Been on methadone for 4 yrs, trying to come off alone, need hope and answers!?!

[needshope]

I was in a methadone clinic for 3 yrs, the highest I was on was 55mg. For, the past yr I was under a regular physician, she wrote me my methadone, an attempt to help save money. I went down to 40mg a day, now with no warning she has informed me she cant refill my meds. I think she wrote to many scripts or something. But, I 've been wanting to come off for awhile now, but I'm terrified I've haven't been sober in 5 yrs! I'm not very strong when it comes to this, I think I have this perception in my head that it is going to be soo bad, that I've worked myself up so bad, that I've started having panic attacks. My husband did it 3 yrs ago, himself, he went to work everyday, and made it look so easy. I have his support, and my mother, but I feel like it's hopeless!! I have some of my meds left, I took 3 a day, for a couple of days, and today I only took 2 1/2. I'm trying to go down slow, but I don't have a lot to do it like they do when I was in the clinic. I think they said, go down once every 4 weeks but, I don't have enough pills to do it that way. I do want this very bad, but I'm very skeptic, that I can. I was just wondering if anyone else is maybe doing the same, or has done it this way and it work. I'm praying, that I can do this. I am a stay at home mom, and have a lot of time on my hands, and that worries me, that I will sit here and drive myself crazy, thinking about everything.  Please help, any advice, or suggestions would help.  Thanks.

[rick412]

i come from 60 mgs of methadone down to 15 . i started coming down 5 mgs a week. then 3mgs. then 2mgs. when i got to 15 i felt like **** all the time so i walked off. i got a room for a week . locked the door and entered hell. first 3 days not 2 bad. days 4-12 suxed. then everyday got better. i'm at day 50 and i really feel good.i do go to meetings.and i am so glad i did it i have some control of my life again.i've been on every pill you can think of. and loved the dope. but nothing is as bad as done. the paws seems like it will never end. but for the most part it has.my family like's me better. lol . and i have more money. i really like helping other's

[junkhead]

Hey there,
I'm in the process myself, but I didn't get kicked out like you did. Bummer, but you can do it.
Did you go to the "Health Pages" that are linked in the upper right hand corner? I found TONS of useful information there. There is a posting there written by a doctor that specializes in detox, I found it extremely useful, at any rate, read them all, if you haven't already.
Arm yourself with all the useful info and any supplements/prescriptions that might make it less painful. That is my intention, but I'm soooo over this ****. I'd give ANYTHING to never see the inside of a methadone clinic again and intend to make that real.
Good luck and all the best to you.

J

[mtgoat911]

you can do this
to find a meeting in your area
google
na meeting locator
best wishes

[needshope]

Thanks for the support, and great advice!! It makes me think maybe I can do this. I didnt sleep alot last night, but it was alright. I think I'm getting better, as far as thinking I do have the strength to do this. I've been looking for meetings this morning, I hope I can find some soon.
I'm sure I will have alot more questions, keep a watch for me
Thanks sooooooo much

[kim715]

I have 9 months clean from methadone.Went c/t off of 25 mgs...It was a real rough road,but I made it.I wanted my life back,so like mtgoat,thats what I stayed focused on.This is a great place for help and support.Find a meeting and keep posting here.You can do this..All the best....Kim

[mtgoat911]

i can relate, i detoxed in 2004
i was on 240mg a day, plus nerve pills
best thing i ever did was get clean
i am a better wife and mother
so that being said, i would love to see you find an na meeting tonight
go in there and say "hey, i need help"
if you want a fast taper plan , i can help with that
but i am too far away to come over, and be there, so you can find people at na that can give you one on one support
you can do this!!!!
i was scared too, and yes it was hell
but my focus was on getting my life back
i wanted freedome, i wanted out of the hell i was living in
i just had to go through a bit more hell to get there
i belive that you want to be free, if you didnt want this, you could go back to the clinic with the rest of the zombies monday morning
its all about doing the next right thing and finding support
good luck