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My boyfriend is addicted to gaba and kratom

So my boyfriend and i have been together for almost 2 years, but i have known him for 15.  I found out about 6 months into our relationship he was taking lyrica for pain and was trying to ween himself off of it.  (Keep in mind I knew absolutely nothing about drugs at all at this time and was completely nieve to any information he told me).  He decided to used Gabapentin to get off the lyrica.  Before this he was the friend i had known my whole life so loving and wonderful.  During the change he would get so angry with me out of no where and explosive angry, belittling everything about my body, mind, and soul.  I justified that he was in pain trying to get off this drug and it was not him.  Too make it somewhat short because i can't even remember all of it, in the past year he has used one thing after another to get off something... this is what i can remember and i know he has lied to me about alot.  Lyrica, Gabapentin, Kratom, Valium, Tramadol, Hydrocodone, clonodine, lots and lots of bc powder, other pain killers can't remember the name, unbelievable amounts of gaba and kratom,  took 50+ imodium several times at once, caffiene pills, simethicone, lots and lots of kratom.  (for those who say kratom isn't bad, i can set a timer for the changes in him after he takes kratom, it makes him a completely different person... i hate it so much).  He has stolen drugs from me, my parents, his family,all along convincing me he is in the process of trying to get off.  There were nights i stayed up with him all night long, rubbing his feet, going on walks, trying to help him get through the withdrawal pains.  But the next week he would still violently attack me with his words.  We can't go three days with him not going bazerk on me.  I love him so much, but he has lied to me soo many times.  I don't know why he lies to me about it because i always support him on trying to quit and try to help.   No one knows about all of this except me,  i have no one to talk to about it because everyone would tell me to leave.  I can't leave him, i have tried several times. For the past 4 months he has been lying to me that he was just taking simethicone, bc powder, and imodium.  But he was taking gaba and kratom the whole time.  He finally came clean about it last weekend.  I knew he was doing other stuff, it was obvious.  But i wanted him to tell me because he wanted to tell me.  He says this october he is checking into assisted recovery centers of america for detox and i am looking forward to it, but is it unrealistic to believe he will get off permanently?  I found out he has been addicted to something since 2004.  My self image and self esteem is tired of being battered by him, it is relentless. what should i do? is it possible for him ever to be clean?
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Avatar universal
Your story got to me! As a reformed 8 year addict to ANYTHING I could get, the answer is YES it is possible for him to get clean. The caveat is that he has to WANT IT! It sounds to me like he has been talking the talk while playing games with you and everyone else. He is using you and (this is going to be hard to swallow) you have been enabling him. I know all of this because I've been in his shoes. It's ugly and brutal and I truly feel for you, as I now do for everyone that I used in the same way. I personally stooped so low as to sell my mother's wedding ring just months after my dad passed away... At this point, he is snowballing everyone convincing you he's taking one thing to get away from another, it's only an excuse to use something else that he got his hands on to numb himself. My advice to you, take action! It speaks so much louder than words!! The hardest thing in the world is to show " tough love" but trust me it's what he needs. He needs to see real world consequences for his actions. Even though I know you really love him, you HAVE TO LEAVE!!! If you love him, force him to fix himself!!! Do not open back up to him until he can prove that he is sober!!! Make him see that the poisons he is a slave to is going to cost him everything important in his life!!! At my "rock bottom" I lost my wife, my home, and a good job because of my insane addiction to painkillers, ended up moving in with my mom after my dad died, selling things out of her home (yes, her wedding ring... I can't express what a piece of **** I feel like for that), and on the day she was going to kick me out, a miracle happened and I "woke up". Before she could tell me she wanted me to leave, as soon as I walked in the door I broke down and told her everything, and that I needed help. The last painkiller I took was in March of 2011. I'm a success story, a miracle, 5 years of clarity and sobriety, and I'll never go back. If I hadn't had so many things stripped away out of my life I never would have had that realization, so I'm now grateful that everything that happened led to me getting straight!!!! I'm going to be bold and put my email address here if you want to discuss this, you can contact me at ***@****. I'd be happy to share with you what's really going on in your boyfriend's head, and offer you my support to the best of my ability. I'll pray for you both! Your story really moved me because it reminds me of how I really used and mistreated my ex wife mentally and emotionally.
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