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4603572 tn?1384726949

What do you think happened?

A while ago, an old family friend contacted me. Everything was all good until he told me he did something to me as a child. Every week, I receive hints from him, he's refusing to tell me what happened, because he fears that it'll ruin our relationship.

The hints I have received so far are:
-some people like to be used
-most do, since they're lonely
-i came and went
-stars were shining bright that day
-you saw darkness that day
-blood rush
-the difference between both worlds is fascinating
-the main organ was doing its thing, but very very fast
-babydoll
-the dark night turned bright as day
-it was hot
-and then he entered the dangerous dungeon but the beasts were not moving
-red
-the two colorful mountains collided
-bats also known as baby vampires
-rose
-find or fail
-dry yet soft
-a shadowless shape stares at the beasts
-the shadowless beast cast a magic spell on one of the beasts
-8 words can make the hint easier, four of them can solve it

I don't remember a thing, but I figured out three things: I was at his house (I used to be best friends with his sister), it was night and one of our hearts was beating fast. He confirmed those things too, but nothing else.
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4603572 tn?1384726949
If it was sexually abuse, it definitely wasn't the only one, I was sexually harassed many times by my dad, and almost molested.

I'm sorry that happened to your sister and mother, I wish them all the best in the future, even if they might not be able to forget these events, I hope they'll recover from them, because nobody deserves that.

I'm not even sure if it was sexual abuse that that friend has done. All I'm getting are those little bits and pieces that might or might not be true. Another problem I have is, during my time in therapy and so on, he has been a major support to me, and still is, regardless of what he did. My therapist has no clue what might've happened, but she's hinting more towards sexual abuse, just like everyone I've mentioned this to.

If there's anything new going on, I'll let all of you know, but I'm torn between shutting him off of my life, and keeping him as a friend. Thank you again!
Helpful - 0
973741 tn?1342342773
Well, I think I've said about all I can say.  I think it is probably part of some issues that you have that you won't step up and cease contact with someone 'teasing' you with details of possibly hurting you.  that you call him a friend is very odd.  In truth, I'm not sure what you were seeking from this post.  Take this great friend of yours for his word.  he molested you.  Then go have lunch or something I guess.  it's just odd to me but this is your life.  perhaps your therapist will be able to guide you better as I'm not sure any of us are really registering with you.   peace
Helpful - 0
4603572 tn?1384726949
I don't know why I do that either. I don't have much "control" over myself these days. I still thank you for your help. I'm a very forgiving person, I guess that's a negative trait of mine.

I was actually trying to find different opinions with this post, I didn't want to think of one thing that might be the answer to whatever happened, I guess there is nothing else but sexual abuse.
Helpful - 0
973741 tn?1342342773
Well, listen.  Regardless if it was sexual abuse or he pushed you down on the jungle gym and you got a scraped knee, he's acting weird and elusive like he did something bad to you but wont tell you.  that's just weird.   Maybe he didn't do anything to you and he just is messing with you because he has a screw loose?  What if he did indeed molest you because he himself was molested by someone (which is the common cycle of kid on kid molestation)?  There are lots of possibilities but none of them add up to anyone I'd want to be close to.  What does he say when you point blank ask him what the heck he's trying to get at?  I mean, I'd confront him.  

What does your therapist say about this?
Helpful - 0
4603572 tn?1384726949
Well, I tried to confront him again today, all he did was come up with random facts to change the subject. When I asked him why he's trying to avoid the subject, he didn't answer, he just kept on sending me those random facts. Once I changed the subject, he stopped and engaged in what we were talking about.

My therapist's assumption heads more towards sexual abuse. To her and you all, the guy sounds like an immature man who's trying to toy around with me by sending me hints that may or may not be true. I have a problem with ignoring a problem for a while, but then making myself think constantly about it in order to come up with a solution (which has never occurred), I'm working on that with my therapist, but at the moment I can't just "leave" him.

Helpful - 0
480448 tn?1426948538
Wow!  How disturbing!

This man is feeding you snippets of info most likely related a horrid act he committed against you as a child, as if he was dangling diamonds in front of you or something.  That's sick beyond words.

My advice to you is to take copies of ALL the communication you've had with him and contact the authorities ASAP.  Not sure if they can criminally pursue him (I think they can when it comes to child abuse/molestation), but in the least you can get a PFA which you absolutely need to do, like yesterday.

Think of how sick it is that if he molested you (at SIX or SEVEN) that he's still romanticizing the events as though he's talking about two consenting adults.  That's seriously messed up, he's a sick sick man and likely still abusing children.  The authorities need to be made of aware of him right away.

If it were me, I'd try to get every little piece of info out of him I could, including if he's done this (or is doing this) to any other children.  I wouldn't advise taking this into your hands more than a one time last ditch effort to gather info, but I think the more CLEAR info you can collect from him, the better chance something will be done when you contact the authorities.  

I would text (or email) him so there's a record and tell him that unless he gives you CLEAR and DIRECT answers to all of your questions, you will not speak to him again, that you're done with the games.  I'd be willing to bet that may coerce him to spill the beans.  You get one shot to ask very important questions, including if he has done this to anyone else.  After that, go to the police.

This is nothing to mess around with, he sounds like a sick predator, and law enforcement needs to be made aware.  Continue on with your therapy, you need to sort through all of these emotions as they relate to him.

Best of luck.
Helpful - 0
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