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clean but not working on recovery

I am starting my 46(h day clean today. Each day has been a miracle. I go to lots & lots of meetings. I sit & I listen. Every once in a great while I'll share. Usually pretty short & always about how I'm doing. I hate sharing. I'm horrible with words and I get very very nervous. I don't know much about the steps to working my recovery because I don't have a sponsor to guide me.
Can I start working steps on my own? If so where would I find a so call "guide line" as HOW TO actually work them,,,on paper?
I am just barely holding on to my clean time. Taking it day by day. So far so good..!ut what about the healing process?
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222369 tn?1274474635
You can always start doing step work. But, there are specific steps that pretty much require a sponsor (4th step for example). You know, I'm a lot like you. My self esteem issues seem to make the the last to get there and the first to leave. But, I've made a point to get there early and make friends. Trust me, everyone there knows exactly what you're going through. So, here's my suggestion...but a Step Working Guide. You can buy them from NA's website, but there's always someone at meetings that sells literature. Find that person at the next meeting, buy the Step Guide", and just say casually to the person selling them that you need someone to help you with the steps and ask if they had any suggestions. Trust me, people LOVE to be asked to be sponsors. It boosts our egos. If they have time they will say yes, but some may have other sponsees or be busy. Don't take a no personally. Just go do it! Your recovery depends on it!!! What you're doing now is called "white knuckling" it. It can be done for a while...but, the miracle happens within the steps.
Helpful - 0
401095 tn?1351391770
Sounds like u have a plan...and agree it is hard to work the steps alone...IN NA I found sponsors are scarce.///in AA they r easier to find and they r the same steps...alcohol is a substance and substance abuse is substance abuse//many alcoholics are also drug abusers as well...anyway...find a place u r at peace at///not every meeting is the same and i found a group in AAwhere i fit in
found out after 1 1/2 yrs clean from hydro how easy it is to slip into another substance like alcohol////stress hit and alcohol called my name as it was so available..being a good gil i had cut off all my narcotic conections..but alcohol can get u into trouble faster than narcotics can if u abuse it..we r all different
Helpful - 0
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