33 days but depressed

[azulito]

Hello,
Today im at 33 days clean from oxcodone. Iv posted here alot wihin 33 days and everyone here has given me hope and support. Thank you.
Im posting today because I feel depressed. I think its just depression because Im not sad about any particular thing. Its like ; I dont want to be at work, I dont want to live every day the same, I just want to lay down and not move.
I have had serious urges today but I feel like this depression is the beginning of a "prelapse". It may be the crap weather. I am going to a meeting tonight, so hopefullly this will help. But in the meantime this *****.
Does anyone else deal with depression after w/d.? How do you manage it? Anything helps. Thank you.

[jifmoc]

Hey, thank you for this topic!!! I was feeling exactly that way yesterday and the day before and I'm at 35 days. I asked my sponsor what I should do when those feelings hit, and she said, talk about it. Call her, call others in program, go to meeting etc. When you can't go to a meeting asap? Do what you did! You brought it up. You didn't let it linger. And it helps me to hear it. For me, when people w/ less time say "things are great!", I don't relate to that. I relate 100% to what you said.

Also, I quit over a year ago, but didn't do any aftercare. I felt the way you described constantly. And I just eventually kept relapsing. For whatever reason, I found my way into the rooms and I don't feel that "blah" nearly as often. I'm doing 90 in 90. I would share that at your meeting tonight, too. I share every day.  And when I share that I feel so yuck and this sux etc. people always come up to me and thank you for saying what they felt. So, give that a shot.

Also, one thing I have learned is that those are just feelings. We have been so afraid of our feelings, we've numbed them. But they are just feelings. They won't kill us. And they pass!

Thanks for posting that!

[bama88]

Yes yes yes... It's a common experience.  Our addict minds forgot how to produce chemicals serotonin and dopimine excuse spelling errors.  And depending on how long you've used depends on how long it may take to feel evened out again.  For me, a long time.  I felt like a flat piece of paper.  I had no good vibes on anything in the beginning.  I felt like blah... Meetings helped a lot.  Keep moving.  Exercise. Move. Do something.  Sit outside. Something.  If we move, our bodies produce endorphins and good chemicals.  Right now your body is still strung out on the medicine you were taking.  We can't jump start our selfs like a car battery. We are organic.  We need time to heal.  It takes 6 weeks to recover from an operation why should this be any different.

Your in recovery.

[lulu747]

Heya there!  So happy to hear you are still moving along and hitting those meetings!!  As for the depression- personally, I never felt it after w/d...But I did MASSIVE amounts of exercise.  I'm talking a 6 k hike and a 90 min hot yoga class- 6 days a week.  This was such a revelation to me after spending 6 years sick and in bed that I felt fantastic!!

Exercise, good nutrition, and a vigorous aftercare program are truly the main pillars of healing from the opiate abuse.  If you use this trifecta you WILL feel awesome.  Maybe not every day- because dude, it's LIFE- we all have bad days.  But most days.  Anyways, I always read on here and can relate to the statement that "My worst day clean is better than my best day using".
You are doing great!
Proud of you...
Lu

[motye51]

OMG....hells yeah I had a total depression.  Not like a "I want to kill myself" depression, but a total lethargic reaction and response to everything.  No motivation, no spunk, no interest in anything, everything seemed lifeless!  This is so totally normal, you just can't let it get the better of you!  Someone told me, when I felt like this, that it's the brain wanting to be stimulated by the drugs and since we're not using drugs anymore, it's messing with you.  I'm sure I didn't explain that correctly, but what I mean to say is ITS A FARSE!!!  It's your brain trying to convince you to put something in it! It's that addict brain!  Can you get to a meeting sooner than tonight, because a meeting will definately help with this situation!
Don't let you brain get the better of you!  You know your doing the right thing and if you stick it out, this too will start to subside!  I am at 6 1/2 mths free from 7 years of opiates and 7 years of suboxone and I PROMISE you, "this too shall pass!"  Just hang in there.....call someone from your meeting, talk it out!

[VICourageous]

Hello..The depression and no motivation along with low energy is very normal during this process..We unbalance those Happy Chems/Hormones in our brain by using and also block transmitters, hormones and receptors. SO as you are healing these things are balancing back and YOU are finally FEELING Again..This is a good thing. We have been in a numb land for so long that it is nice to feel the real feeling again..I know it is hard for you right now, but it will get better..
You do need to get out in the Sun, listen to some Music and do some kind of Exercise..These things right here bring up the Endorphins, Serotonin and much more in the Brain. Also a good Diet and Vit/Min will help boost the system up..
Congrats on 30 days..Just keep taking things in baby steps right now and do not get overwhelmed that things are not getting done, like they used too..That energy we used to have was synthetic..YOU will get your natural energy back soon. Just DO NOT use or give in right now..Trust the process as you will experience some very interesting stages as you continue to balance all out again.
Bless

[Lmr2424]

Hey congrats on the 30 days. That's awesome. About the depression I found that I was mourning my drug of choice. It does get easier. I know you've probably heard that a thousand times,  but it's true. I think you said you were heading to a meeting tonight. That's great!  Just talk about it. Tell on yourself as they say. Maybe you'll get more feedback that will be more useful to you. Hang in there and againccongratulations, will be thinking about you and all best wishes, Lisa

[Pjtwenty]

Hey. Awesome job on your 30+ days.  I'm about a month ahead of you and through I'm so much better clean than using I still have those days. It's normal. You gotta just keep doing things to improve your mood naturally and most importantly healthy ways. Excersise is the best in my opinion.
Keep going to those meetings they do work!  I think most importantly too is understanding it's ok to feel bad sometimes. It's life and sometimes it ***** but that doesn't mean we give up. That means we adjust, adapt and keep moving!

[LadySailor86]

Not yet but I'm only at 12 days. For me it's more of a boredom. I don't feel down but not like doing much either. My mood feels ok just not a lot of motivation to get stuff done. I'm told this passes. We are just not using to doing stuff with that kick to make the mindless work pass so easily and the hard word became easier. I'm sure we will adjust as our brains learn a different way.