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does my son have ADHD??

My 4 year old son is causing alot of problems in the family home because of his constant bad behaviour. From the moment he wakes up in the morning till last thing at night he is non stop naughty! He shouts when he talks, fidgety all the time and cant sit still, if nothing goes his way all hell breaks loose which means he screams the house down, screams obbusive comments to me, his dad and his younger sister and tries to smash his room up when he is sent there. He is also very obsessive when it comes to doing certain things such as breakfast time. His breakfast and his drink must be served and the exact same time and his drink must be put on the right hand side of his breakfast otherwise he kicks off and refuses to eat it. I took him to his nanna's the other dsy and he kicked off there as in screaming, throwing himself accross the floor and booting her livingroom door in because i put his gravy on the wrong side of his plate. He cant be good for more than 10 mins. It's as if he realises he is being good and quickly does something or says something to get himself into trouble. He has been last this constantly for the past 2 years and its getting to the stage where im scared to take him anywhere because of his temper! He is amazing in school though. His teachers never have a bad word to say about him except how clever he is and how amazed they are at how much information he knows about certain things. Im going out of my mind with this. Are these the symptoms of a kid with actual behaviour problems or not? Please help =)
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757137 tn?1347196453
He is only a problem at home. What does that suggest to you? In any case bad behavior is not synonymous with ADHD. You may think a pill will solve your problems, but it will probably add more. The junk they give these poor kids is a form of speed. And they become addicted. Get some good advice on how to provide structure for your child, for his own sake, and so that you can enjoy the precious years of his youth.
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Avatar universal
The food placement sounds like OCD. his behaviour sounds like he is competing with his sister and he feels unnoticed. He is still too young to voice those kind of emotions especially if he is already getting the reaction from you that he wants. He sounds like a normal kid who just wants your attention and ANY ATTENTION is GOOD attention.

About his meal times, change it up. Ask him to help you set his plate up. Ask him to show you how he likes it and insist he SHOWS you. If he is happy to help, encourage the help and reward him for his help and good behaviour and ignore his bad behaviour. If he refuses to show you, then pretend your unable to set it up and act silly, children all want to help. Do what it takes to get him involved during his meal times.

Remeber it will be a working progress.... two steps forward and one back, etc. However,  when he does cross the line assure him he has to be "grounded" however one thing that really worked for me that might not work for you but it's worth a try.... is when you go to discipline him give him two choices. option a) or option b) both that are suitable for a time out but have him choose. If he truly feels bad for his actions he will pick the harder of the two punishments. But  if he is confused to why he is being disciplined he will choose the less of the two punishments. You can take the punishments away after if you feel you got out of hand but then explain to him that people make mistakes and you were just mad.  One of my sayings I use is "No matter what you do, no matter how mad I get, I will always love you, no matter what happens" Kids need to understand that their emotions are not what gets them into trouble, it's how they act when they are upset.

Second, when dealing with your 4 year old son, and his little sister try to be sure to speak to him alone. Maybe he acts out due to the embarrassment of being told "no or stop" in front  of  family. My son and I have hand signs that are just between himself, my husband and I and when my son gets cranky, I let him know discreetly. It has its benefits and usually works fast but you need to be consistent, try giving him the silent had signs daily and let him give you the hand signs as well. Not only does it makes him feel good that  you both have a special hand sign but he also will make the talks a lot more tolerable.  Actions speak louder than words.  Good luck...
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Avatar universal
Do they have alot of structure at his pre-school? It sounds like he does best with having his days planned out. If you write a list and keep to a schedule I have a feeling that will help. He sounds like he gets anxious when he goes out of his comfort zone and he has no way of expressing his frustrations with new places. So when he's at school he knows whats expected of him and he relaxes. You sound like a great mom who wants her son to be happy :) Good luck!
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189897 tn?1441126518
COMMUNITY LEADER
   Its not normal behavior.  But what is causing it, or if he is causing it to get his way is difficult to tell.  Just being curious, is his younger sister about two? This could be attention getting behavior.   But even then, the obsession with placement foods is abnormal.  Kind of wondered if it could be sensory integration disorder, but that would be more consistent.
   Anyway, you might want to check out the book, "SOS Help for Parents," by Lynn Clark.  Its got a great behavioral modification method.
   How long is he at his preschool?  And do they really not see any of these behaviors?
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Avatar universal
thank you. i have been to scared to see the doctor about this incase it was just normal behaviour
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Avatar universal
it is possible he has adhd you can get him checked he could also have a aggressive disorder or a defiant disorder
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