stressed

[atthezoo]

my son is 13yrs, he was diagnosed with adhd and tourettes about 18 months ago.  It was like a revelation, he was prescrebed concerta, we went to parenting courses, he went to counselling, everything changed for the better, he is doing exceedingly well at school, most of the compulsive behavour has stopped, and his ability to express himself and maintain relationships improved dramatically.  He has now been discharged from child mental health services.

But all of a sudden he has started stealing on a daily basis.  He then lies about it to the extreme.  He takes things from us ie: money, food etc....  Also pens, art supplies from school.  We are at our wits end.  We want him to suceed at school (wich he is) but if he keeps stealing it won't make much difference to the outcome of his life.  Does anyone have any advice, some real practicle ways to deal with this?  And do I need to take him back to child mental health services.

[Sandman2]

   If he is doing well in school, that would indicate that the meds are working - which should cut down on any spontaneous actions.  The other child well could be (at least) part of the problem.  I would try and make sure that he is not in a class with him next year.  If possible reduce his time with him after school.  Its very difficult to tell a child not to associate with a friend and that would be a last resort.
   Don't get worked up about the lying.  That's gonna happen.  What you need to deal with is the stealing and that should have consequences.  He needs to think twice before he does that. Here again assuming the meds are working and he is not spontaneously (no filters) doing it.    Don't make the consequence so severe that you have nothing left if he does it again.  Of course, one consequence could be not seeing his friend for a week.  Let your son know that if this keeps up, his chances of being with this friend will become nil.  So he and this friend have to make a choice.  Good luck!

[atthezoo]

Thanks for that, sometimes when your in it you can't see the forest for the trees.  He is hanging out with a boy who I know is a bad influence and I suspect is stealing things and distributing them to younger children.
I have talked to his teachers and he seems to be doing really well in both school work and behaviour in the class room.
Most of the things he steals are things he likes eg:special pens, treat food etc.. but some of it is very random and he has no use for.
I am taking him back to my GP to get a referal back through to Child Mental Health Services, so we can check the dose of medication he is on and hopefully get some help for the stealing, and denial of it.
It would be geat to get back to where we were last year with him.

Thanks for you help

[Sandman2]

      It almost sounds like his meds are not working as well and he has lost the ability to filter - in otherwords he is back to spontaneous behavior.  Talk with his teachers and see if his test grades have recently slipped.  Look at his tests and see if he does better in the morning then the after noon.  Does the stealing tend to happen at any particular part of the day (afternoon vs morning).  What you are looking for is an indication that the meds are wearing off.  Its not unusual (especially after a growth spurt) for them to be not as effective.  I would assume he is on an extended release medication?  I suppose its also possible he might have been skipping some doses.
   Other things to think about?  Does he have any friends who are engaging in the same behavior.  Kids of this age are often led or follow other kids who are involved in similar activities.  What is his peer group like.
    Then of course, you want to examine any possible reasons for stealing the particular items.  What does the money go for.  Does he use the pens and art supplies - or is it just an impulse/grab thing since they are available.  Same thing might go for the money and food.  If the need is not there, then that would indicate an impulsive act.
    Hope this helps.  Please post if you have other questions or if any of this proves true, it might help me with other parents.  These are things I have noticed over the years of posting here.  Best wishes.