Regardless of state jurisdiction, the act of touching a minor child (14 and under) on or about the genitals or by performing an act of intimacy defined as kissing, touching, stimulation, and sexual experimentation of any type by an adult or teen older than 14 (excluding sexual battery and torture) is a felony of the second degree without aggravating circumstances. With aggravated molestation the charge of kidnapping or false imprisonment may be found to apply and is a 1st degree felony.
The activity you describe and the individual profile of the offender speaks of long term sexual abuse on them and most likely by a parent or adult relative, neighbor, other. The child should first be interviewed by police as a "contaminated relationship" can make police disregard your complaint and see the child as coached. Police first and then allow them to take the lead in prosecution. Alone, you appear to have no influence over the offender and he knows this. The offender also knows how to "gaslight" you to the police and they in fact want this, it leaves him explaining all the lies and unwanted answers he will provide. Should he "lawyer up" don't worry, a sex offender is the 4th most investigated type of criminal in the U.S. and I speak from experience, 'we' use so many tactics and techniques to allow a child predator to do what they do once under the gun and that is try to convince everyone they are innocent. It is a self fed diet of failure and I exploit it each time I charge an offender.
Now go fight for your child,
Detective Sergeant Arthur D. Davis Criminal investigator - Crimes Against Children Division Colorado USA
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You NEED to report this. There are not many absolutes in life, but reporting a crime committed against a child is one of them. This is why teachers and therapists are MANDATED to report abuse of any kind if they have reasonable suspicion. Your SON telling you these things would unequivocally qualify! And like someone else already noted: your son told you because he trusts you. He depends on you. If you do nothing, this will seriously damage your relationship with him. His father, by HIS OWN ACTIONS, has already done this. Your son can't afford to have the only other parent he has abandon him. Whatever happens to his father, THAT is on HIM. You can help your son to heal and adjust. But you must take action.
PLEASE do whatever it takes to stop further unsupervised visitation. Your son will not forgive you if you don't. now that you know what's happening.
Simply put if you don't report this and it is true you will have helped your child be molested. I know that's not what you want so pick up the phone now!
This IS molestation. Your son needs to be in contact with a therapist to deal with this obvious case of grooming for further molestation. (which is what penis touching and nibbling on the ear is all about). You haven't mentioned how old your son is, and how long this has been going on. before your son spoke up, which might be helpful. Also, you've mentioned restraining orders, but haven't said what action on you exes part happened to get the order. Should your son have been included in the restraining order? You need help from Child Welfare and the Police at this point. Sorry this is so hard. Thanks for reaching out here for your son. Keep it up and get the right thing done. Be very careful who you have come into your son's life. It is very important that you provide him with the right male role model in the future. Be very aware that the next male in his life is safe, and has many many traits that will help him to become the best man he can. In other words, you chose his dad and you obviously mad e a mistake, Dont' make the same mistake going forward. If you had a childhood that did not equip you to find the right man (which is why i married my abusive first husband) deal with what was lacking in your childhood, and move forward with a therapist to talk to about questionable attributes in anyone you're dating, to be sure you're not wasting your time or your son's on anyone that doesn't measure up. There may be plenty of things to love about the wrong guy, but only one trait that can seriously derail your life and your son's. Be very careful moving forward. A child may be abused by a father figure, but they'll forever blame their mother if their mother allows it to happen. Please let us know how you're moving forward with this. All the best to you. We're here to talk on the forum or by private message. You might needs some friends to help you get to the end of this chapter. You can make lot's of friends here.
Yes this is molestation. You need to protect your child. Of course the father would deny it because it's wrong and he knows it! Your son told you because he is seeking help and protection. He is uncomfortable and has tried to stop it by covering himself but probably feels helpless and scared of what will happen next visit. Please don't NOT do anything.
This is molestation and you need to do what you can to protect him. Your son has better judgement than his father.
I don't know how the law will apply for you so I suggest talking to child welfare authorities and social services about this for guidance.
Blackmail is illegal so you have to be careful how you approach the father when you lay down the law or he will manipulate the story and possibly get you in a trouble too. I would avoid all contact with him until you get the right advice.