Avatar universal

Abusive Mother and StepDad

Well, I'm actually eleven. And I need some advice because my best friend is going through alot. (Mental, Verbal & Physical Abuse) I have tried various things to help her and her family. Her Dad, (the other parent who isnt abusive and is trying to get full custody) He tr ... [More] eats me like I'm his own child. And the Mother, Is just a lifeless zombie. But the mother also has a new husband, and he is basically telling her what to say to my friend and just influencing the mother even more. Today is halloween. A few days ago, My friend and I went to a halloween store and picked out a costume and EVERYTHING. We spent over 100$ on each costume, which the dad happily had payed, he said it was a gift to us because he just loved us. When I went to school, My friend wasnt there. We immediatley knew what was going on. Her mother and her stepdad had kept her home on her father's visitation, so that her father couldn't get her. When her father went to their house, Her mother and her stepdad were holding my friend against her will, and they said they would not let her go, until the father signed a paper saying that THEY could have her for halloween. Police and everything had showed up. But nothing had happened. And yet, today is halloween, and I have to spend it without my best friend.
Her father has just a bout taken us everywhere. Busch Gardens, Universal, Sea World- A lot of places. And everytime we all had fun. He also takes us fourwheeling almost every weekend. He's a very generous man. I never really had a father. My father left me when I was three. And her father made me feel like I had a father again. He was nice, funny, infact hilairious.
My friend however, when her parents got divorced when she was seven, she completely just fell apart. I've known her for four years, since the fourth grade. She never really could trust me at first to tell me what was going on at her mother's house. But in the mid-fifth grade, she opened up everything.
Her mom beats her and her sister. Her sister is 15, and yet she still has to lay on her mom's knee and get her rear smacked. Her mom also slaps them. Right across the face. When my friend was younger, her mother used a paddle. But it's not just physical,
its also verbal.
Her mother, growing up, was also abused. So now, I completely understand why she would do such things. (Besides that she is just a sick woman.)
Her new husband is pretty lifeless too. He never at all smiles. Even the first time I went over there, he never greeted or smiled at me and my mother. But this man is worse. He's got some muscle, but he has a scar running down his face. Which makes him look even more like a tough person. But, rumors' going around saying that he had lit my friend's puppy on fire with gasoline. How could someone be so cold-hearted? To light a PUPPY on fire? I wasn't surprised to hear such a thing like this. But there are things worse he could do to my friend. Thats why I want her out of that house. Before she could get hurt. Right now, she's in danger. Her step dad has called her multiple things. Little *****-Piece of ****- worthless-stupid-retarted-etc. And it has really been bothering my friend. She has very low self esteem already, and as if she needed this to happen...
I have risked my life so many times for her. Her mom and her step dad are very addicted to prescription pills. Methadone, Oxxycotton, Oxycodone. So, my friend told me where they hid them. While they were in their room, I snuck out in the kitchen, and looked through their cabinets. They had maybe over 20 empty pill bottles that were all prescribed maybe about a week before. And they were all gone, already.
The step dad always shakes his leg, vigourously. And her mother sleeps 24/7. And I just feel like this is even more of a threat to my friend's life. It's not a good environment at all.
Dayna (the mother) and Jack (the step dad) called me a spy, and that they applauded me for my great acting. That, right there, is a hint of immatureness. They also said they wanted to brainwash my friend, have they gone crazy? They have already been to court, maybe twice in the past two months. There is one coming up Wednesday November 2nd. I just need some advice. What can I tell my friend? (I've already told her not to be afraid to stand up to them) What should I do about Dayna and Jack? Should I go to court, and testify?
6 Responses
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535822 tn?1443976780
I am so sorry and reading all you have put here I have to say that I think you do need to ask someone for help to deal with this situation, sounds like you will get that help going through the court, yes I do think your friend should stand up for herself and tell the truth, about what is happening to her, I think you mean Wednesday the 3rd  ,Tuesday is the 2nd ...if you have to testify yes you should do to help them and also because you are telling the truth which is always the best way to go.The situation seems very complicated my feelings are you need to be away from them and in a safe enviroment ,good luck .
Helpful - 0
1457315 tn?1288459746
Throw yourselves with all your heart and sole to anyone who will listen in court.  Yes go and testify.  The judge will listen.  Do not give up now.  This is where it counts.  "Please help" "She is not safe"  She has to stand up for herself in court and have enough self esteem to find her voice.  STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART!  NO lies.  The judge and anyone else listening will know its the truth when you tell it.  Just do not make a mistake and exaggerate. (I think you sound honest).  People are becoming more aware of these situations with mommy and step-dads.  All people have to do is watch "Nancy Grace" and thats all you hear is mommy and step-dad didn't do their job.  Tell her that she needs to call 911 when he starts to become abusive.  The more people you get involved the sooner this will end.  Don't give up.  You STAND UP!    NO FEAR!  
Helpful - 0
1291553 tn?1272429452
You should testify but also take pictures when they're not around. Take pictures of the drugs and your friend's bruises. It is always better to have physical evidence. Have your friend hide a tape recorder only if she can safely and record every time her parents say or do something to hurt her.
And if she still continues to get hurt just stay by her side and keep fighthing. She's lucky to have a friend like you.
Helpful - 0
757137 tn?1347196453
I do not think this is wise advice, and you might be putting Cayla0500 in harm's way. What Cayla9599 should do is tell her parents. This a matter for adults, not pre-teen sleuths.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I think you need to alert your parents to the situation and let them pick up what and when and where to turn next. As a teen you are only getting part of the situation, these things tend to be complicated beyond words and should be handled by the adults involved.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
God, I thought I had it bad growing up. I ofter wondered why my relatives never came to my rescue they knew the pain I was in at the hands of my parents. Does the father realize what is going on? Tell him everything (with your parents) that is going on. He can not just stand by. Tell the school officials. This just breaks my heart. I know abuse. You are the best friend.
Helpful - 0
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