  But you don't have to wait until April 20th to get going on it.  (if he doesn't turn out to have sensory, it won't hurt him in any way and he will have fun . . .)

But the bottom line------  I think if a parent is trying to help but firm about the direction they are taking-------  they have a much better outcome than either being mad at the school and uncooperative or just letting the school run everything.  You will make things much better for your son that way.  Plus, the school does have some good insight to share as well--------  they see a multitude of children and types of children.  If your son does turn out to have adhd and time will tell with that, you can address that then.  I think medication is a last step and something that is to be decided by a parent and a doctor (not a school, society, or a public forum . . . you have to do what is best for YOUR child).  But I will tell you that I read everything I can about sensory, add/adhd, autism, pervasive delays, ODD, etc. to get ideas of things to do with my child.  The more I know and the more ideas I have, the better.  We used "story books" which are used with autistic children to teach our child certain things that pertain to a classroom for example.  I just made some myself after ordering one on ebay.  

Anyway, I know you are searching for true help for your son and I hope that the next phase will help.  Like I said, dont' wait until April 20th to start-----  start on it now.  PS:  your private ot can talk back and forth with the school.  If he/she has ideas that might help at school after they get to know your child, they can talk to the teacher, counselor, other ot or whomever after you sign a release.  Everyone is part of the team then.  good luck
Helpful - 0
757137 tn?1347196453
Yes, I have been subjected to the same pressure. I told them to take a flying leap. My daughter is now an adult and is just fine. There was never anything wrong with her. She was merely very energetic and quite mischievous. I call that a personality trait, not an illness.

It is not the school's business to diagnose. It should stick to the three R's, although that might not be as much fun as playing doctor.
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973741 tn?1342342773
Reiterating here as I did in the other forum, sensory is kind of a newer diagnosis and many do not realize that a child actually has sensory vs. adhd as the symptoms can look similar.  My son's sensory issues are controlled through is occupational therapy and the things we do at home to address it.

I think that you really do have to remain strong here.  I would not tolerate a school official saying my child needed medication (when he is 5, especially).  Being honest here.  That is not appropriate nor is an attitude about what direction your  health care provider is going in terms of a diagnosis.  I would still contact the occupational therapist and tell him/her of the doctor's appt and what they are thinking and see if they can start working with your son.  

I've not had any issues on the school level so far.  I probably will at some point.  But I always try to give the vibe that I as in me as in I am this child's parent and know him better than anyone and I will do what is best for him whether it is popular or not.  I've swallowed my pride many times in this journey--------  but I will do what I have to do to help my child.  I have felt the same as you---------  like every day was a new issue and everyone was looking at my kid negatively and me as well---------  it is painful, no doubt.  But pull your shoulders up and think of that little boy when he is with you and how wonderful he is and don't let them get you down.  

Someone close to me said once when things were bad--------  they don't own you.  You can call your own shots.  Those were very empowering words.  I give those same words to you now.  good luck
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Avatar universal
I understand where you are coming from,my son Teacher pushed us into given my son drugs .and they have bad side effects . My son has Seizures and now even on Medicine he still is having Seizures.

Try giving him Vitamin B6 and Omega 3-6-9 Vitamins in the morning before he goes to School.They don't have all the bad side effects that the drugs they give these children.

I sent you a message .

The School can not make you give your son any drugs,they need to do there job and if they wanted to be a Doctor then they should go back to School and be a Doctor .I would hate for them to be one thou.

I wouldn't let them talk to any of my kids Doctor they have no right to ask ,

stay Strong .  

I am here if you need to talk.
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Avatar universal
We have filled out forms before. I basically just told him the symptoms that he was having at school and gave them the typed of behavioral report that had listed the symptoms.  I am just so worried about my school. I don't know how much longer the school will be pateint, I feel like they want immediate answers and him on meds.  They have suggested meds, I never knew they had to pay for them and they are not doctors so they should not be diagnosing children with mental disorders. I know ADHD is the most common one they see.  

Yes he is on an IEP and has been on one since age three for speech delays, did not talk until after age 3.  

I feel terrible.  and it's terrible to keep getting phone calls all the time, esp at work. I laid down but felt like I could not relax.  

I have an appt on April 2oth with the OT.  It was the earliest I could get the appt made. Apparently, there is a big wait list at some other locations until July.

We have filled out ADHD questionaires and I told him that and the one for school was "suggestive" for adhd, the one for home was "normal".
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189897 tn?1441126518
COMMUNITY LEADER
   Its great that you got to see a psyc and he didn't jump at the ADHD lable.  Try to get in and see the occupational therapist as soon as possible.
   What you are going through with the school is (unfortunatley) kind of normal - especially when they probably are not used to dealing with Sensory Processing.  They are just going by what they normally do or what normally works with most kids.  Do keep them informed about what is going on.
   Did the psyc hand out any questionaires for the teachers and you to answer?  that is the standard practice for diagnosing ADHD.
  Refresh my memory - is he on a 504 or a IEP.?  
  Is he still stuck in that same classroom he started the year in?

   You are going through all the right steps.  Keep marching along!
Also in our district, we were always told never to mention any medications because if the school suggests it, they gotta pay for it (not that you want the meds).
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