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ADHD behavior issues and frustrations-child is 10

One of my children just turned 10 and is in the 5th grade. He was diagnosed with ADHD and put on meds at 7. He has calmed down in class when on the meds, but it is by no means perfect. He does well with academics but his behavior is not always great. He is fine at home and very kind, normal boy behavior-active, enthusiastic and impulsive.   However, at school he annoys his teachers and some of the girls in his class by interrupting and arguing when he doesn't want to do something.  We have not had this problem with his classroom teachers in the past, primarily because they seemed to know how to remain an authority figure and were confident in their decisions. This year, his teacher is passive and within about 10 minutes my son appeared to lack respect for his teacher. Ironically he likes her and tells us he does respect her. I spoke to his Dr., who is an ADHD specialist and he said this is very normal for children that have this condition at this age. He receives no help for his ADHD at school and is not coded, primarily because the school feels because he does so well academically he doesn't need the help. The issue is, he is in trouble every single day and this is getting to him. We have tried to work with him on learning that his own behavior is causing him to get into trouble, but although he understands this intellectually, he is not able to apply changes in his own behavior. This is very frustrating for everyone. This child has a lot of friends and besides being bossy and overbearing, he is still well liked. I guess boys at this age are all somewhat like this, so it doesn't seem to cause any major social setbacks, but shy or quiet kids cant deal with it. I would say that this child is always the center of attention for something-talking out, interrupting, telling jokes, being the smartest kid in his class. I really need to find a way to help him and the school will not help-they just say he is a brat that needs to be punished more. I wish it were that easy!  Do you know any programs that help to train children to not interrupt? It is not socially acceptable and arguing with adults or kids for that matter gets him into a ton of trouble. HELP!
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Hello nhmom38, so your son sounds just like my 12yr old but opposite of when he acts out. Instead of bothering girls at school, he loves aggravating his two younger sisters!! I'd say though in your case, the teacher for one needs not be a push over, which sounds like that's the case ? Otherwise your son wouldn't feel so comfortable acting up, disrupting others, etc if he didn't feel the power to do so, and possibly the teacher just has no experience in dealing with a.d.h.d.and has always  been a laid back, whatever kind of attitude teacher and instead of admitting this, he is just blaming your child, lack of discipline , etc... And as you know, the more a child feels that "power" ESP with adhd, the less control they start having over their actions! Botrom line, it's the SCHOOLS RESPONSIBILITY to gain control and a plan to maintain it! He's on medication, from what I've gathered,so it should definitely help with the right guidance , he's NOT without meds, I'd have to say the problem is within he school  , and so being you have NO control over his actions in school, you have taken your Steps, which one MAIN thing is having him properly diagnosed, and medicated when a child is showing behavior problems , it's the steps parents take and you've done a few yrs prior. So, don't allow them to put the blame of their lack of competance!
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189897 tn?1441126518
Dang, I just finished a really long post to you and this site lost it.  So I apologize in advance.  This is going to be a lot shorter.
   First, in terms of programs, good question.  All studies show that a just medication is not as effective as medication and training.  Its usually done by a psychologist and its not cheap.   You might look into a series of books called the emotional impact series that is aimed at this age group.  You can read about them here - http://www.amazon.com/Dont-Rant-Rave-Wednesdays-Anger-Control/dp/0933849540/ref=pd_sim_b_1
    Second, I was a 5th grade teacher for 12 years - so have a fair amount of experience.   My first thought is how much of this is related to age, medication, or the teacher.
    He is young for his grade level.  Might be interesting to see how many boys in the class are younger then him.  Add to that the fact that a child with ADHD is typically 2-3 years behind other kids in social maturity.  However, sharp kids usually pretty quickly figure out what they can and cannot do.  In an elementary school classroom, peer pressure is fairly high to conform.  So is something getting in the way of that?  
     When was the last time his meds were changed?  All meds have an effective time of duration.  Is there a certain time of the day when he has the most problems?  In other words is he good in the morning and not so good after lunch?
   by the way, a good high protein breakfast will make his meds more effective.  No OJ, that makes them less effective.  A good nights sleep is very important.
   And, when you say, he had no problems in prior years - one does began to suspect that the teacher might be part of the problem.   Does the teacher know he has ADHD?   What sets your son off with the teacher?  Oh, does he have the same teacher all day - or do they switch off for some subjects?
   And, yes, while working with your son is important - working with the teacher is just as important.  It may be the teacher has no clue how to work with ADHD kids.   This is a link to a site that has many ways to work with teachers.  http://www.additudemag.com/search/google.html?match_words=teacher&x=0&y=0
     If I knew more specifically of what he was doing I could be of more help.   And if you can answer some of the questions I asked, it would help me help you.
    Oh, and finally, somewhere down the line you will need to start thinking about Middle school (I spent a lot of years there too).  Getting a 504 might be a good idea and it might be easier to start the process in elementary school.   Hope this helps.
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