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563594 tn?1309583132

Found out something devastating yesterday.

Hi friends, wanted to tell someone and this seemed like the appropriate place, okay, so my friends and I have been posting old class pictures on Facebook (if anyone has one and wants to add me, message me for the info :)), we started tagging everyone we knew and were still in contact with. We found almost everyone and then one of my friends posted RIP Tina under one of the photos. I was DEVASTATED. I immediately went to my friend Vanessa's page and posted on her wall asking what the heck had happened to Tina, and I found out she was in a pretty bad car crash early 2009, became addicted to opiate painkillers, and she overdosed and passed away on July 4th 2009. This was such a sweet loving little (and I mean little, 4 foot 10) girl...I spent so much time at her house when I was in grade school... July 4th 2009... 5 days before my clean date last year. I was very upset by this, I feel like if I would've been around and known what was up with her, maybe just maybe I could've helped in some way. The last time I had spoken with her was sometime in 2008 on MySpace, and she had moved to SF, which explains why I didn't know about her passing earlier than 6 months after she passed. I'm so sad about this, and at the same time I feel so da*n LUCKY to be alive, I could (likely would) be in the same place as my friend Tina IF I wouldn't have stopped abuse when I did. To top this off, a friend of mine who had been battling a very aggressive cancer passed away on Sunday :( I can't stop thinking about both of them, I do on the other hand feel like there are 2 more angels watching over me... I know they're proud of my decision to get clean, especially beautiful sweet Tina.♥
12 Responses
495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
Oh Panda i am so sorry to hear about your friends passing away.  Tina's death is the cold hard reality of this addiction and it could of been anyone of us. As for your other friend with cancer, that is such a devasting disease also.  May they both have found peace now.  Yes they are watching over you now and are very proud of you for getting clean just as we are~~~~~~~hugs to you my Panda            sara
563594 tn?1309583132
Thanks Sara, it is hard to deal with, but you're so right, I KNOW they are both proud of me, and I know all of you are too. As I am SO proud of all of you, we are truly the minority when it comes to addiction. So glad we're making it, couldn't do it without you ♥ Big hugs back!
Avatar universal
ahhhh panda I am so sorry. I know how it feels. I found out a freind of mine was hit by a car 6 years ago and when I found it it was like it was today.
I am so sorry for you loss!

Terry
495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
Dont bottle the feelings up.  Let yourself feel your pain.  Grief can be very hard on us.  
563594 tn?1309583132
I'm definitely not going to bottle it up. This week got even worse, a friend called me yesterday and told me that a friend of ours had been murdered in his apartment in San Fransisco. I spent a lot of time with Rodney, he was very much one of my best friends for a few years. Unfortunately, I'm almost 100% sure that it must have had something to do with drugs. I can't imagine anyone doing that to someone. I've been sharing lots of memories with some friends about him & it's nice to remember the good times. It's just difficult to keep my head up when everything seems to be falling apart. The Haiti situation is really bothering me this past week, can't stop thinking about all the horror and devastation! I'm watching football trying not to think about all the horror recently. ugh.

This is the article about my friend from the SF Chronicle:
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2010/01/13/BADQ1BHOFK.DTL
495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
I just read the article and the comments......such a tragedy.  One of the things i noticed was by the people of S.F. who did comment....they are so hardened to this sort of thing,almost like it is supposed to be this way.  I couldnt imagine living in a place where murder is the norm.

I am so sorry for the loss of your friend.  I hope whoever did this is found and justice will be served.  As for you, one more angel to watch over you~~~~hugs Panda         sara
176495 tn?1301280412
Please accept my condolences, and allow yourself time to grieve, Panda...a horrible thing.


Jim
1165765 tn?1279148148
heres a song especially for you, dedicated to your lost friend...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qgUL3ut4gyQ

let your memories grow stronger and stronger.

i hope it doesnt make you feel worse. but it has alot of meaning.

Luv Anh, hold in there!
Avatar universal
Were you speaking of the musical video, The Call? That was so touching. I gathered, for myself, that my son is not gone, he is only a call away. It is at this time I can feel his prescence as I recall all the memories. He was diagnosed with NHL/Leukemia at the age of 8 in 1989. On 1-31-98, he passed. Even though it has been 12 years, it feels like it was just yesterday. I still have grief, but with professional health I am expressing my feelings in positive ways. Thanks again for the song. I didn't cry. It just reminded me of things I already knew.

Does anyone have or know of a site where I can listen to "Butterfly Kisses" and "Amazing Grace" ? I sure would appreciate.

Panda, my prayers are with you. You have done a positive thing by opening up and telling others of your loss. Love ya.
Avatar universal
Were you speaking of the musical video, The Call? That was so touching. I gathered, for myself, that my son is not gone, he is only a call away. It is at this time I can feel his prescence as I recall all the memories. He was diagnosed with NHL/Leukemia at the age of 8 in 1989. On 1-31-98, he passed. Even though it has been 12 years, it feels like it was just yesterday. I still have grief, but with professional health I am expressing my feelings in positive ways. Thanks again for the song. I didn't cry. It just reminded me of things I already knew.

Does anyone have or know of a site where I can listen to "Butterfly Kisses" and "Amazing Grace" ? I sure would appreciate.

Panda, my prayers are with you. You have done a positive thing by opening up and telling others of your loss. Love ya.
Avatar universal
OMG...Excuse the double print. Do not know how it occurred.
Madlyn
563594 tn?1309583132
thank you Anh, and everyone for your support. The memorial services were difficult, but I made it through and didn't have any urges to use. It actually all made me MORE thankful that I am still clean today! Life is so precious, we can't take for granted the things we have & waste away great lives (good times & bad times) being on dope. Love y'all & thanks again I can always count on you guys for support ♥
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