Aa
35/m I think kinda fuzzy Methedone maintence 4 years 7 days without
In a nutshell Im a 35 year old well educated divorced/remarried father of four Moved to Louisiana to get help with drug and alchohol problem and save marriage (also plea bargain w/state to leave because of state vs me schd 2 fellony drug charges) wife went back after I was clean for a year and filed for divorce.She couldnt handle the loss of control she had on me still stayed sober and clean for another year after divorce.Wife has turnned my two kids againsted me every time I went back to see them some excuse as to why I cant see them or why they hate me. Ok getting off track louisiana not the place to recover did the drinking thing got a DWI did the drug thing Loratab 7.5 then 10 s then the oxy,s hit the streets(my drug charges were from wallgr@#$'s I was a store manager out of colledge filling my own scripts after hours) actually till I moved to Louisiana I didnt know you could or that there was a market for opiat's on the street..Well ten years later My second wife has stuck through two suicide attempts four treatment and 1 psych ward treatments and now Im unemployed trying to kick my worst addiction my methedone maintence program been on it for going on five years been trying to get my dose reduced and get off for two years now started at 35 up to 160 now down to 70 after 6 counslers (quiting or fired) sometimes 2 mos before I could tt someone request after request to reduce my dose (everytime I request a detox I fail a drug screen) I havent touched another drug since I started the program I even quit drinking never smoked pot ever, course they dont test for that..Anyways sitting here drinking for the first time in seven years cant handle the detox........Please help???
agree...my son worked at a methadone clinic...during a bad hurricane everyone left mobile and i went with him to work...being an rn they let me step in as it was a crisis....a business for sure...suboxone is too...making money off of peoples illness is not to me an admirable thing to do....to me it is an illness and why doctors or clinics charge u outrageous prices just to write a scrip/sub/or make u stand in line and give u he11 about lowering ur dose is beyond me...things need to change...my aa group is not like yours tho...no one talks about "those" days..we talk about now...NOW and what we are dealing with stress wise or how well we are doing...no one mentions drinking or drugging even if they did that week....it is about how we feel...not how we miss drugs or drinking..very spiritual for me
Thank you all for your support and advice I assure you I will take it all in and come up with a plan to beat this. If Ive learned anything throughout my many clean streaks its you have to have a good support team..Im not the AA and NA type dont get me wrong I believe in them for others and there are some good groups I just dont like to sit around and glorify the good old days when my addiction was "under controll" and having fun just makes my mouth water.Ive done the detox in treatment and alone at home sweating it out in the shower in the bed in the shower in the bed ect.I remember one treatment I detoxed in, the shower to my room was right there at the entrance to my room course no door on the room I didnt bother closing the curtain im laying in the floor in the buff for all to see moaning and hollering doubled over in pain with the shower running..Anyone that knows me knows how modest I am I dont wear shorts..Thats when I really saw what the "game" was doing to me..Still two 30 day well 28 now in house treatments later I quit drinking 100% quit the pills for awile started back on the pills pretty much under controll and under my second wifes radar then oxys hit the market year later im like WTF just happened to the last year of my life I was fixing to find something cheaper I was probably a few hours away from doing ice screw the cheap crystal If im going to do it im going to be safe about it (pretty sick thinking) I had done methedone a few times and really liked the way it took so little and just made me feel normal not high just normal it just wasnt that available I didnt know anything about the clinic untill a coworker (relapsing heroin addict) told me about it we dicided to do it together.when I called they were going to have me detoxed in a year guaranteed me I was doing the right thing sounded great After a year and 4 different counselors I was still waiting on that promise.Anybody thats been thru a clinic knows when your without an assigned counselor its near impossible to talk to someone.Well I had taken a week of work to be with my wife to have our son,the day after he was born Katrina Hit New Orleans our doctor wanted us to stay a couple more days because Including our hospital none of baton rouge or outside citys had power I was still going everyday to the clinic ( because of the incompetence and lack of counselors for me to phase up) all of the New Orleans Patients and surrounding counties oops "Parishes" the lines were half mile down the street in the sun 6 to 8 hour wait in line to dose Instead of taking care of there established "Patients" first thats when I realized it was more of a business than a treatment..
at least your not in Lawrenceburg if you sneeze there they up your dose as much as possible. they want you there as long as possible I heard once they are one of the biggest clinic in the US and my counselor there was younger than me and didnt have any experience with drug addiction except what she reads out of her training manuel their turn over rate is wose that a fast food resturant
I know the feeling. I have been in a methadone clinic here in Cincinnati for almost 3 years. I started my detox a few weeks ago and the withdraws got sot so bad that for the 1st time in 2 1/2 years i relapsed! Unbelieveable..... In my clinic if you sneeze wrong they put you on a very rapid detox. I got down from 70mg to 23 mg and made them stop. I had to go thru hell to stop it. I feel like i worked so hard for such a long time; that when i tried to do the right thing i fell on my face HARD!!!!!! Sorry for what you are going thru & i wish i had an answer for you! Now my new fear is will i ever be completely clean. God, what have i done to my self, my life and my family!! Email if you like. If anything works i promise to keep you informed!! Best wishes, good luck, and God Bless sweetie!!!
Keep posting here and stay in touch. No problem if you wish to PM me. Give serious thought to telling the family and getting more support. You could just quit the stuff with some advice and support. Its no fun but it wont kill you. If you taper as the clinic wishes you will be a customer (oops - patient) forever. does your clinic even do "blind" dosing? You tell them you want off and they dont tell you what your dose even is. They just drop a few mg's sporadically so you dont really know. Thats a thought....
keep me updated kinda doing a similar plan we could help each other through this along with everyone else so glad I found it if nothing else it gives me something to do that doesnt require physical energy and most importantly you are not alone in a black hole with no one to catch you on "Those" days
My Clinic also offers Sub detox only after Ive tapered down to 30 mg Its twice the price and If Ive had this much trouble getting down to 70 after 2 years how long are they going to have a leash on me now.I went to talk to my counsler # 8 (ive been an addict and at that clinic alot longer than she has been "Helping" people)I asked her about the sub she actually told me off the record they train her to keep us comming back In the past 2 mos I have signed 8 request to have my dose reduced 5mg week like I did last time when I tapered down from 160 to 70 I prefer it in the cooler mos I have a prob with the high humidity down here in the south being from up north granted we did have a little thunderstorm called Gustav (ive never seen such organized chaos well since Katrina} I couldnt make it for 4 days the doctor (non english speaking pediatrician by day) cut my dose down to 28mg I was actually ok with that. I asked to stay at that dose, filed the paperwork, I was going once a week I was at the highest phase but I chose once a week rather than twice a mos (the temptation of two weeks of methedone in my possesion not good for me) well they took my takeouts away making me come everyday,Ive failed two UA (havent touched anything) refused to keep me at 28 now im back up to 70 against my will Im going back sat and raising hell Ive already been escorted out twice by the security for this same **** Ive played the game for awhile and its time to get out I want out I'm tired worn out and cant go any further tied down to an addiction. Anyways talking to other addicts does help and thank you for the advice and comments thanks for letting me share..
If you are planning on doing a taper so the wife and kids dont know - you have a hard project ahead of you. Not impossible though. Please read as much as you possibly can stand about this. Much info on the forum and even more throughout the net. You must be informed of all aspects so you may make an intelligent decision. Dont think you can taper so far that the family doesnt know. The final drop from a couple mg's to zero is as bad as a drop from 25mg to zero. Keep posting here - many good people with experience and only a desire to help.....and they have been where you are right now. Best of luck to you ---
just wanted to lend u support...sounds like drugs and addiction have done enough damage in your life..and I am glad you want it back..what u r trying to do is do-able and people do it often...some just do not swallow the whole dose at the clinic as it is ture they make it hard to taper at the clinics...and sub is another option being that u can go to a Doctors office and get it..but expensive...it seeems from my research on sub that many of the doctors are shady characters...dostors who arent very reputable and the extra money sub brings in is the main reason they do it...most wont file it on insurance so it is money up front...example..a phsychiatrist here with a small practice got his sub license...245 bux for the eval..then 300 bux for the fisrts scrip..then 300 bux a month for 4 months then 200 a month for maintenence...just an example and he could care less about helping people..my friend goes to him...both are addicting but if ur goal is to quit all together..i can see how sub could help if u get ur dose down to the 20-30 mg they require to begin sub therapy...21 days is the cut off for sub use to avoid addiction / not always the case as everyone is different...21 days may not cover a methadone wd completely...if u used it sparingly..suffered a little u could avoid addiction..but it would cost 500-600 bux to get on it then whatever the scrip costs u with or without insurance..i guess this is why people get them off the streets..dont know...but a slow taper off methadone will work...if u r ready...keep posting
you are going to need some help then its near impossible to do it on your own with the pills in your hands tooooooooooo much temptation!!!
I want to taper because Im scared to death of these horrible effects and because I dont want my wife and children to see it.
also dont be sorry about going on & on thats what we are here for we wnt to know your story and try to help
I know all about the clinics and their "help" I had to quit going for 3 day a couple times to get them to lower my dose the one I was at lower you dose if you missed 3 days in a row other than that they refused to lower it more than I mg a week my highest dose was 150mg so if i did what they wanted I would be there for life!!! so are you still at the clinic and do you want to taper some or just go c/t
Sub and meth are the same only in that they are both used for opiate detox. And you are exactly what the profile for sub therapy indicates for treatment. I cant endorse this - BUT some have gone back to their DOC (hydro?) and then either tapered or cold turkey'd the DOC. That should give you an idea of how powerful the stuff is. If I am adding things up correctly you were just at the beginning of sub therapy. It hasnt been around that long. And we still dont know enough about it yet! The major issue here is that you want this. Not ordered by the courts or given an ultimatum by family. That is what will make you a winner this time around. Whether you choose to go cold or try sub you are making the calls yourself here. And you desire to get it done. Lots of great information and people resources here. And positive reinforcement. All of those things make a huge difference in the outcome of your efforts - - and I wish you the best in all things ......... PM me if you wish to chat - no problem there. - - - eagle
They Informed me sub and then handed me a book that said "sub" was the same exact thing as Methedone and informed me it wasnt for me...Nice hu??
Sorry for the on and on about nothing its just Ive been thru so many Programs and Im tired of playing the game when I started the MMP they seemed to want to help and Prommised me everything without giving up anything I believed them till I tried to detox a couple years ago 160 down to 70 in two years cmon WTF? They have me (exuse the expression) by the balls!! If I could market there (treat me like a dog but I will be back tommorow marketing scheme) I would be the richest Buisn Admin asociate degree holder in the world..
I am familiar with the clinics. Somethings out of place when you may escalate your dose at will, but can only go down a few mg's a month. That approach does keep you around, though. I dont do this often - but it sounds to me like you may be a good candidate for sub.....do not approach sub as a maintenance medication. 2-4 weeks max. is all you should need. Do your homework. Methadone is one hard cookie to get off. Sub is as hard so you do not want it for very long. Just enough to bypass the worst of the methadone withdrawal. If you have an adequate amount of time with few obligations you can kick meth cold turkey. I did it - and several others on the forum also did. Its a long hard process but it can be done. A taper isnt the best way to approach methadone. It just doesnt act like the other pain meds. Sadinmichigan has great journal entries about methadone -- read those at least. Knowledge is power when dealing with this stuff. And you can never have too much education... eagle
please dont drink it will make you feel worse! are you still in the clinic(evil bastards) if so do you have a plan to taper or go cold turkey.... regardless of what your clinic says what do you think is best for you when I know what you think I can try to help
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Addiction: Substance Abuse Community
Is treating glaucoma with marijuana all hype, or can hemp actually help?
If you think marijuana has no ill effects on your health, this article from Missouri Medicine may make you think again.
Julia Aharonov, DO, reveals the quickest way to beat drug withdrawal.
Tricks to help you quit for good.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
