Do you have a mom you can ask to bring you to this appointment? Have you told her about the rape?
Here's a link to a video. I typed in What happens drinking a pap smear video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8HvHqp_hQic
I was Raped & never had a pap smear but need to.. Really frightened.. What to expect.. please help
I think you'd have to ask a doctor about this. Sorry that you were sexually abused. I hope that you've gotten to talk to a therapist about that. It could help a great deal. Keep in touch. We're here to talk on the forum or privately, anyone that you are following that you want their help.
Liz