Is he abusing me?

[melissa94]

Hi all,

I would appreciare any opinios as it's the first time I've reached out to anyone about my situation.
My husband is Arabic and was what I thought to be very open minded. He has always been a little controlling however since I was a little wayward I didn't mind too much. We have been married for 4 years altho together for 7. He never really speaks nicely to me anymore, nor to out 2 year old son. He either adores him or ignores him. He never spends any time with us at all, hasn't been home for more than an hour in the past 3 weeks, he hits him sometimes in dicipline- but a few times smacked him too hard or too many times. For me, He checks my phone for calls and messages, takes my ipad to check history, doesn't let me drive, not allowed to go anywhere without him, not allowed to talk to men, has to have access to my e-mail account, not allowed to have a facebook account, he frequently loses his temper and screams, swears and calls me names, throws things at me, pushes me over, has choked me twice, held me tight enough to leave marks, punched me in the side of the face, locked me in the baby's nursery with the baby until I gave him my ATM code number. Took my money for the rent and spent half of it on a new laptop. Am I being abused? If so, is it bad enough to leave him?

Thnak you

[cheshchesh819]

you cant delete these posts mind,so be careful,but if you ever want me too write to your family for you i will.

[melissa94]

Thank you, appreciate it, have to be careful tho as he regularly checks my e-mails and backs up my computer to check delted history etc. taking a risk osting here already.

[cheshchesh819]

i am from the uk,and i agree it is awful what their beliefs are,if you want to talk anytime private message me,anytime and if there is anything i can do to try and help i will.

[melissa94]

Originally from UK. This place is unbelievable when it comes to ex-pat and women's rights. we dont have any.

[cheshchesh819]

You are far from being dramatic,i hate the way some countries allow this and think that it is ok as long as you are married to the person,it is wrong very wrong,where were you from orginally?

[melissa94]

No, tried the consulate and the embassy- since my baby was born here he is technically a citizen of this countrry- they can't interfere in their affairs. I was asking because I seem to have it in my head to get out one way or another then I think i'm being dramatic and it's not as bad as all that, thought an outside opinion would be best.

[cheshchesh819]

This is terrible is there not a way you can contact your family for help

[melissa94]

The reason I am still here is because as I am living in the Middle East in my husbands home country- I can' leave the country without his permission- I have no money to go anywhere- can't file a police report as since my husband is a local, they take his side, and muslim versus non muslim parents- custody invariably goes to the father and even if they give me custody i still need permission to take my kid on vacation. Additionally I work in his family business so ifI go and complain about him, i've lost my job, my home, my money, my sponsorship and most likely my child.
That is why I am still here.

[cheshchesh819]

YES YES YES this is abuse,both to you and your child,is this enough to leave him,why are you still there get out before he really does do you and your child some serious damage,noone should have to put up with this,go to your nearest police station and explain to them what has been going on and they will help you find a sade place to stay,please dont delay this as things will only get worse,he is a thug bully,child and wife beater get out.