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1383825 tn?1315232262

First family vacation without Vicodin

Deep breath... Okay, I'm on Day 25. Every day stronger, but not on my own! The hard nosed people on this site, my faith, and my EYES OPEN are all contributing factors to staying clean.
My family, work and addiction, are all THE SAME.
Earlier this month (around Days 14 - 19) I made it through my first work trip without the pills.  
I know I can do this vacation clean, but last night in bed I was running through the events in my mind (the packing, the unpacking, the fights, the blah blah blah ...) of family vacations and my CRAZY THINKING started to kick in.
So I am posting! I hope my BBry has access where we are going in the mountains. I'll be reading all of your TRUE stories. I will have lots and lots of struggles in my head, but physically and mentally I will be clean. Please stay at it also if you are on this path. Stay on it! If you step off, step BACK! You are integral to me and I need you!!!! The life you are living is worth living clean.
Hugs,
Lindsay
7 Responses
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176495 tn?1301280412
It was nice because it helped take my mind off of pills and enjoying the sun and pool and great people..the best time I had was one night we all took a boat cruise (non booze) out about 45 minutes to a lagoon where there are phosphorescent critters (plankton?) in the water...in the dark they glow this beautiful blue and there are millions of them...they stop the boat in the dark and you can get out and swim in them...was so beautiful..pitch black out, about 10 of us swimming in 4 foot deep water with these beautiful glowing critters...I floated on my back and looked up and you could see a billion stars...the captain finally had to beg me to get back in the boat..

we came very close to booking another trip to Jamaica next month but hurricane season is approaching there and it ain't cheap...but I know I'll take that cruise again.

Jim
Helpful - 0
1349329 tn?1276985202
Good job on taking a vacation while tapering.  I was supposed to go Camping this past weekend with some girlfriends, but backed out because of Anxiety.

Also good for you Lindsay on your accomplishment.

Traveling is hard for me, I admire you guys alot for your achievements.  Maybe one day that will be me talking about going on Vacation or Camping or whatever.
Helpful - 0
176495 tn?1301280412
Yes we do, Lindsay or we'd never make it...it's great when you realize "I'm me!!"  My wife pointed it out to me yesterday.."you're becoming the Jim I married"....which pushes me even more...we can think more clearly, actually get stuff done..my wife's been after me for months just to take an old rocking chair to the dump..I did it Saturday and shocked her...yesterday I hung up a coat rack in a hallway (I'm not the most carpentry inclined) but dang it I got that thing hung level as can be EXACTLY where the missus wanted it..felt so good...

God Bless you Lindsay, and thank you and may you continue on your journey...it gets better every day...

Jim
Helpful - 0
1383825 tn?1315232262
Thank you so much for your comments and wisdom. Something interesting happened yesterday. I was so "me" with no vicodin that I could very quickly sort out the crap and chaos and distract myself without over reacting (yet). I see more clearl what is going on (other peeps bad mood, other peeps guilt trip or blame game) and so I can react more appropriately and definitely more healthy.
I have ACESS via my Blackbry!!!
Oh and I wanted to let Beargizmo know that I think you are doing awesome too! Thank you for your story about Jamaica I got sme Laughs even tho I know you were not having fun at the time. Your post was just so visual.  We gotta LoL, right?
Helpful - 0
176495 tn?1301280412

Great news!  We recently returned from a family vacation to Jamaica with our adult daughters while I was on a taper plan..the worst part for me was anxiety...when I travel, whether it business or vacation, etc, I have my way of doing things...I want to be at the gate 1 hour before the flight boards. Period.  I want to be checked in, bags checked (if needed) and through security at least 1.5 hours before boarding.  I want to be at the airport (and I can be from home to checkin in 15 minutes) 2 hours before the flight.

So imagine my anxiety when we get to the airport (after I called out "passport check" before we left the house and everybody assured me they had them) and my youngest daughter can't find hers..ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHH..all sorts of plan B's put into effect, my son would drive it up to the airport and she would grab a later flight and meet us at the airport in Jamaica (ever been to the airport in Jamaica?)..the first time freaked me right out...finally she found it...phew..OK..30 mins til boarding, bags checked off to security.  I have a pacemaker...pat down check....through security...anxiety rising..."OK guys...gate 9!"  "we want a cigarette and something to eat"  Arrrrrrggggh....of course we made it in plenty of time...coming back was the same..with the added attraction of the girls just disappearing and not telling us where they were going as we walk to the gate...but we all made it, all the anxiety for naught..

Just try to keep yourself calm and focused and try to relax..25 days is a great place to be..

Jim
Helpful - 0
352798 tn?1399298154
I hope you have internet too. Just remember, it's not your crazy thinking. It's the dope, and you are not one. (a dope) Have a fun time on vacation. Don't expect anything good so that everything nice can then be a blessing.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hey Lindsay!!!!

Welcome,  I soooo understand how you are feeling about this.  It's almost like you are leaving behind one of your friends.  It's paramount to a freaking act of mutiny not to take that comfort in a bottle with you.  It's all a bunch of crap too!!!!  The stinking thinking is our minds way of getting us back on the pills.

You know you can do it, you just DID with your work trip.  Turning to pills because of crazy events in one's life is a sign you could use a new way.  Are you working with anyone on this problem?  Have you tried NA? a counselor?  

I am sure your vacation will keep you quite busy and THAT will help you.  Getting as far as you have cannot be done without some real work and determination and you have done amazing to get this far!!!!!

Goodluck and keep keeping,

bob
Helpful - 0
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