Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
256607 tn?1248899504

Struggling with my resolve

She had me talked into getting back together and I want to believe she can make better choices, but every day she shows me the drugs are present and she is not going to stop taking too many at a time.  She uses the same excuses over and over and over, like a broken record.  She wants me to believe in her, but I can't.  She wants me to be patient, but my heart hurts so bad that I can hardly think of anything else.

I am struggling, feeling weak, feeling defeated.  I want out and cant get out until I can get a few paychecks from my new job under my belt.  I am suffering and in so much pain, and no amount of crying, begging, bit*hing, pleading, threatening, or anything else is going to make her stop abusing the soma.

I am so hurt, I cannot even explain how painful this is, to watch someone you love, kill themselves.

Thanks for listening.

Debbie
3 Responses
Avatar universal
i am so sorry...You have been struggling with this for so long..U know the answer...She can cry and plead...but the only thing she can really do is STOP using...And that is it..
again i am sorry
r2r
256607 tn?1248899504
Thanks for always being there.  You are right.  I don't know why it is so hard to face.  I don't understand why it is so hard for me to let go and completely accept the truth that she wont even accept.  I know in my head that it really is as simple as that, but my heart is hurting so much.  

Here we go with the wishes.....I wish things could be good and that she would participate in any kind of recovery.  I wish I could make her addiction go away and that her and all of you could be free of it.  I wish I hadn't fallen in love with her.  I wish I had given up long ago.  I wish it were easier to give up now.  I wish we could have the life together that I thought we were going to have.  I wish for so much that will never come through.

I will stick to my resolve no matter how hard.  I will get out because I truely believe nothing will change.

Good night everyone.

See you soon.

Love,

Debbie
401095 tn?1351391770
I hate it when love hurts like that...it is not supposed to hurt...thinking of u
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Addiction: Social Community

Top Addiction Answerers
495284 tn?1333894042
City of Dominatrix, MN
3060903 tn?1398565123
Other
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Is treating glaucoma with marijuana all hype, or can hemp actually help?
If you think marijuana has no ill effects on your health, this article from Missouri Medicine may make you think again.
Julia Aharonov, DO, reveals the quickest way to beat drug withdrawal.
Tricks to help you quit for good.
The first signs of HIV may feel like the flu, with aches and a fever.
Frequency of HIV testing depends on your risk.