486 days clean but

[butch798]

i am going to surgery on sept 30th.it will be a 5 disc laminoplasty.i fought so hard to get here and now i got to be on drugs again .i am scared of the surgery and they say it is very painfull but how am i going to stop taking the pills after being on them for 6 weeks?i really wanted to see that 500 days but it aint going to happen.will i be able to just stop?last time i went threw withdrawal i didnt eat or sleep for 14 days but that was after 3 years of use.i was so sick .now i am going to be recovering from surgery and then have to stop.will my addicted mind say no keep taken them?i am so scared.

[10356]

Greetings Butch.
Well you should be on the mend as I type this !! I pray the surgery went well and that you are resting comfortably. I'm very Proud of you Butch You prepared yourself physically and emotionally for this surgery I believe you are going to come out of it just fine. I hope you are not in too much pain and know many of us have you in our Prayers.. warm and gentle hugs, lesa

[pinkgirl73]

Butch u will do great.  u did it before and this time u have almost 500 days of experience under ur belt!  and u have so much support here on this sight and in ur life at home.  ur an inspiration to me!  

[butch798]

its 3 o clock i am leaving in an hour .i just read your story and you are a hero to raise your family with all that pain and hardaches.it really means a lot that you would take time out to pray for me 8 till 11 i will be under the knife.to all have cared so much for me i am greatful beyond words.i am not scared i am at peace .i didnt think i could get there 2 weeks  ago but with the out pouring of love from you people i made it.whatever happens i am ready.i love you .may god be with you all

[pinkgirl73]

saying prayers for u during ur surgery!  .best of luck!  you will do great!

[Ejm7263]

Amazing, you didn't lose anything.
Actually you showed us what can be done.
If we live long enough we'll all face this situation.

[butch798]

thanks for your support.congradulations on your upcoming wedding and your long sobriety .may you make each other as happy as my wife has made me.funny story.the hospital called today with instructions.they told me  not to bring any valuables to the hospital.i told them i am not leaving my wife home she is the only thing i have that is valuable.

[butch798]

i was told the surgery i am getting is the most painfull .sorry to hear you is just as bad.when i used to get things done they used to say this is gone hurt a little and it hurt a lot .i never heard them say its gone hurt a lot but this time they say its going to hurt a lot.but my choices are stay in denial or take the pain and chances or just wait till i cant walk anymore and cant take care of myself.my family doesnt deserve that .the doc that doing me is a specialist in scoliosis and cervical maybe when i get better you mom could get an evaluation from him.i have been doing yoga and mediatation for over a year and it made all the difference.if you want go on line and look up fragrant heart .com.it is free and she has many mediatations .give it a try.if i dont speak to again before your surgery good luck and may god be with .art.ps we will go threw withdrawal together it will be easy this time our pains will be gone.i know they will

[dominosarah]

Wishing you all the best butch~

Update us when you can~

[lulu747]

Hey Butch-

Yes they discussed my pain management with me.  The reason I've kept my dose so low (40 mg hydro- they prescribed double that) is so that I can have proper pain control after surgery.  The last time I had surgery in 2010 I was on 150 mcg Fentanyl every 48 hrs PLUS 40-60 mg of hydro for breakthrough pain.  Just typing those numbers makes me shudder!!!!
They kept me in the hospital for 6 days last time because it was so hard to control my pain.  This time it should be 3 days at most (depending on how extensive the damage is in there)
I'm not worried about pain control.  I don't rely 100% on the meds- I do other pain management like pelvic floor PT as well as deep breathing, meditation and heat/ice.  My disease is supposed to be one of the most painful things in the world.  It completely destroys lives, and has almost destroyed mine in the past.  I've learned a lot about managing it as I do not want to be on drugs any longer than I have to be.

That's crazy that your spine is dying!!  Of course you MUST do the surgery.  I worry that my Mom is being so stubborn.  She has severe osteoarthritis and scoliosis and her spine is literally disintegrating.  She's lost 3 inches of height in the past 5 years.  She is a tough lady but she keeps her doctors visits secret from me, and my feeling is she could probably benefit from surgery.  But I can't interfere in her life any more than she can interfere in mine.  Ahhh Mother/Daughter relationships (:

I really will be sending up some prayers for you, a successful surgery, and a speedy recovery.
Keep us posted (:
Bless-
Lu

[clean_in_ks]

Wishing you a safe, successful surgery, Butch.  
And may your recovery time just fly by for you~

[butch798]

you too are doing great you are almost there 19 days is great by day 30 you will feel free of the drugs .you then have to start the real life of never going back and enjoying the drug free life enjoying the family and realizing where you have been and just enjoy the little things in life .the trees the flowers what ever makes you feel good.i have a bigger battle but its the same battle.fighting whatever gets in your way of good health and happiness.thanks for helping me get to this day .These last 2 weeks have been hard but i am ready for the pain and ready to get better.

[Ejm7263]

Lifting you up in prayer. GOD bless you abundantly. You are a blessing to me.
Your going to do great.

[butch798]

my songs for today .eye of the tiger and i will survive.the music helps so much

[butch798]

24 hours from now i will be halve way threw my operation .i am ready thank you all for your support.to anyone out there struggling with your withdrawal it will pass you are on you way to a better life .once you get threw withdrawal then your real work starts.i came back from the living dead and for a 485 days life has been great .i built a house for my son i loved my wife and i enjoyed every day .now a big bump in the road another challange.pain drugs rehap..i will survive .i will fight with every fiber of my body to get my life back.and i want all of you struggling with you withdrawals to do the same.

[butch798]

i had problems when i went into surgery doing 30 mg a day of oxxyi.when i woke the pain meds didnt work for me they just kept shooting me till after 3 shots i said i was ok but i wasnt.thats what made me get off the drugs .i hope that doesnt happen to you.did you discuss that with your doc?

[butch798]

they made me  fix a bedroom set put up a hanger for a 55in led flat screen.and build another shelf system for a closet and deliver the bedroom and set it up.i guess that is relaxing and enjoying the weekend.i am not going to be able to do it next weekend .had to do it this weekend.next weekend i will be home on my way to recovery.wow i am there.thank you so much keep up them prayers.i do believe they make all the difference.

[VICourageous]

I will be sending out some Prayers for a speedy Recovery..You will be just fine. I too just had a Heart Procedure done in my 23rd month. I told them about my Addiction and I think they did give me the Toradol in my IV. I know they offered a couple of hydo 5s and I said no after I did have a couple when i first got in. I did not want to start my Brain thinking back up. BUT it was all good and I was fine..YOU will come out even better then before..Here's wishing you the best!!!
Bless

[butch798]

i know you guys are all here for me and it makes me feel so good

[butch798]

they had mentioned that drug as i met with pain control management.i am going to the number one hospital in the country special surgery in manhatten.they kept me a whole to meet with there team they gave me a reqular doc a pain dc and blood work and complete work up.my wife was a nurse and she was impressed.they said diluded and morphine first then  iv tylenol and toridol.i am not getting the operation because of the pain.i am getting the operation to stop my spinal cord from dying.its is impinged and they are opening up the space without fusion.they say if i dont get it within a year they cant help me .i could be in a wheel chair and paralized.this will stop that. the pain mite go away that is not the reason for the surgery.i have heard stories of people waking up and all the pain is gone .others it comes back slowly.thanks lu for caring

[lulu747]

I meant I was 11 days away from surgery! (well 10 now)  Then I will do a slow taper off the pain meds I've been on since April.  Originally my surgery was supposed to be in June so I've been on them WAY longer than I wanted.  I've managed to keep my dosage relatively low so it shouldn't be bad.
I can't do the cold turkey thing as I have in the past because I can't risk throwing my body into shock.  The last time I stopped menstruating for a year and my goal is to get pregnant so that won't do.
In terms of YOUR surgery and back issues....My mom has similar issues and has never used an opiate.  She was too scared after seeing everything I've gone through.  She manages with NSAIDS (I can't take because of Crohn's) Lidocaine, and prescription strength Voltaren.  She also does a good stretching regime and yoga poses that I taught her.  She also refuses to have surgery because she has heard it can make the pain worse.  But that's her choice.
She is still in pain but she manages to work 5 days a week and live a pretty full life and she is 63.

As posted above Toradol is a WONDERFUL medication.  It is a powerful pain killer and completely non-addictive.  The problem is that it cannot be taken for more than 5 days because of the side effects.  I am not supposed to have NSAIDS at all, but when I am in such terrible pain I cannot stand it I go to the ER and request a shot of it.  It is better than the narcotics and I hate the feeling of IV narcotics.  I had a panic attack the last time they gave them to me.
This is my worry about my own surgery as I will be on IV narcotics for 3-4 days post op.
I would ask your doc about the Toradol as an option.  It truly is a great drug and I wish they could find a way to make one similar without the hardcore side effects.
Best wishes...
Lu

[Ejm7263]

Keep us posted we're there with you.

[Ejm7263]

You are helping me. I think your amazing & brave.

[petroglyph54]

Hey butch,

I guess you are convinced the surgery is your best option. You seem to be highly functional as far as building houses and running dozer. Have you went thru physical therapy? Just wondering.

Also the reason I fell compelled to post is have you spoke with your dr. or anesthesiologist about using toradol after surgery instead of a narcotic?

Its usually for iv use only but if you are in the hospital for a few days and don't want the narcotics along with tolerance build up that might help you escape a few days?  Good luck

[atthebeach]

Hey my friend. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Relax, enjoy your weekend. It is understandable to be anxious before
Surgery. Try not to let your fears ruin your weekend.
Cool about you and your son getting the same haircut,
Great minds think alike.
Update us as soon as you can,
Keep the faith,
Prayers and hugs,
Debbie