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I need advice after leaving drug addicted alcoholic fiance

I will try to be brief. I lived with fiance for 3 years and had two children from previous marriage. Both of them do not want me with fiance and only one of them lived with us. He is 19. He was subjected to his drunken drama. My fiance and I have an almost 3 year old. He was a binge alcoholic and very mean and violent when drunk about every two weeks. He was also doing alot of cocaine and smoking marijuana. Early on when intended he stop drinking, he would lie and even drink alot of Nyquil as a replacement. Long story short...ended up in rehab due to his parents becoming involved. This made it worse when he got out. He lost his job, house, vehicles. He was drunk and shot a gun off of our porch and I finally took my 19 year old and 3 year old and left. I have been gone now for 5 months. We still talk and I take our daughter to visit him once a week. He wants us to come back and is doing better for now. There is no money for cocaine but he does it when he has extra. He still drinks. He doesn't know I know this. Terrified to let him get visitation with baby and he has not had her alone without me present. We were not married so I have not legally ask for child support or anything else. He would have to prove paternity in ga to get rights. I still love him and our daughter adores him. How do you know if someone has changed? He says he drinks now some because he is lonely and we are not there. He did go to jail for two nights with the gun incident. His family has disowned him and he has no-one. He was in multimillion dollar business with father when all of this happened and they have disowned him.
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1235186 tn?1656987798
Hello & welcome.  Are you considering moving back in with him?
You asked how you can tell if someone has changed.
If he has the money he still does cocaine. You know he is still drinking. He also uses the excuse of being lonely and misses you to drink.

I would not trust him with my child alone either.
It doesn't sound like he is doing anything different than he had been when you were with him.

Doesn't seem like he's making much of an effort to stop his addict behavior. Counseling , support groups, AA, NA, church,
He will need help when he wants to finally stop using. He needs  to take responsibility and not blame or use someone else as his excuse to use or drink.

I would suggest you get to a support group for yourself.
Al-anon is  a support group for the loved  ones  of addicts.
Let us know how you are doing.
Debbie
Helpful - 0

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