Friends no more.

[Mangee]

I was having coffee with a friend, who was in town for a few days, yesterday and during the conversation I mentioned how I came to this site and how it helped me. He said,"What, you are on a back and forth with addicts." I said,"Yes, I am and I am really interested in them and I help wherever I can." He wanted to know why I was wasting my time on the,"Dregs of society,"  After that the conversation became heated because I told him that in my mind it was not a waste of time. Trying to explain to him that I had an experience that put me on a par with the people here, and that I knew what you were all going through, was of no use. He is one of those,"Holier than thou," type of persons who always considers him above others.. Anyway, the people in Tim Horton's were all staring and when I told him to get lost with his high minded ways, he stomped out and several of the customers there actually applauded me while others gave me that," Shame on you look."  To top it off he left me with the check. The last I saw of him, he was peeling out of the parking lot squeeling his tires. I guess the people I know back in my home town, Toronto, are going to get an earful or two. I'm not worried because my true friends, back home, will turn their back on him. Then there is this, at my age I really don't give a damn.

[Savas]

Don't be to surprised. There's a continuing push in society today that's very media supported to portray addicts as dirt, uneducated, stupid "dregs of society". If you go on watchdog, they post up articles from all over the country that do this.

Of course, they tend to have a bent towards MMTP support.

But it's a reaction to our government/medical community not wanting to address the problem of so many Americans being addicts. Partly because they can't make up there minds (medical community). There's a lot of infighting about addiction and pain management, and the government likes to stir the pot.

Dealing with people who are ignorant is difficult. They don't want to be educated. It's like with Nazi Germany. It was easy for the Nazi's to write of Jews because they categorized them as "Dirty sub-humans". So being dismissive towards a group is the cheapest/easiest way to deal with them.

AND, it lets a person feel a false sense of superiority.

[marcatj]

Agree 110%.  It's right up there with the Golden Rule...

[GA Guy]

I woulda clapped and payed your check :)

[Marce4]

As always, you are wise beyond your "advanced"LOL years!  I couldn't agree more that you can't judge a person until you've walked a mile in their shoes!  Thanks for that uplifting post! Good to see you are still here!
Peace,
Marcie

[Mangee]

Well, it goes without saying that you can never know what someone else is going through until you experience it yourself. It brings to mind the old adege,"Never judge a person until you have walked a mile in his/her shoes." As for the coffee, it had a bitter taste. That I guess comes from the bile that was rising up into my throat. No, I will not leave the door open for him. As I recall, from the first day I met him in Toronto he was always better than most, according to him. I abided him because he was one of the,"Crowd." By this I mean he was alwys there when a bunch of us would meet for whatever. No matter what you had, his was better etc. I doubt very much that he will be phoning me any time soon. Anyway, it felt good to say what I had to say, and mean it.

[tzt2lady]

Good for you for standing your ground, Mangee.  
When I got clean in '86 I was on probation and my probation officer actually forbade me to go to NA meetings because I would be hanging around a "bunch of addicts".    I had to go over his head to get him schooled about how much we who have been there can help each other.

[ThursdayNext]

Wow.  I have had the reaction to others things with people in my life bascially I  judged them like he judges you,  which comes down to fear and bamm it shows up at my front door EVERY SINGLE time.  Just a small piece of advice.  Leave the door unlocked for your friend.  He might need you one day if his luck runs like mine.
I hate confrontation. Sorry it happened.  Was the coffee good?  That's always a nice consolation to me.

[marcatj]

Good for you sweet pea...  and life, in my humble opinion, has a funny way of working out.  Somehow, some way, he will see addiction up close and personal and it will be a very uncomfortable day for him... at least that's what I believe.  Karma, mother f***er!!  :-)

You know, that's one thing Moyers kid writes about in his book (about his addiction.)  His first public speech when he first got hired at Hazeldon (I don't remember his title now...something about Public Policy) but in his first speech, there he was, in front of a few hundred rotary club members.  they'd all just eaten lunch and weren't paying alot of attention as he started his speech, that he was reading from his notes..

then, he stopped in his tracks.  His golden-spoon, clean-cut, expensive suit Bill Moyer's son tracks - and looked around the room and said "Look at me.  This is the face of addiction."  Then told his story.  The room stopped.  In the end, they stood and applauded him.  And many came up afterward and told of their own or someone they loved stories of addiction...

Many don't know that the addict is every man, from every walk of life...  maybe too, one day, we'll all be comfortable saying it openly, to take away the stigma.  If enough of us speak out.  That is Moyer's theory, anyway....

[FLaddict]

I think getting stuck with the check was a price worth paying for your integrity... which I already knew you had a good deal of... You as always are a real stand up guy Mangee... YOu fought a battle many here are too embarrassed or ashamed to fight... and we thank you for fighting that for us.

XOXO
Stephanie
Day 90