Aa
Please help! (abusive, cheating bd)I'm desperate for advice
So my boyfriend and I have known each other for 6 years & been together for a year and a half. Since we've been officially dating he's really done nothing but hurt me and I know it's my fault that I stay and put myself thru it but he's literally a psycho! He cheated on me twice that I knew about and confronted him and I catch him talking to or texting other girls all the time but every time I try to leave he goes nuts! Says he can't live without me, brings our unborn child into it, threatens to stalk me, attempts to hold me hostage til I change my mind about leaving, he will even get violent and try to hold me down or choke me when I'm not giving in to staying with him so normally I just do bc I am scared. We just got into a bad fight bc I found out more of his dirty secrets. I'm bruised up, scratched up, a blood vessel popped in my eye and he even hit my stomach. I had to beg and plead and cause a scene nearly getting the police involved just for him to take me home. I'm safe now and he's at work, but I really want to talk to his mom to see if she can just get him to leave me alone. I've gotten really close with his family but Idk if that is the right thing to do. I just know he will try to make me look like the bad person and he will try to play the victim when all I'm trying to do is protect myself and my son.
Also, PLEASE consider getting a restraining order so that he has to jump through some hoops to see his child. If after you are out, (or he is) with a protective order, and his parent's still want to know you, with the new rules and supporting you (with your order) then consider befriending them. But this guys needs the order, he needs anger management and he needs parenting classes. If he can do this to you, he'll do it to your child. I'd make sure that he had a couple o f years under his butt, clean and sober, before he made my child his family. You chose this man, and well, that was unfortunate. But you have a responsibility to try to force him to get help so he can be of value to your child's life. and the protection order, and anger management is as good a start as any. Let him know he has to act right or he'll never see his child. I would even consider moving states until he proved himself with a lawyer (meaning a job) and the gumption to stay focused to get through family court. Good luck to you.It won't be easy, but what is the alternative? Being a bad mother?
Oh my this is just to horrible! baby girl you need to leave him, if he threatens you that he will stalk you or that he will keep you captured until you change your mind, you need to report him, it's not healthy to be pregnant and being abused at the same time, its not just your life in danger its also your babies life in danger. This man one day can loose control of his anger and kill you and your baby. Baby girl it's time to leave him or report him because he will threaten you every single time you say you are going to leave, next time he tries to touch you or hurt you, call 911. because you already have bruised and scratches, what's next? you tell me. Im telling you its not going to end well for you or your kids. Report him baby girl for your safety and kids safety. I know its hard to walk away, but you need to stand up for yourself and say No more i'm not taking this anymore, and grab your bags and leave.
You are in a dangerous place. You should find safety and get a restraining order. I pray you leave. But please don't tell him you are leaving because that only make you in more danger. Leave while he's at work.
I was in a relationship like that once I till this day hate myself for staying and not leaving sooner every part of me hates his guts and reading your post reminded me of a man I was engaged to marry once! I say get the hell out while he's at work and if you feel threatened call the cops immediately put a restraining order on that son of a b. The longer you stay the worse you will feel get out now!
I'm so sorry for what you are going through. It sounds like my "X"! Mine did the same thing to me prior and during my pregnancy. My unborn child saved my life by giving me the motivation and strength to leave! My daughter is 18 years old now and her bio father was an X- FACTOR her entire life despite his threats when I was pregnant that he would take her from me.
I wasn't the first girlfriend that he abused and I wasn't the last. After I left him, he moved on and married a woman that he abused and went to jail for it several times. Some men just don't stop abusing woman.
I understand what it's like to be so mentally, emotionally, and physically abused that you are actually brainwashed into thinking that there is something you can do to make him stop as if it's something that you are doing wrong. The physical abuse can almost become addictive to the victim as a release because you feel that you deserve to be punished. The physical abuse also evokes the fear that makes you think that you can never get away.
YOU HAVE TO ESCAPE THIS ABUSE! YOUR LIFE AS WELL AS YOUR CHILDS LIFE DEPENDS ON IT!!!! I know it's not an easy process. DONT TELL HIM YOURE LEAVING! Plan your escape, find an apartment, someone you trust that you can stay with for awhile and LEAVE! DONT CONTACT HIM, OR HIS FAMILY AND FRIENDS. REPORT THE ABUSE TO THE POLICE AND CONTACT YOUR LOCAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE WOMANS SHELTER FOR HELP! They can act as an advocate for you, support you through this difficult transition, and guide you in the right direction.
God be with you. I wish the best that life can offer for both you and your child. I hope that you CHOOSE to have peace in your life.
I wasn't the first girlfriend that he abused and I wasn't the last. After I left him, he moved on and married a woman that he abused and went to jail for it several times. Some men just don't stop abusing woman.
I understand what it's like to be so mentally, emotionally, and physically abused that you are actually brainwashed into thinking that there is something you can do to make him stop as if it's something that you are doing wrong. The physical abuse can almost become addictive to the victim as a release because you feel that you deserve to be punished. The physical abuse also evokes the fear that makes you think that you can never get away.
YOU HAVE TO ESCAPE THIS ABUSE! YOUR LIFE AS WELL AS YOUR CHILDS LIFE DEPENDS ON IT!!!! I know it's not an easy process. DONT TELL HIM YOURE LEAVING! Plan your escape, find an apartment, someone you trust that you can stay with for awhile and LEAVE! DONT CONTACT HIM, OR HIS FAMILY AND FRIENDS. REPORT THE ABUSE TO THE POLICE AND CONTACT YOUR LOCAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE WOMANS SHELTER FOR HELP! They can act as an advocate for you, support you through this difficult transition, and guide you in the right direction.
God be with you. I wish the best that life can offer for both you and your child. I hope that you CHOOSE to have peace in your life.
You are enabling him by being there or by not charging him and getting a protective order. You made a mistake picking this man to father your child.and you need to recognize this so that it doesn't happen again. Your time should be spent with your child, and getting loans to pay for college (if you haven't gone already) so that you can support this child to the best of your abilities. Get that in order, and karma will reward you with an ideal step father. If you dally , and drag your heels, you will only be stealing time from your child and his step father from bonding. You have to see the big picture. Take responsibility for your part. Don't repeat a mistake. Learn from them and they will not be in vain. There's plenty of fabulous older women that can support you in your times of need. I hope you stick around and continue to reach out and use the support. It's an incredible advancement from when i was in your position. God bless you.
why are you even worried about telling his family??? they are going to stick up for their son regardless.
you need to make a break from him and his family.
do you have your own family you could go to??? preferably a relative out of state that he does NOT know about.
you need to NEVER contact him. no matter what. even when the baby is born. he is NOT a good father and you know that because not only is he hurting you while pregnant, he HIT YOU IN THE STOMACH. the only reason to do that is to try and kill the baby.
you are playing with fire. you will get burned.
you need to walk into your local police department and ask for help. they have programs there for domestic violence victims and will protect you.
a restraining order is not going to stop him from hurting you. won't hurt to file one, but don't get a false sense of security by having it. if he is hellbent on hurting you, he will.
he will NEVER change. NEVER. it will get worse. he is the kind that will hurt your baby just to hurt you.
you need to make a break from him and his family.
do you have your own family you could go to??? preferably a relative out of state that he does NOT know about.
you need to NEVER contact him. no matter what. even when the baby is born. he is NOT a good father and you know that because not only is he hurting you while pregnant, he HIT YOU IN THE STOMACH. the only reason to do that is to try and kill the baby.
you are playing with fire. you will get burned.
you need to walk into your local police department and ask for help. they have programs there for domestic violence victims and will protect you.
a restraining order is not going to stop him from hurting you. won't hurt to file one, but don't get a false sense of security by having it. if he is hellbent on hurting you, he will.
he will NEVER change. NEVER. it will get worse. he is the kind that will hurt your baby just to hurt you.
You need to leave and call the police. The only way he's gonna learn is if you press charges. I know it's hard but it had to be done. And he can't get full custody if he hits to jail and has abuse on his record. You have to do what's best. Leave while he's at work.
If he tells her anything before I do. He even said he would try to get full custody if I left him and sue me for half of my income tax money bc half is his anyway(Which I know is not true) & I know he can't take my son from me
That's what I don't want is for him to hurt my baby. I've been so stupid to take him back all these times he just thinks hurting me and cheating on me is okay or something. He may even have another baby on the way and his mom knows nothing about all the horrible stuff he does to me, I just had a feeling she may still choose to stand by her son as if he's right bc he will make me look like a total witch to his whole family
Listen girl. You need to walk away and never look back. It's one of the hardest things to do but you need to. I was in a relationship even worst than that. I've been hit I've been stabbed I was emotionally broken he used to tell me the same stuff that he couldn't live without me he'd threaten to kill me and my kids and then commit suicide it was horrible. I was lost. He broke me down mentally calling me fat and ugly and saying no one would ever want me. He'd say ever guy beats his girl. You need to stand up walk away and don't ever go back because I promise you it only gets worse. I hate to see any girl in that situation because I know how hard it is. As for him hitting you in the stomach while pregnant mine used to do the same you should go get a restraining order against him. **** talking to his family
I've been trying to get rid of him for the past 6 months of our relationship. I got the police involved before but he just ended up going to jail for a different reason so I never pressed charges . He just got out and NOTHING has changed about him and I know it probably never will so if he actually does stalk me and not leave me alone I'm going to get a restraining order for sure.
No. I had to do it with my boyfriend. He wasnt as abusive but when we would fight he'd push me, and sometimes hit me but never my stomach. Once i talked to his parents he straightened up. We do fight alot now.. but in the back of his head he keeps in mind that he has a son in the making and he doesnt put onw hand on me.
Call the police, tell your doctor, tell his mom, do whatever you have to do to get out before he hurts that baby
Yea, if he hit your stomach now.. imagine what he is capable of later. He could of hurt his own child. You do need to get out of this relationship. Happy mommy= happy baby.
So you don't think it will be wrong for me to talk to his mom and tell her what's been going on?
Omg this is a dangerous relationship u need to get out before baby is born he could do a lot worse than just hit u hun u need to get the guards involved
You should really talk to his mom if that doesnt work.. maybe a restraining order. Take care of yourself. Youre not alone.
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