1810386 tn?1405549577

24 hours since the last pill - Just a Shout out to me

Hi All,

Not really a questions but some of you may know me with my struggles with tramadol and codeine which collectively taken over the last 3-4 year of my life. I've detox many time last and been clean anywhere from a  few days to weeks to 6 months and a feww 3 months stints, but there was always a relapse.

This time I'm am so sick even before I started it can't really more any more worse than the last few years of being in a constant state of not clean but trying to detox and failing.

This time I believe that if my higher power wants me to be clean and live another day, week and years more they will guide me through the next physically rough days I'm going to have and then help me the following weeks.

I wanna this but I'm putting my faith in my higher power to direct me to where I need to be... GOD WILLING I WILL BE A SOBER MAN IN JULY.

I'll be seeing my family next weekend and it would be great to see them while I'm clean.

any helpful comments or such are more than welcomed, tough love more than welcomed, as I need to suck it up a bit as I'm actually very lucky with what I have in life.

Rant over thanks Love ya all :P
7 Responses
1926359 tn?1331588139
Sounds like you're ready.  I am excited for you.  My best words of advice;
Surrender to the process and always keep the end game in sight- the return of your authentic self and FREEDOM from the shackles of pills.
Have a plan and stick to it.
Sever connections, tell as many people as you can to involve them in your fight (like your foot soldiers) and get your butt into aftercare ASAP.
Treat yourself with compassion, kindness and respect.
Do these things and not only will you Survive but soon you will Thrive.
It is time for you to be the man you know you can be.
You deserve this.
Avatar universal
hi there ...

im new here but the tramadol hits home with me , i have been on and off this evil drugs since 2001and i feel like it's ruined, helped, taken over my life, i really don't know ... it's amazing how addiction and the mind work, into fooling you about what you think you need to get through the day, my thoughts and support are with you... ive done things the silly way, like dumping them all and  thinking i can do it , its not a big deal but i have been wrong on so many levels that i wanted to take my own life on more then one occasion, when i had a real down time , my doctor thought it was a good idea to put me on more meds, solphidine , xanax and Zimovane so now i have a problem with these, even tho i try and fool myself into thinking i havent, the old, if i just take 2 for this and two for that, ill be able to do things better and wont feel so self concious , it's a visous circle ...
be good to yourself x
8323481 tn?1405705654
It sounds like you really want to surrender this demon to your Higher Power.  I can't fight it myself, I don't have that power, so every day I hand my addiction over to my Higher Power, and ask for strength just for the day.  I ask for help in the morning, and I say thanks at night.
This works for me.....also....I like to visualize myself clean, strong, clear, and healthy.  (financially healthy too!! lol)
You can be the man you want to be,,,,,it is YOUR choice!  
Be gentle...
3197167 tn?1348968606
Welcome back.....my question is....what did you NOT do all the other times you quit that you are going ARE going to do this time?

You've been around long enough to know if you have access to pills, hang with the same friends and go the same places, hide your addiction and have no accountability, and don't get actively involved in some form of aftercare that your are 99.9% guaranteed to relapse each and every time.

So, since I don't know what you have or have not done in the past....thought I'd ask what is going to make this time different?

Faith is necessary, yes.....but it will never take the place of the footwork.
1235186 tn?1549257619
hey huni as you have witnessed the addiction will continue to grow and progress.
the detoxes will continue to harder and harder.
I know how much harder it is for you because you don't need a dealer, you have access through the chemist for the codeine.
but are you getting the tramadol from a doctor or the street?

hun I don't know if you have told your secret to your partner or not, but we have talked about how important it is for accountability and support.
counseling, meetings, church you need to get as much support as possible.
you need to get to the bottom of why you continue to use.

I am proud of you for not giving up on yourself or your sobriety.
ryan please surrender yourself to your recovery, yes it is more important than your job at this point.
have you given any more thought to going to a rehab?
your desire to be clean has to be stronger than your desire to use.

I am so sorry that you have struggled for so long.
congrats on your 24 hours.
never stop trying.
much love,
sending prayers for hope and healing,
Avatar universal
Ryan, you have been one of my favs, because you are so determined and constantly fight. And your my neighbour lol!!
Im so glad to hear your thoughts, which are very comforting.
Stay with us Ryan, we are confident you will see this through to the end.
Much love xoxo
Avatar universal
Oh, congratulations on almost 48 hours!!!
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