I need you, please... about to CT?

[DarkEyedCreature]

Hey everyone. I really need to hear something from someone. I am a mommy of young children(twins), and I have been hooked on percs for a while now. I felt hooked just on 15mg a day, but I just had surgery a month ago and now I am out of control. I have been for over a year now, but the surgery put me somewhere I dont want to be. I have tried to quit so many times, and always went back. Now, I am going to run out of my medication early, and I am faced with trying to taper or just CT... tapering is a nightmare for me. I have no will-power, and I start HATING the person who holds my drugs for me. I can down 25mg of oxy now and barely feel anything ... I am probabaly averaging about 60-70mg a day right now, and I am getting CUT OFF... I need some insight from someone who was on a similar or higher dosage. Can I just CT? I have to take care of my children, and this drug has stripped me of my dignity. I used to feel beautiful and good about myself, now, I feel like everyone hates me and looks down on me -- that I am worthless... someone help me. What's it feel like once you go through WD and find yourself clean?

[jj0811]

you CAN ct, im 17, and was taking 30-100mg of roxicet a day, allong with other various drugs on top of that. im on day 5 clean. if i can do it, a mother, of children, with everything to loose, can do it. I have faith. Go admit to your doctor your addicted, get off the drugs, stay off them with support from friends family and this forum, and beat this addiction, for you, and your children. you CAN do it.

[cathy7871]

I could not quit ct either, if I knew I had some pills left. Either finish them or flush them. You can do this. Do you have family or friends for support?   I keep thinking I dont, but I do beleive deep down if they knew about me, they would step up and be there. I am determined to do this the first time and I know I will. You are a mom like me and you need to be there for your babies. My baby is 5yrs old and all of her milestones are almost a blurr to me cause I have been living in a drug induced fog for so many years. Please...quit.  I have lived through cancer twice and severe endometrios .Make that first step for yourself and the next one for your babies. If you need to talk let me know.

[quitinoxys]

No you are not the only one. Tapering takes a great deal of patients and restraint. Even if you taper you will still feel some w/d's albeit minor but still some. There is no quick cure for w/d so if you want to get clean now make a plan and pick a day that you will start. Get your doctor involved as you would be surprised how compassionate some are. See if anyone can help you with the kids for at least 3-5 days. Get the supplements needed for the Thomas Recipe and/or the Amino Acid protocol. The last step just go for it [cold turkey] you can do it as many of us here have. You will thank yourself so much when you have your life back Also before you sstart c/t flush the remaining pills as they will huant you day and night. I am pulling for you and will pray for you. God Bless---Rick  

[DarkEyedCreature]

Thanks so much to everyone. I still have some pills left, but I am getting sick of them!!! They are evil. Am I the only one not able to taper?

Thanks to everyone for the support!!

[quitinoxys]

Darkeyed---I went c/t off 240 mgs/day oxys and went through w/d for about 3-5 days. It will make you feel like you have to worst flu you ever had in your life. Also sleep is hard to come by, but if you use the Thomas Recipe and/or the Amino Acid protocol (both found at the bottom of the forum page) they will help you some. For sleep I used chamomile tea and melatonin herbal remedies, which worked for me. Stay nourished (get some ensure or whey protein drinks) Try to get some exercise as it will make you feel better Do you have anyone to help you with the kids? As if you can get someone to help you it would help a great deal.

You should still feel beautiful and  good about yourself as you are trying to get your life back and that says volumes about you. You need to realize that it's addictions ugly head that is making you feel your not. Also you are not worthless you have a disease [addiction] and you need to get better. I will pray for you and ask God to look over you and your children and I know you can and will make it through this. One last thing after you get through w/d please get aftercare as it make the difference between success in recovery and relapse. I wish you luck and I am pulling for you. God Bless---Rick

[koonamen]

you can for sure go cold turkey... if you want it you will do it. i quit with substantially higher doses. have an open mind and keep on the positive side of life..

[worried878]

you are not worthless!  You have a problem...i thing addiction is a disease...u just gotta get well

The thomas recipe in the health pages is a great guide..meetings and exercise help too
CT is very do-able at ur dose...pick a day, cut off supply and get it done!

Keep us posted and good luck

[sudie58]

hi, the reply me 1025 gave you was a good one, i went through a ct withdrawal  and it was pretty tough , but most definately worth it to get my life back.  if youve tried before you will probably know the sort of symptoms you can expect, such as difficulty sleeping, sweats, shakiness , restless legs , limb pain and so on. the first 2/5 days were the worst for me, physically anyway, depression is another sympton.  days 8/9 it started to feel quite a bit better and strengthened my resolve to see it through, plenty of fluids is important and also immodium, for any stomache cramps. have you seen your dr. about it? and if you can get some help from friends/family with your little ones , that would be good.
i really wish you well, and you can do it, your not worthless and you will get your life back.             take care  sudie.

[Me1025]

I'm sorry, I spoke out of turn cause I really have no idea what its like going through withdrawals and being clean, I need to read more carefully so I'm sure you know what WDs are like and the thomas recipe and the whole nine yards...anyways best of luck to you!

[Me1025]

Hi and welcome. I am on day 6 of CT from oxy's. I was taking between 160-300mg of oxycodone/day along with 40mg oxycontin. I have/had been on them for the past 9yrs dues to severe pelvic pain. Like you at first I was able to actually take them as prescribed and as time went on and towrds the end I was taking 20-30mg every 2-4hrs. I had absolutely no control and like you would have never benn able to taper down so I flushed my pills 6 days ago and here we are. I can very much relate to your feelings of worthless, feeling like everyone is looking down on you, judging and I feel the oxy's amplify those feelings by 100.

Going through WD's is no fun, I won't lie but I don't want to scare you from doing it either. For me personally is was hell and that's putting it mildly. But thanks to the people and the endless encouragement and support from the people here I made it through this far, but each day, each minute seems like a battle during WD's. I have heard many people say tapering is less uncomfortable, but for me I didn't have the ability to just take 1 or 2 so I went the CT route. If you follow the Thomas recipe that is found on this site that helps to. But really prepare yourself psychologically for this, because its both in your head and body.

When are you thinking of doing this? Do you have help with your kids? For me the first 4 days left me basically unavailabe to the world but everyone is different I guess. You will get numerous posts from people who have been sober much, much longer than me and they will really be able to guide you, support you through this.

I wish you the best of luck and congragulations on the decision to take your life back! You are a precious person, we all are and you can see as I did that it is possible to take your life back from this horrible addiction! I am up and on this site all the time if you need to vent or anything at all! God Bless!!