8 months pregnant and reason to worry about meconium testing

[K811]

First things first - I have screwed up, I know it, no excuses and please try to limit the judgement because I'm causing myself more then enough self judgement and hatred that more truly isn't necessary.  To try and sum this up without ranting - I have 7 years 'clean' from heroin.  In that time I have smoked weed during periods of that time and taking Klonopin here and there - I would be perscribed an anxiety medication but I've been on subutex since getting off the heroin and it's not allowed to be on both at the same time so I went with the sub's because it helped me get my life back and figured I could deal as well as possible with the anxiety in order to get off the heroin and stay off of it.  Long story short I JUST found out that I will be getting tested because I'm on subutex - meconium (which I didn't even know about or I wouldn't have done anything period, much less touched anything I wasn't supposed to during the pregnancy, if I had known they can now go back 5 month..)  Long story short I haven't smoked weed in over a month, but that still puts me at 6 1/2 months pregnant that I smoked until --- and what has me even more concerned is the fact that up until 7 1/2 months or so I would sparatically take a couple benzo's through the week - at the most 6 mg's in a week's time, in a good week none, but safe to say on average just let's go with the higher amount because I know the week, two weeks ago when i found out that they would be testing the babies first stool and how long it would go back I had taken six 1 mg benzo's throughout the course of that week, before being told this by my midwife.  Part of me feels like a complete idiot - the other part is angry because the only reason they're testing me is because of my past, the fact I was honest about my past, etc - if i went into the hospital I'm birthing at like anyone else they at most would have tested the babies urine, but most likely not even that - but because I'm on a legal medication thats given me my life back that's cause to test not just the urine which Id be ok all around if that were the case but the meconium which goes back so far I'm shaking just reading this.  I have a feeling from talking to people if I test + for just the THC I'll be able to leave with the baby and yes CPS will show up soon there after but good chance a lot won't be done to me over it - but I have very little to go on about what will happen if I test + for either just the benzo's or both those and the THC.  I have done some research and I know many meconium labs only do 7 panel test's - in which case benzo's aren't on there - but there's no way for me know which lab the hospital I'm going to sends the test out to.  So any advice at all on the subject - anyone who has had first hand experience themselves or works in the field - I'm desperate here - I'm due the first week in May and live in NYS - so time is of the essence.  Part of me just wants to deliver at home (but I'd never risk the baby in that manner) or drive to VT and have the baby there and not tell them my personal info until after I know if they do the meconium testing or not, and if they do make sure I get my hands on it first, I'm just at a loss.  I went through CPS horror the year I got clean from heroin and this is my first child since my oldest and I deserved 100% what I went through then and it saved my life and saved my son from a lifetime of living with a horrid addict --- and i know a drug is a drug is a drug but my life now, smoking on occasion and taking a xanax or klonopin when needed isn't the same as using IV heroin daily.  So I'm beggin you all out there -whoever you might be to share any knowledge, advice, tips, etc - because this baby and my family mean everything to me and if i had known I never would have touched anything - and when i found out that meconium testing existed and was going to be done i felt like the air had been pulled from my every cell.....so i'm terrified.  PLEASE HELP.  THANK YOU IN ADVANCE!!!

[jerry4664]

do your self a huge favor and just be honest with the OBGYN it will help set you free !! being upfront could help open doors that will be shut if you try and deceive .. what you have done in the past is just that past so just look ahead if you kicked the H the rest of life is ok .. best wishes

[atthebeach]

If I read this correct you have been using benzos for 7 1/2 months, some weeks 1 mg a day?
If that is the case you can't stop. You will have withdrawals and so will the baby. You were getting these from the street?
Time to be honest with yourself and your doctor.

[dominosarah]

The only way to get thru this safely is to be completely honest with your OB.  That way there will be no surprises.  I would also find an addiction counselor to talk with.  Life can get hectic with a baby and you want to be present both body and mind.  Let us know how things are going~

[motye51]

Well, the situation your in isn't a good one...that's for sure.  From what you wrote and what I read you don't have many options other than to be completely honest and just go with it...what's going to happen is going to happen.  I do NOT have experience with being pregnant and using...but I do have alot of experience using.  Quite honestly, I think it's time to get honest with yourself....If you would've known they were going to test the poop you wouldn't have used?  I was on the suboxone as well and as long as you have been also, so I'm kind of surprised to hear that they haven't been drug testing you periodically at the sub dr, or making you do some type of counseling or program?  Suboxone or subutext is not supposed to be life long....it's supposed to be short term until you can get a program of action in place. NOT JUDGING...b/c I was on them for 7 years as well, so I know where your at, but I thought that the drs got stricter on their programs is all.  

No, I wouldn't put weed smoking in the same catagory but I would say there's probably an issue with 6 benzo's in a week.  That doesn't sound like  the occasional usage for anxiety, you know what I mean?  IMO...the subs stopped you from the heroin, that's good, but a plan was supposed to be put in place at that time to figure out why your like this (like me, lol)...It doesn't look like that happened?

You will be in my thoughts, b/c I know how scared you must be right now...but at this point, honesty is your only way out...it won't be easy either, but I can't see that lying would get you anywhere in this case?

Totally keeping you in my prayers! Good luck to you!