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9880688 tn?1414115647

21 Days Today----Thank You Lord & MH Family

YAY I've hit 21 days....not that many to be sure but considering 3 weeks ago I didn't even think I could do it, well it seems like a huge amount of time.  Still have bad days...but I can't even blame that on the not taking of drugs.  I also learned I'm suffering from exhaustion/stress and it is starting to take it out on my body so I'm having some issues.  Soooo I do what I gotta do and I sleep A LOT...but it doesn't ever feel like I'm rested.  The last time I felt like this was 10 years go after hubby's transplant and it took me a year to get back to normal so I guess being as I'm even older than the hills now...it will take a bit longer :-)

Have a great Friday and weekend everyone.  We may borrow hubby's family camper (situated beautifully on the water) and have a mini vacation.  Will decide after hubby gets up and decides whether or not he feels up to it.

Thanks to all of you....
20 Responses
1926359 tn?1331588139
BTW.  Still have not slept.  Fell asleep after 12:30, got woken up by the cat at 3 am.  I am a train wreck.  That would be my eighth night with less than 4 hours sleep.
I just ate a piece of toast and took a sleeping pill because I am desperate.  Geez it's like detox all over again!!!
Pray I get a few hours before I go for my pedicure.  If you lived here I would treat you to one (:
xo
Lu
9880688 tn?1414115647
Oh I shouldn't have posted until I was awake.  I also wanted to give a huge WTG to 61chevy who passed his 21 days...and is creeping up on 25 I believe.  Thank you 61....you've helped me pass the time in a good way instead of just listening the tick tick tick of the clock!!  You are awesome and doing SO great!!!!
9880688 tn?1414115647
Errrr sorry 61chevy....typo...I really meant 27 days.  Hard to believe that after 20 years with no caffeine that I still crave it sometimes.  Days like today when I didn't sleep good...my brain is much...and I've made a note to myself...do not ever post again until you've been awake for at least an hour :-D
1926359 tn?1331588139
You go girl!  I am so very proud of you.  Don't forget to schedule some ME time as you deserve it.  Treat yourself to a pedicure...That always makes me feel better.  Have you decided about aftercare yet?  You really need a plan in place.  Being stressed and exhausted is a huge trigger for relapse.
Nip it in the bud by getting some real world support.  You've fought hard for your well earned clean time and freedom- protect it at all costs.
xoxoxoxo
Lu
1264367 tn?1408104163
Congrats! I can relate to the caffeine too. I have stomach issues and GERD, so I can not drink coffee anymore. Sad because it's the one thing I enjoy since I became sober. (Still one methadone maintenance, but Detoxing 5mg/wk). Keep up the great work! You're going great!!
Avatar universal
Way to go!!!!!!
I was hoping to see a victory post from you.  3 weeks!  Way to go.  Yeah...today is day 27.  No worries about posting while sleepy.  It's awesome it was one of the first things u thot of when u woke up.  I'm doing a "Tiger Woods victory fist pump" for U!!  You r doing GREAT.  Awesome!
9880688 tn?1414115647
Oh my dear friend...I'm SO sorry you still haven't slept.  You need some sleep badly.  I love your idea but I had to give up luxuries like pedicures when hubby had to quit work due to illness.  We are on such a tight budget you would not believe it.  As far as the aftercare...We only have 2 NA meetings in my area per month...I've been to the first one...second one is next week.  Outside of that I'm using this site as a form of aftercare also and church.

Try to get some rest....I wonder if you went and got a good massage if that would help????
9880688 tn?1414115647
Thanks hun!  Hope you are doing that pump for yourself too...I would but my shoulders would really, really complain if I did so I will have to do the old-fashioned finger snap/hand clapping :-)
8976007 tn?1413330650
congrats.  you sound so much better.
i totally get the health issues due to stress.  have you been losing your hair too??  mine seems to have slowed down since taking vitamins, but still lose more than normal.
hope you feel better.  exercise and vitamins a MUST
9880688 tn?1414115647
Hi Jinx...I'm not losing my hair yet...but I've been using that Pantene hair breakage shampoo for a few years so maybe that's helping.  I'm having actual physical symptoms like IBS, UTI's and other stuff...he said they are all related to the stress and exhaustion...so I'm trying to take it easy, relax, sleep...dance when I clean (used to love doing that)...work and relax some more.  Lots of vitamins...exercise when my body lets me...you know the routine :-)  
Avatar universal
Hi  well I have been watching you from the side lines congrat on 26 days you off to a good start I know I beet this drum a lot but it is time to shore up you clean time with some form of aftercare if it works for a old dope fiend like me it will work for you I have tryed a lot of differt things but N/A has alowed me to grow it is a great progam and those that come to meetings tend to stay clean google N/A meetings in your area this is a step every addict should make keep pushing forward put as much time in your recovery as you did using and watch your life turn around......................Gnarly..................................
9880688 tn?1414115647
I appreciate your advice...I truly do but as I've said before I live in a very small area...we really only have 2 meetings for the 3 towns...that's it!  I would have to drive an hour each way to the city to make more meetings and I can't afford to do it...not just in gas money but in my poor old beater car.  It is not going to take a lot of trips for it to crash and burn.  I also cannot leave my husband alone for 3 or 4 hours at a time.  At least not right now.

I'm doing the best I can.....2 meetings a month...a sponsor...church support and family support.  If I could do more I would but I can't so please quit beating the bush (everyone keeps telling me more meetings, more meetings).  I truly would if they were available.  Before anything else is said...NA/AA meeting same place same time twice a month (I tried that route also).
Avatar universal
hey purrfect Krazy, I get what saying about meetings,sometimes when you live in a small town they just don't have them that often. I think what you are doing,church,MH,family and friends is awesome. Especially church,i started going back to church and I think that has helped me the most besides this site of course,which is really wonderful. I had stopped going to church after I lost my mom 12 yrs ago,dont know why I just had a hard time going,probably cuz I always went with her,and without her I would get so emotional and cry. But anyway finally went back and I always feel so much better when I leave there. so with that note I think you are doing really great. Im hanging in there and plan to be off completely by the end of the month per my taper.   im starting to feel myself coming back,i love that feeling.  Just have to really stick to this and be done once and for all. God bless you
1926359 tn?1331588139
Hey that's awesome you know- you are doing what you can.
I didn't end up doing NA-  I did SMART recovery.  They have online meetings as well.  Check it out.  They are great for people like us with type A plus personalities- yes- I did just say US.
It takes one to know one.
Anyways, it's premise is all about empowerment and focuses on MANY aspects of holistic well being.  Stress management, pacing, boundaries.  All things I struggle with (and by the sounds of it, you too!  So look it up (:)
And yes, I totally need a massage but I'm broke too.  The only reason I get a pedi and mani is because one of my adult students trades me nails for acting lessons (:
So I guess I need to find a MT that wants to learn to act !!!
You're doing great.  Keep taking good loving care of yourself and the rest takes care of itself.
xoxoxoxox
Lu
9668401 tn?1405176684
Way way to go girl!!!! You got this so proud of you. Your on your way and life just keeps getting better :-) :-) :-) :-)
9880688 tn?1414115647
Thank you for your kind words and support.  I'm so glad that you are starting to feel the real you coming back :-)
9880688 tn?1414115647
Oh you are SO right...it does take one to know one.  Thanks for the suggestion.  61chevy also recommended me to a Christian online support group.  I'm just waiting to feel a wee bit better before I bite off any more.  I will check out the site he recommended and the one you recommended and see which one fits the best.  I may end up doing both...one sounds great for my spiritual well-being and yours is in the lines of what I want to find...something holistic to handle several aspects of my life...including that Type A personality :-D

I can't have the pedicures and such but I can have a massage occasionally.  A lovely lady a town up from us gave me a couple free when Joe was in the hospital and she has offered more.  I hesitate though....I don't like to take advantage.  Next time she needs some baked goodies for a party though I'll be happy to swap with her :-D  Bartering is such a wonderful thing.

Praying you will get some sleep tonight hun.

Hugz

4113881 tn?1415850276
Congrats on your clean time!
9880688 tn?1414115647
Thank you to everyone here....your support has meant the world for me and has saved me.  If I didn't respond to everyone personally I apologize...my fingers are getting tired and my shoulder is screaming that I need to quit typing for a while.  Will not be on a lot this weekend...going to the water tomorrow to spend time at the camper (thank goodness for my hubby's parents) and Sunday is a big day for my hubby...he's getting baptized....I'm SO happy for him :-)
Avatar universal
Congratulations on 21 days clean !!
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