Often when I'm reminded of my abuse I push it to the back of my head. I dont allow myself to think about it because I know that I'll break down. Did you all find it helpful to let it all out? By that I dont mean talking to a therapist, I mean letting myself remember every detail or talking to my mom about what happened. I guess that's my biggest issue, talking to my mom. She's still married to her husband after he sexually abused me and I dont know how to deal with it. I've been told not to tell my family what he did, and I havent, so they all still treat him kindly. I hate that. I cant blame them though because they dont know. I just dont want to make my mom look bad. She really isnt a bad person but its no secret her and I never had a good relationship. I feel like she doesnt love me, how could she? I cant help but think that when you hold your first child in your arms you think "Im going to protect her" but my mom didnt do that with me. She wasnt there to defend me, she picked his side. How do I cope? Should I leave it in the past, forgive, and move on? Or should I let it all out and stop hiding my pain?