mental abuse

[phillips14]

So my boyfriend is mentally abusive towards me. He puts me down all the timeand blames for anything that goes wrong. I'm 35 wks pregnant and I've been so depressed througout my whole pregnancy that I may think something is wrong with the baby.  My family doesn't like him at all and my mom wants me to come stay with her but I feel so trapped because I don't want to have to depend on my mom to take care of me and the baby. My man has his own place and works and provides for me. We have been broke here lately and he talked me into pawning our title to my car and now I have to depend on him to pay for it and if I leave him he won't pay for it and I will lose my car. Idk what to do. I just want to be happy again and he makes me feel so miserable and insecure :( someone plz help me with advice abd do you think I should tell my baby doctor I've been depressed? ?

[Nighthawk61]

I just want you to look at what you've said here that is contradictory.
My man has his own place and works and provides for me.
We have been broke here lately.

Also, you've mentioned that you are depressed. Do you think that this depression is 100% caused by your boyfriend's attitude , or do you think that you may be depressed yourself, and maybe overly sensitive.

The thing is, even it this is about your hormones going nuts, and your boyfriend needing a wake up call as to how to treated a depressed pregnant women, there's no harm in you walking away for a while or forever. If this man doesn't treat YOU right, maybe it's because you two are not a good match.
But to cut him off from the baby because you two are not a good match.?
Does that sound right to you?
Did you grow up with a dad? The reason I ask is this. If you did not have a close relationship with a dad of your own, you might not know how important it is for a child to have a good relationship with their dad. Out of sight out of mind.

This guy might be a pric k BUT does that warrant him not being part of his baby's life?

I MOST DEFINITELY AGREE TO ALWAYS TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR WHENEVER THERE IS ANY VERBAL OR EMOTIONAL OR PHYSICAL ABUSE SO THAT IT'S ON RECORD.

As it stands with what you've said here, your boyfriend doesn't treat you very nice, and as you are depressed, it might be the right thing to do to spend some time back home with your mom, IF that residence isn't responsible for problems.

Can you talk about what kind of a father he might be? Does he come from a good home? Does he have close relationships with people? Does he have good long term friends (that are not all about drinking).  The thing is, that a child will always always miss their biological parent and will blame you someday if you took him out of their life, for no good reason. (and you and he not getting along, or making it IS NOT GOOD REASON).

If you move on from this man, and live and let live, he going his way, and finding another partner, and you finding yours, You won't have any problem  any more because it won't hurt and it won't matter if you and he didn't get together as a couple. Everybody will be with whom they should and your baby will have both their Mommy and their Daddy. And some pretty swift Step Parent's no doubt. THINK before you pull the plug on the dad. You don't have to like him .or he you. Can you talk about this ?

[Jinx_777]

I would confide in your doctor.  it will also be some form of documentation of the abuse.
soon after the baby gets here file for sole custody and if it were me, the baby would not have his name on the birth certificate and it would have my last name.
i would move in with my mom asap.  as a mom, i can tell you with certainty that i would be glad to have my daughter and grandchild safe with me.  money would not be an option.
if you lose your car, so be it.  lesson learned.  don't ever do anything like that again.  talk to the loan place and see about making the payments

this should be a happy time for you.  don't let anyone steal your joy.  this will be the happiest experience ever.  your hormones are running wild too and if you breastfeed that will help you emotionally as well as be good for baby

[Nighthawk61]

I agree that you should move in with mom. Maybe she will be able to provide babysitting while you go to school, and then work (if that is what you need to do) Find something you really want to do for a living, and you will enjoy your life so much more. Don't be overly concerned about you being dependent on your mom. Most mom's are hardwired to  want to help and be of service to their children, whatever their needs.

Please learn by your mistakes. Choosing this man to the your baby daddy was ill conceived. It will be uncomfortable, to be sure and it's not something that you want to do again. Maybe talk to a therapist about your choice of a mate, and tell them you want to make sure you don't ever make that mistake again. You can't afford to. You need to attract a really good man, willing to help raise another man's baby with positive energy. That can be done, so don't settle for anything else going forward. Make friends with people that can mentor you and help you to make better choices. I wish the best and sure hope you keep us up to date on what's going on in your world. Congratulations on the baby

[margypops]

Think of the future ..it is not good for a child to hear his/her Mom being abused ..thank of the child ..and go

[phillips14]

Thank u so much!

[Life360_Dave]

Hi and sorry what your gong through.To break this cycle i would suggest as your mom says to move in with her. Youll feel better about yourself and it might be a wake up call for him. Loosing the car is better than loosing you individualality. After the baby is born you could find work and become indepentant. Look at this as starting over.