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Avatar universal

patience ?

My fiancé and i have been together for 2years and he has adhd and add . We get into quarrels about it all the time . I was wondering are there any methods to deal with my patience towards him . And how do i make him just calm down . He gets wound up and in a rush a lot and can never pay attention to something more than 10 min . The most time he spends on
Something is a videogame .
Any advice ?
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189897 tn?1441126518
COMMUNITY LEADER
   Just remembered this site.  It has lots of practical advice.
           http://www.additudemag.com/topic/adult-add-adhd/friends-relationships.html
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Avatar universal
Thank you . And he does hard labor at work and most of the time he's drained he just has spurts of energy when he's home out of nowhere . And by minor case of bipolar i mean he's not flipping every 5 min . He usually does it 3-4 times a week . I've never been around any body with any disorders before soo this is pretty new to me lol but i am very accepting of what he's going through .
Helpful - 0
189897 tn?1441126518
COMMUNITY LEADER
   I doubt that you can have a minor case of bipolar. However, the anxiety and frustration of ADHD can certainly make you act like that sometimes.
   Mj will help calm him - its called self medicating - and might be better then booze.  If he could get into exercise - strenuous exercise - he would also find that very helpful.
    What will help you the most is to understand what AD/HD is and how it effects people.  Actually, that will help him a lot too.
    I suggest that you check out the following site.  Its for adults and I think that both of you will find it very helpful.  He does not have to be a slave to AD/
HD.  He can manipulate it, just as it manipulates him.  This site will be helpful.  Check out the videos as a starting point.  The site is
           http://jeffsaddmind.com/for-first-time-visitors
   Please let me know if you need any more info.  I have tons.  Good luck.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You pretty much hit the nail on the head . He gets upset a lot that i don't get him . Im not used to being around a person like this so i tend to forget a lot and treat him as normal . It also doesn't help that he's got a minor case of being bipolar . I just have to find things that interests him . Movies dont capture him unless they're action or mystery or sci fi's . He's just an odd ball . But i love him for it . Its just hard to handle at times cause he'll get really hyper at times when its not appropriate i guess ? And he takes no medication for any of these . The only time he seems to b totally calm is when using marijuana . Does that help the problem ?
Helpful - 0
539549 tn?1315981662
find stuff that does captivate his interests if the list is short try getting him into something new. Man are very simplistic sometimes and do not often think about deeper stuff when it comes to everyday life. oh and don't use his disability or whatever you deem it to be as a crutch just a forewarning as telling other people may really upset him or getting angry about it. I remember having a relationship with a guy for about a year while I was in school and he was a gamer he used to get so angry when I forgot things that I stopped wanting to hangout. try to focus on quality not quantity he may see your arguments as a flaw as much as you see his ADD. so remember choose your battles wisely as sometimes men will feel they cannot confide n a woman if she is not strong enough to handle ther honesty and may feel guilt or even shame unknowng of how to really express this to their girl. Also lastly remind him you accept him and don't say something like I accept you despite you flaws comment when something is large enough for others to notice but do so politely and privately as when others did this with me I said I was  not always aware of such and such in certain scenarios ect but did appreciate the information.
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