Not Really A Question but I'd just like to share my experiance with you

[missmae03]

I told him to stop and he finally left me alone. I had to go to the doctors cause he dislocated my jaw. I left him the next three days because it was the only available flight and i was not up to take the 24 ride back to calgary. I had to act like nothing was wrong with me those 3 days and his dad knew right when he saw me and took me to the doctors I had to lie and say I fell in the tub. Hi I am turning 20 next month and my ex boyfriend was a crack addict. I met him when I was 16 and I thought he was perfect - he was one of those people you could just talk to about anything and he was cute and smart. I didn't hear from him again until a year later. I found out he had a warrent for his arrest (long story). Within these days until he got caught him & I "fell in love". It got to the point where I dropped all my friends, my family, just to be with him. My friends are the bestest friends a girl could ask for - and my family, they loved me - they provided me with everything I needed. I left and lied to my parents because I was young and naive. At this time he just had gotten out of jail and told me he would "never go back". He of course had conditions upon his realease. He had a 10 o'clock curfew and I kept him inside our home before 10 o'clock for a good 2 weeks. But one day he just decided he needed to go out to have a couple of drinks and he wanted me to go with him cause he knew I would get him home on time... Well, we got a little drunk but I still managed to call a cab at 9:15. It came on time and we were having fun being drunk. I rolled down the window and saw some of my friends that I knew through my cousin and I waved.  He looked at me and slapped me. We got kicked out of the cab and he slapped me and punched me right across the c-train station.
There were so many people watching and no one did ANYTHING (makes me sick). he left me there walking away screaming. I cried to the train station and took the train home. I packed all my stuff and called my parents to come pick me up - within an hour or two they were there. To cut the story short - He went to jail that night and he called me crying and apligising and I was stupid and took him back .... He hit me again & I took him back - I don't know why I was just not using my mind.  I have a big heart and I believe people deserve chances... He got out of jail 11 months later and I came to pick him up.. he seemed really werid and just out of the ordinary. My parents agreed to let him live with us (only because that way they could watch me & feel more safe that I am home).  He worked with my dad and I worked with my mom everything was going good. He told me he started to smoke salvia he would take out some tabacco from his cig and put "salvia" at the end and smoke it. It got really frustrating and it got to the point where he was smoking it almost every 10 minutes. He would go outside and I wondered what the hell was so good about it.
He was a "drug dealer" and I would drive him around. One time he brought a crack head into my car and he took a hoot from his pipe I freaked out and kicked him out and as soon as I started to smell it I thought "what the hell that's the same sh*t you're smokin" but i didn't say it because I knew my ex, he had a short temper and I was just terrified of him. he then continued to smoke it Outside my family home, inside my car, when we would take a walk. And I started to act really funny around him and he could tell... Everyone was starting to suspect it - his best friend even asked him if he smoked and he freaked out and almost shot him... he asked him because he's the one who supplies him with the crack and he usually gives him it and tells him to pretty much double the money and he would never recieve not even half of the money my ex would owe him... We were living with his best friends at this time. After his friend asked him if he smoked he stole 500 dollars of his money and meet up with me (i didn't know about this money). This was a day before new years eve. He told me we should rent a hotel with the 500 but first buy smoke dope to "sell" so we could have more money later. So he spent 400 on the dope... and now we have only 100 for a hotel. He took me to the cheapest hotel possible SOO DIRTY. We got into the hotel and he ran right to the washroom.

He came out half an hour later. He went outside to look for people to sell it to. He sold 100 to one guy. He was in and out of that washroom probably 10 times. Everytime he would come out I would ask him to lay with me and he wouldn't he just kept looking out the window. I asked him why and he said because he thinks his best friend was after  him. I told him how can he possibly know where we are? and he said he just does and he put the little couch so it would block the way of the door and pretty much everything but the beds so no one could get in - HE WAS TRIPPIN. and i sat there and just watched him I could sleep. I know if i was to do the wrong move (call the cops call for help etc.) then he probably would have killed me if not killed me close to killing me. We had to check out the next day - - he did not look good, he didn't even sleep at all. We walked through downtown with our suitcases (LIKE I WAS HOMELESS) and he just freaked out for no reason he told me to stop walking behind him and to walk the oppsite side of where the street was because he didn't want anyone to look at me then one minute he would just start looking for things to yell at me then we just got into a huge arguement and he broke it off with me and called his friends saying "we're going out tonight I'm single!!". then after he would say sorry... We ended up at his friends house and it turned 12 he said HAPPY NEW YEARS to everyone BUT me. He even saw his friend kiss his girl and he just looked at them and went "AWWW" didn't even bother to come to me. After that he said he was going to go to the club and I told him I didn't have the proper clothes I was in sweats so he gave me money to rent out the same cheap hotel so we could have a place for the night. so i went back there and i tried calling him over and over and he said he was on his way back home (I couldn't get a cab cause it was so busy).
He didn't get home til 6 a.m.. WHAT A JOKE!!! From that day I told him he needed to go back to his father (who lived in the Yukon - we were in Calgary at the time). I took the greyhound with him 24 hours long!! His Dad is a loving and understanding person and has had problems with my ex ever since he was 14. He helped me get a job and everything. I had to go back to calgary for my best friends birthday and I was even surpirsed he let me.  To make the story short - I got back there and he was smoking it right in front of me he would go to the corner and look back right and left and smoke from his damn water bottle pipe he made then after he would walk all over the house with a febrezze bottle which was replaced with water and soup and he would spray it all around the house (thinking it would take the smell away- YA RIGHT!!). the next day he was out - he was trying to feel up on me and have sex with me and i told him "you're so unattractive right now!! you don't think I know what you're doing" and he would look down and be like "i know" and then the next minute he would get so mad he would say "why are u not putting out what the FU*K is your problem"  then he grabbed my legs and dragged me all over the house and I ran to the washroom. He was banging on the door and he said if  I didnt come out he would have to break the door so I came out he punched me right in the jaw I literally saw stars and got knocked out for 2 seconds. I ran to the bedroom and he grabbed my jaw and pushed me aginist the wall and he told me to be quiet he threw me on the bed. I thought I was going to get raped.

[Mangee]

It seems that many of us share a common thread where we or someone we know is involved in abuse of one sort or another. Unfortunately some are so scared of the abuser and  so intimidated that they are afraid to report it. This is the biggest mistake of all. When the abuser knows that you are completely cowed he will continue the abuse getting more and more violent as the days go by.  My grandaughter was terrorized by her boyfriend to the extent that she was afraid to go outdoors. He went to jail and sent over his buddies to continue to intimidate her. He phoned their son who was five at the time, from jail,  and told him that his mother was a ***** and that he was going to kill her. She got a resraining order against him that was nothing more than a piece of paper to him and continued to stalk and threaten her. At one point, while she was away from her apartment, he broke in, poured Javex on all her clothes and then lit a fire her bedroom. Luckily she and her new boyfriend returned just in time to catch it before it did too much damage. He was again arrested for having an assortment of rifles, revolvers, drugs etc in his stolen car and again sent to prison. He used a marker to mark up her door and kept phoning to talk to his son where he continued to threaten her through the boy. At another time he broke the nose of my grandaughter's girl friend and his son said he never wanted to see him again. There is more but I just wanted to show how easy it is for someone to intimidate a person to the point where they are living in constant fear. Nothing good can come from allowing it to continue. It is a must that whoever is being abused, go to the authorities. Unless this is done the person being abused could wind up permanently damaged or even dead. My grandaughter took my wife's and my advice and went to the police wher he was givenextra time in prison. Since she teastified against him she has heard nothing from him since the trial and that was over eight months ago. Then, of course, she uttered those words that is heard so often once an end has been put to the abuse, "I should have done this a long time ago."

[PromisedLand]

This week we "rescued' our 22 yr old daughter from a situation that was rapidly escalating..he wasn't doing drugs, but he drank at least 18 beers a day, didn't work and my daughter was paying for everything.  He became verbally abusive and we commented on it..my daughter said it was nothing..she had met him in Hawaii when she was there for an internship...and she fell in love and about 2 weeks after she returned, he came over to be with her..we welcomed him into our home but were very watchful..we saw a change in our daughter, and she would occasionally tell us of him "shoving her" and calling her names I won't repeat in here...she was clearly not happy.  One morning this week she called me and I knew something was wrong..I asked her.."he shoved me into a wall"  I told her I'd be there in 10 minutes.."no..it's OK..he's gone now"  I knew I should have gone..the situation escalated during the day to the point he actually beat her.  We considered calling the police. but that would have kept him here longer.  We gave him a choice..we call the police..or you catch the first plane out of here and don't come back..He left Thursday AM..we've already seen the change  in our daughter.  Thank God my wife didn't get ahold of this guy..she would have been worse on him than me..

Looking back, all the classic signs were there..

Jim

[landbray]

I hope that you are doing better then you were when you wrote this.
It sounds like you were absolute in chaos.
You are younger then my daughter , maybe that is why I am posting this,
Please understand that I am not judging you in anyway.Also I my intent is not to ridicule you. I just feel so bad about your story.Please get some one on one counseling, if you haven't already. For some reason, maybe childhood, friends, you picked this idiot to be your boyfriend.You don't want to make the same mistake again. ( I am pretty sure about that.) You need to find out the reason why you allowed your life to get to that point of such turmoil. To many women , especially young & out of school think they need to be married or with a boyfriend, they can't live without one, Well I know there are allot of older women who prove otherwise.
Your post sounds like you need some stability in your life. What you described is not the norm. Everything you do in life is a choice. "your choice". You choose to go back there knowing about the abuse. I hope you never put yourself in such danger again.
Good luck to you,
paaddict
"across the pond"

[missmae03]

I started kicking him and he grabbed my legs and started to punch my stomach. I told him to stop and he finally left me alone. I had to go to the doctors cause he dislocated my jaw. I left him the next three days because it was the only available flight and i was not up to take the 24 ride back to calgary. I had to act like nothing was wrong with me those 3 days and his dad knew right when he saw me and took me to the doctors I had to lie and say I fell in the tub.He knew and before I iwas leaving to take my flight I told him and he told me I deserve someone who loves me and he was only going to ruin me. I left. After he had to courage to finally admit to me on MSN MESSENGER that he was smoking it in jail for those 11 months he was there cause he thought he would never get out. he told me he was coming back to calgary cause his dad and him got into a fight. he came back and called me and threated me saying if I didn't see him he would come to my house and kill my family. I was so scared of him that I didn't know what to do BUT see him because I knew he would actually come to my house and something WOULD happen for sure. So I met up with him and he wouldn't smoke it around me but he would be so depressed.

He would whine and cry to me about everything and how he lost his life.... I finally got rid of him the next day at 6 a.m in the morning. He kept calling and calling.... He told me to met him somewhere and I told him i would be there but I really didn't want to. I got my cousin to pick up my phone and tell him that I left my cell phone at home and that I was on my way and he said "you're a fu*kin liar" and hung  up. He called again and said he would come to my house if I wasn't there in the next hour. My cousin advise that I called the cops. So I finally had the courage to. I told them to met me across the street at the gas station. I told them the location and I stayed away from my house and told my brother to lock all the windows. He called my little brother and said "do me a favor and tell your sister she's dead" and hung up. the cops called me an hour later and told me they went to the location but he left 10 minutes before. AN HOUR LATER? it took 10 minutes to get there!!!. My cousin and I sat in my car parked til 4 a.m and we finally decided to  come home we were so scared to get out of the car in fear of him being there but he wasn't we slept in my brother's room cause we were so scared.


The next couple of days on the news there was a person who stole a taxi - put a knife to the driver but the driver manage to run off. The cops were in the oppisite direction and the person saw and paniced and crashed into a semi-truck. IT WAS HIM... I checked my messages on nexopia the next day and it said "I'm going to downtown and smoke my sh*t and come to your house and kill you" the news said the driver was headed to the downtown core. THANK GOD he didn't make it to my house. The calls started coming in from jail. He would love me the next day and hate me the next. Then I started to avoid his calls and he accused me of cheating while he was in jail for 11 months. Now he is out of my life!!! EVERYTHING made so much sense when I found of he smoked crack. All the lies and all the time he was so violent with me.  GIRLS PLEASE GET YOURSELF OUT OF THIS SITUATION! ALL CRACKHEADS THINK ABOUT IS CRACK AND WANTING MORE AND MORE AND THEY WILL HURT THE PEOPLE WHO ARE CLOSEST TO THEM BECAUSE THOSE PEOPLE ARE THE ONES WHO USUALLY SUPPORT IT AND ARE SCARED TO LOOSE THEM.  This situation not only has effected my future but i think about him everyday, not because I still love him because I can't not forget him. all the places in calgary remind me of him. It hurts but I keep strong. You gotta look at it in a way where as you live and you learn. It has lowered my self esteem so much that I don't love myself. I can't get into a serious relationship because I can't trust any man. ONCE YOU DRAW YOURSELF AND SUPPORT SOMEONE WITH THIS DIRTY HABIT YOU WILL ONLY FEEL GUILT IN THE END - YOU WILL ONLY HATE YOURSELF AND IF YOU DON'T LOVE YOURSELF YOU CAN'T LOVE ANYONE ELSE. this goes for all users and NON users. CRACKHEADS can't LOVE ANYONE because they don't love themselevs to begin with they only love the high. US WHO DEAL WITH IT - hate ourselves because of what we put ourself through ... well STOP BEFORE YOU HATE YOURSELF EVEN MORE. I hate to say but you put yourself in this position - just like I put myself in mine. Just put your mind into it and you can do it. DO IT FOR YOURSELF. don't do it for someone who will ruin your life.
I hope this story encouraged all of you..

GOD BLESS!