OMG I'm peeing in my pants, crying from laughing and I spilled my tea all over the place, somebody help meeeeeeeee!!!
Thanx guys, yall crack me up!!!!
xoxxo. sophie.
lmao....hmmm tis got a lil wild while i was at work i c....QUALITY OF RIDE huh....thats so true....lol...Norco..I know you are happy to b married..and i also know you happy to have men fighting over you : )
NorcoQueen and Lee I knew I kept you around for some reason. Just kidding. Those were great. Remember, you snatched up Lee but you were kind enough to share with me my sweetie whitie. We'll see what happens when the next horse rides along! LOVE YOU GUYS!
LOLOL!! Please - we NEED humor.. LOL.. laughing feels good!
I agree with the "IT'S ALL ABOUT THE QUALITY OF THE RIDE".....
AND THE BREED!
And.. please note... this is ALL in GOOD HUMOR...
As I am a happily married women (x's 28 years... and.. I'd marry my husband ALL over again...He's my HERO)
This seems like a private conversation - GREAT! All the more reason for me to but in..
You know.. from what I've heard.. its not about the size of your horse.. its all about the quality of the ride...
WHAT???? hmmmmm what am i going to do....how can i compete with "that other guy" guess i have to accept it......So I just have to ask why?....its about his horse huh? his horse is bigger than mine?
of COURSE I'm WITH "the OTHER GUY 's "
I'm the "SOOOO MANY MEN... SOOOO LITTLE TIME"... QUEEN OF THE UNIVERSE..
lol..i loved yours also...keep em coming cause we ALL need good laughs...
love you, lee
P.S. You still with "the other guy"? lol.....miss you : )
Lee.. I LOVED those! Espcially the one:
"I would not allow this employee to breed"
Love you and your HUMOR!
You make me LAUGH OUT LOUD!
TOP TEN SIGNS YOUR SPOUSE IS HAVING A CYBER AFFAIR...
10. Lately, she sits at the computer naked.
9. After signing off, he always has a cigarette.
8. The giant rubber inflatable disk drive.
7. In the morning, the computer screen is all fogged up.
6. He's gotten amazingly good at typing with one hand.
5. Every day, Bill Gates sends 10 million dollars worth of flowers.
4. The jam in the laser printer is a pair of underwear.
3. During sex she screams "A COLON BACKSLASH ENTER INSERT!!!!"
2. The fax file is filled with pictures of some guy's ***.
1. Lipstick on the mouse.
I found these on google;
These quotes were taken from actual Federal (US) employee performance evaluations...
"Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."
"His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity"
"I would not allow this employee to breed"
"This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be"
"Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap"
"When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet"
"He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle"
"This young lady has delusions of adequacy"
"He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them"
"This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot"
"This employee should go far, and the sooner the better"
"Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together"
"A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus"
"He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless"
"He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier"
"I would like to go hunting with him sometime"
"He's been working with glue too much"
"He would argue with a signpost"
"He has knack for making strangers immediately"
"He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room"
"When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell"
"If you see 2 people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one"
"A photographic memory but with the cap over the lens"
"A prime candidate for natural deselection"
"Donated his brain to science before he was done using it"
"Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming"
"Has 2 brains, one is lost, the other is out looking for it"
"If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week"
"If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change"
"If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean"
"It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000 other sperm"
"One neuron short of a synapse"
"Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled"
"Takes him 12 hours to watch 60 Minutes"
"The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead"