Avatar universal

I'm afraid I'm going to lose husband with these pills. Help.

Husband was injured on the job, he lifts daily and pulled his back out. Reported it to boss, took 2 days off and back to work still in pain. Been off work for almost two weeks now due to back. Found out Friday workers comp denied, boss lied said was not reported( I have proof it was, so they re opened the case and looking into it as we speak) reason I'm explaining this is because it put a lot of stress on him, he's used to providing and extremely upset his boss he trusted lied.  
I made him a dr appt and an X-ray was done and ordered MRI. We could not wait for referral for MRI because he has been up at for two nights in pain.
I took him  to ER, where MRI indicated herniated and Bulging disc among a lot of long words wrong with his lower back. First visit sent home with a neuro surgeon referral and Vicodin. Back to hospital 2 days later Vicodin not working another MRI, showed same thing. Sent home with Percocet 10 mg and valium, for three days. Primary care called in more Percocet and changed his muscle relaxer to Ativan. Still in pain, he started drinking after being sober for over a year. He was admitted on the third ER visit due to taking 5 -10 mg Percocet, flexeril and valium at the same time and the pain not being managed at home. Again waiting to see specialist and this time given oxycodone 10 mg, and flexeril.
My concerns are he's stressed and in pain and I know he's abusing his pain meds. He's never been a pill popper nor one that goes to the doctor ever. His pain is real. He started to drink and I notice the pain gets worse when he drinks ( I don't understand )and he takes pills without thinking. I try to watch him but I can't on every move. Last night he took 3 oxy 10 mg after drinking a few shots and pain not gone, took valium and a flexeril and went to bed, gets into bed and an hour later he's in pain and wakes me up whiled closing the drawer where the percs are and takes 2 Percocet 10 mg after taking what I mentioned above. I told him let's go to ER again and he won't. But I'm not sure if he's on a suicide mission or trying to take pain away. He loved his job and is in shock with who he thought was the best boss lies, he got a little depressed. I could see it. While I work with fighting with workers comp,I feel I have to watch him. He won't let me do the hold my pills thing nor but he does admit he's taking more than he should because he's tired of the pain. I have already sat him down, best time in the morning so no drinking and before pills start. So I sat him down and explained what I see and I'm worried in the amount he takes to be pain free. He still says he's not pain free when he takes that amount.  I told him I'm scared and the amount he's taking seems like he don't care. He replied he does not care, his back hurts to much and he's not going to hurt like that. Our funds are low and have to wait for workers comp to go through, hoping it will this time. So we have to wait before we get him into pain management due to the co pays and no money coming in( I make money but not enough to carry us through.) so stress again. What do I do? What do I say? I know he's in pain but I think he is using to numb the stress as well. When the alcohol is gone, no money to buy more, thank goodness. So that's a plus. And he will be out of pain meds soon and I have a feeling we will be back in the hospital. He has true pain, but he drinks and seems to come on more. Then over takes his medication. The amount he took last night waking me up closing the drawer grabbing more on top of what he just previously took scares me to death.  He also had low magnesium in hospital and not sure but I looked it up and can cause heart issues. Help.... Sorry long story, just want to be clear on the whys, when it started and how much stress he's under so I can get good answers back. Thank you....
2 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
Avatar universal
I am so sorry you are going through this! Workers comp can really be a pita... Unfortunately, your hubby is the only one who can change his behavior... As much as you love him, you can talk until your blue in the face but the only thing you can really do is pray he gets a grip on this! Pain can make us crazy and stress even crazier... Maybe you can have him come on here and read some posts or even make a post himself... Their are so many people here who truly care and who have been there..maybe somebody can get through to him... My prayers are with you in your times of trouble...
Helpful - 0
480448 tn?1426948538
Your husband is on a slippery slope for sure, you're justified in being concerned.  You said he has been sober for a year, I'm taking that to mean he had a drinking problem?

Often times, one substance leads to another substance, which leads to taking more of the first, like you're seeing.  His inhibitions get lowered when he's drinking, and he probably likes the way the combination of the drugs and alcohol make him feel.  It IS a dangerous mix.  Also, that he seems to be self medicating away some emotional issues is also indicative of an addiction problem.

Like rosy stated, YOU cannot fix this for him.  You cannot hold the pills or not buy the alcohol, if he is dead set on abusing these things, he will find a way I'm sorry to say.  

I would recommend trying to talk with the doctors, and expressing your concerns.  While he needs to address the pain, the docs need to be aware of the fact that he's abusing the medication.  

Especially when he gets into a pain management clinic, it's fairly common for those kinds of places to Rx some pretty powerful opiates.  That could be a recipe for disaster.  I'd say that your best bet at this point, on top of being honest with your husband about your concerns, is to get the medical team involved in what's going on.  

Is surgery an option for him?  The BEST way to address a pain issue is to try to FIX the problem, not just medicate it away.  I would recommend you telling the docs that that is your goal for him, that you're very concerned about how he is taking the pain medication.  You want him to have relief of course, but nothing about what he's doing sounds good.  Tell them you want your husband to try any and all approaches to address the pain, leaving pain medication as a last resort, only for when the pain is severe.

Best to you, please keep us updated!
Helpful - 0

You are reading content posted in the Addiction: Living with an Addict Community

Top Addiction Answerers
495284 tn?1333894042
City of Dominatrix, MN
3060903 tn?1398565123
Learn About Top Answerers
Popular Resources
Is treating glaucoma with marijuana all hype, or can hemp actually help?
If you think marijuana has no ill effects on your health, this article from Missouri Medicine may make you think again.
Julia Aharonov, DO, reveals the quickest way to beat drug withdrawal.
Tricks to help you quit for good.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.