I don't know if this helps you, I am only saying something because I want you to know that I care. I am sorry for this tragedy and wish you the best. I can offer a "shoulder" and ears to listen if you need to talk/vent/grieve to someone.
I can see though how your dad left a great legacy, that many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren is something to be proud of, especially considering he was a true family man and was there (still is in a way) for all of them.
May he rest in peace.
Thank you for your words, I need to get this out and this forum has helped me through my addiction and thats why I came here. Honestly I almost took some percs to numb the pain, but I remembered the promise I made to him and myself self not to do that. I am just hurting and verbalizing helps me to grieve. So I will type type type.