Why do I even care anymore?

[breakingapart]

In my journal I told you all how my dad has called me worthless. It still has been bothering me then, and it still is now. Why do I even care? In all honesty, i despise the guy. I really do. I could care less if he died (I know, that's harsh. But he's been treating me like **** my whole life and always had to make me work for his love and attention whereas my brother and sister always got it for free. How can I not despise him? And to top it off, he's probably not even my real dad, so why care?)

Why do I care that he called me worthless? Why? He's called me worthless before, and it never affected me this bad.. But then again, all of those other times he said it as a 'joke'. I don't even know why, but its hurting me a lot. And bam! I feel like the chick being described in the Maroon 5 song 'Won't Go Home Without You'. Wow, I'm pathetic..

[margypops]

I am sorry that happened to you how is your life now have you gone on and been okay after that treatment?

[awy6ebony]

my father hits me and says ur a ****ing retard and my mother died when i was 9 so if i wer u try 2 go out and have fun with ur friends, that always gets my mind off things, or do something u injoy doing

[margypops]

What you do is you prove him wrong by making a good life doing well at school/college he doesnt matter...you do

[guessagain]

It doesn't matter how it's meant, it's one of those messages that carries a very sharp edge. I'm familiar with how sensitive a person becomes, you can become so hurt with just being treated different than your brother and sister, sometimes it doesn't even take words. Believe in yourself, stop by and speak with your school counselor, or if there is another adult, a friends mother you can confide in. If you attend church, maybe you can speak with your minister. You need some support close by.  

You are not worthless. I'm very sorry your having a hard time.  

[Angelinthemorning]

You're not worthless and you're not pathetic.  Living in a home with an abuser is a very tough thing.  I've been there.  And yes your "father" is an abuser.  He's putting you through alot of emotional abuse, which I personally think can be the worse.  
You've got to start living for you.  Start focusing on yourself and ignore anyone who just feeds you negativity.  He has a problem and obvisiously his taking it out on you.  Why?  Who knows but, you don't deserve it at all!!  See, if you can find someone to talk with...a counselor, doctor, or even a trusted friend.

[margypops]

How do you feel about your self do you think hes right?I dont think he is you dont sound worth less to me you seems like a bright intelligent girl, whose having a hard time. Hve you ever asked him why he has said that has there been any talk between you, what does your Mom say when he repeats this abusive stuff to you? Yes you would be hurt that is normal, but understand it isnt you its him with the problem..

[ILADVOCATE]

You should care. Its emotional abuse. You can speak to someone about it as we had potentially suggested. But whatever you do don't believe for a moment it is true.