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950633 tn?1306056969

Just saying Hello & looking for support

Hiya all. Not been on here in sometime as been back out caught up in the madness yet again!! Have recently started on suboxone...6mg a day, which when I read some other posts seems a pretty low dose. I just can't seem to get my head round why I keep relapsing, I'm aware of what I do I follow the same pattern over & over (contact wi my ex partner who has been in my life for 22yrs & still in active addiction) yet I can't seem to stop myself. I am attending a clinic weekly for support and am working on this one on one wi my drug support worker. I have tried attending NA meetings in the past many times & have stuck at it for quite some time but it's really not for me. This last time I returned I was always leaving feeling worse than when I arrived!!! I have also recently had the news that I have contracted HEP C and have biopsy etc & they are pushing me to start treatment but Im not sure I'm ready for it. However I have the hospital again next month as when I last attended in Feb they were unable to ascertain my genotype as my readings were so low. Not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing, they don't really explain what this means to you.

I'm posting because I feel really lost & alone just now. I have no finances whatsoever & therefore find it hard to get out to meet people and most of the people I know are still using. I only have a couple of non-using friends who both recently had children & therefore have fairly busy lives. I have contact wi my family but again they all have their own lives and I don't like to keep imposing.

Suppose I'm just feeling blue...it ***** though
xxx :(
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950633 tn?1306056969
I forgot to add my DOC's were Heroin & Crack mainly but whateva else was going around.
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495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
Your not alone here so keep talking with us.  Do you like the drug counselor you are talking with?
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Avatar universal
It's really good to see you're trying again and it seems you are successful so congrats! How long have you been on suboxone now? I am curious how come you leave NA feeling worse than when you got there? From what you wrote, it seems like NA may actually be a good route of aftercare because it is free and there are lots of people to meet and hangout with/get to know. Especially since you mentioned many of your friends are still using. Have you ever tried AA? I know that is for alcohol but I have a lot of friends that were drug addicts that go to AA and seem to like it more than NA. They just substitute alcohol for drugs and really its all the same.

It sounds like you know what your triggers are and what behaviors you have to watch out for. I am the same way, there are certain people I know I must avoid when I am sober and then one day I find myself contacting them, making excuses that I am just calling to say "hi" or what not and before I know it I am back using. Anyways, congrats on getting clean again, I hope you can find some aftercare that works for you and gives you a chance to make some sober friends to give you support and to have some fun!
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1235186 tn?1549257619
hi sorry to hear that you are still struggling. addiction can definitely be a roller coaster. you are getting aftercare that is good, one on one is a plus. maybe you can ask your counselor if she knows of an support groups. many times they have them at hospitals, many different churchs run their own support groups, not aa/na. not sure in the uk but in the states they have celebrate recovery and overcomers. do you exercise? that would be great to help you also give you something to do. what about a new hobby? joining a book club, learning to knit or crochet, (sounds corny) but you never know. do you attend church services? that would be a way to meet new people. why dont you think you are ready for the hep c treatment? my husband had hep c and i had to give him interferon. it is rough during the treatment but it is necessary to make your liver healthy. my husband is fine now. he was treated over 10 yrs ago. no problems since. look around in your area for things that are free to do, maybe visit museums, the weather is nicer now, so get outside as much as you can. do you work? maybe you could meet with some of the people you work with. it is always important to change people, places and things. you know seeing your x if they arent still using isnt smart. i would really, really try to end that. well take care of yourself and keep posting.
blessings
debbie
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