Ah, I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was very young, about six I think. I took Ritalin until about Middle School. In elementary school, I was routinely teased, mistreated by teachers and students. THe principal even called me retarded to my mother's face after -evaluating me for an hour!!!- when she took me to apply for kindergarten. Heh. I am so far form retarded I hesitate to mention it. I am, however, easiily upset by other people's reactions... as well as my own. In elemntary school, while I was on Ritalin... I would lick my lips till they bled I got so upset anious, nervous, etc. I hated going to school... I wanted to die before I realised there was a word for it. THe teasing never stopped till I got out of high school.I was slighted by teachers, maligned my fellow students... It upset me so badly, I wanted nothing more than to get out of school. My parents told me I could drop out of high school with a GED, but I was so scared of failure that I decided to stay and finish. I ended up graduating early. I have had only one job, and I still live with my parents.I don't feel safe staying around groups of people for longer than an hour or I begin to get histerical and think I won't ever get home again. -canyou say, safety zone?- trouble is, my home doesn't always feel safe to me emotionally... my family is somewhat dysfunctional... my parents' parents on both sides had major issues, such as drugs, drinking, abuse, rape.. you name it they probably did it. But my parents came out relatively undamaged. I say relatively, because they both had bad lives too. But they never took drugs or drank, or committed crimes against anyone. I have been living with depression for so long, I don;t know what it's like not to be. One of the only times I truly rejoicved was when I realise d it had a name, that THAt was what I was feeling. Somebody please help me understand if I have Asperger's or one of these other htings along with my ADHD. I despereately need some help in understanding myself. I am 26, female, Libra. I live with my parents. I like to write fanfiction, esp. Doctor WHo fanfic, and at that job I had, my first nad so far only job, I would get so iupset in the mornings when one of my parents would drive me to work, and at night when they would take me home, that it took everythihng I had not to cry. And sometiems I didn;t make it. I almost went hysterical three times in that damn store. And some of the girls there were dangerously psychotic. I can always feel when something is off. My senses are highly attuned in terms of whichever brain mechanism that happens to be. I did my job damn good for someone who rarely goes out of the house. Please help me. Sorry for the typos; I type too slow for my brain. Um... there was something else I needed to say... what ws it... AH! Oh yes. THe other thing/s... I humbly apologize for my rampant babbling, but as I am on my period, I am even more moody than normal, and twice as depressed. I tried telling my parents about it at first, but they just yelled at me and told me that theyt need the money for the bills, to try and scare me out of it. Of course that made it a billion times worse, JUST like I tought it would. Funny how psychic powers and/or mere observation come in handy, yes? I am super self-sensitive... I trained my brain to do certain things... and I think far too much, so I am deeply aware of things in terms of social discrepancy and sickness and the strangeness of the world. I have never felt completely comfortable around other people... it's like they see something in me that frightens them, or makes them nervous. WHat is it they see? I can't see it. My parents get it sort of now, but sometimes they say things that truly make me doubt that. one minute my mother is saying how seh needs to get me to the psychiatrist, the next I've done soemthing wrong and she's saying why don't yopu get a job and move out. Then later she says seh didn;t really mean it, that she was just saying that. Dad does that sort of too, but he;s a leo, os he just yells becuase he stil thinks I'm a ******* 5 year old. HE just yells and yells once he get going. Mom's a capricorn. But dad, geez. He's a good man, but he needs to take soem anger management classes. And that's another thing. I get so angry. I don;t know why. I heard that that is a symptom of ADHD. God I really need a doctor I think. Somebody.. anybodxy! Waht do you guys think? I am NOt a big baby. I want to understand this and make it better, but I have no friends outside of online... Please help.