Please Always Remember

Question

Today, I had to go to my best friend's husbands funeral......... actually I met her when I hired him as a manager working for me gosh  about 20 years ago.........so he was also a  very special friend to me, even before I met his wife.  We cliqued because we all had the same values for  family.....  hard work.. you know  those aspects of our lives that are so important.  

They have been there for me thru the good, the bad, the ugly, and the beyond hell of my daughter's addiction.  Never with judgement  only with love.  When I had to speak today, and I didn't want to....   I have done it way too many times before,  however when I looked his children in the eyes,  and for support, my now sober daughter's eyes,  the words and love were expressed easily......    I hope no one ever forgets how very much your family needs and loves you and it goes without saying forgives all addictive behaviour.....   

I have only respect for what my daughter is today,  and thank God everyday she is healthy.......  today I leaned on her completely and no one could ever comfort me as she did........  this child that was at one time yes a really bad addict and did some really bad things in her addiction,  but today she was  the real her,  the one that supported me today,  that is my daughter I know and love unconditionally.     She was there for me today.  And I know she will be tomorrow.  Please remember how special you are to your friends and family,  and please know  all they want is you back in their lives.  Oh  and when you kiss your kids or your lover goodnight,  remember you are blessed.

lonewolf07 · Answer

Late August - I'm so sorry to hear about your loss and am genuinely glad for your good feelings about your daughter. God helped her a lot but so did you and now you are both getting your "rewards". Hugs to you Late August and to your daughter. Whether you ever talk to me again is irrelevant, what is important is your daughter being clean and you finding contentment.

LateAugust · Answer

Thank you  for your kind words.....  I will miss Barry so very much; however, you are all correct about  finding the good in the "sad".  He had cancer which had begun to ravage his body,  but even a few weeks ago we had dinner out and he was still doing well.  He died of cardiac arrest,  very quickly and with minimal pain.  I am so grateful, as is his family, he didn't suffer thru the  death of cancer,  no person should have to endure that experience.

It was important to me to share the support I had from my girl, so many of you  on MH have been here for me, when depression would have been a more positive feeling than anything  I felt after 99 bazillion  of her relapses!!      And I guess also I wanted to say,  the past is the past,  please never let it interfere with your future, or not allow you  to re-cement those relationships that were so strong prior to addiction.

Sometimes I *itch about my mother making me crazy,  the whole financial mess of the country gives me a stomach ache, and the neighbors don't cut their grass enough times to my satisfaction :)    In the big scheme of things,  of what is truly important,  I may lack in appreciating  or fully accepting the most important aspects of my life, and expressing my gratitude, as I am truly so very lucky.   I think some of us have more blessings than we realize, or perhaps accept.   My family and the love of friends,  I have been  given so much, I never want to take them or their love  for granted, and sometimes I need a reminder of how fortunate I am, and it should not take the loss of a dear friend to do so....

Of course our hearts will hurt, time is truly a great healer, but with that time of healing, I   need to accept the support, love  and gratitude for all that makes my life complete.

I wish you all well...and never to doubt yourself or your contributions in so many ways..   that was my original intent.  And   to share again how well my daughter is doing, and to hope for you contentment.....

Thank you again, so very much!!

allaboutmary · Answer

I'm so sorry for your loss.  A beautiful post.

10356 · Answer

LateAugust.. I have mixed emotions when reading this..I would like to offer my condolences to you your Husband and Family as well as an extension to your Friends Family..  My Pleasure at reading of the comfort you found in your Daughter is so touching..
My heart swelled with Pride for Your Daughter :) and in extension once again for you.. What a Wonderful and Courage's Woman you are.. warmly lesa

IBKleen · Answer

I am sorry for your loss. There are never the right words to say in a time such as this.

You brought instant tears to my eyes. The love and support of family and friends is a precious gift and should never be misused. I will, as you suggested, kiss my hubby tonight when I go to bed and I will remember how important he is in my life.

Thanks you for sharing with us something so private and so heart felt.

cathy5841 · Answer

lateaugust, i too am sorry for your loss.  I am soo glad your daughter continues to amaze you.  you are an awesome mom, she is lucky to have you.

Jacqui805 · Answer

My condolences to you first of all............................

...........and what you write, so important....No one is any ONE thing.  Labels are so harsh, judgemental, and come with ideas about them that are either largely incorrect, or that leave out the possibility of change or anything positive still being apart of the person being labelled.

No one is any one thing.