9 DAYS CLean,, Feel so Fucken Empty

[toronto1]

9 Days clean, Walking the path but i feel really built of and crappy. I cant even explain. Just feel Down Today. I think i am going to go smoke a joint today. I have been clean off morphine for 9 days. I don't smoke much pot a couple times a year. I am just super board i bought a lotto ticket thinking ill win and be able to help everyone out. Now i understand i wont win because i don't deserve to. Anyways i am going to stay clean i bought a gym pass and i am going to start getting into shape. Im just babbling about ****.

c'ya

[justlikeyou]

i feel you, 60 days here and feel slow most of the time with little interest in anything :(

my guess is that things will get better , but very slowly.


hang in there....

[TrayCee]

this not encourageing

[fishmeal]

Day 9 is huge, I could never make 4 or 5 without formal detox... Have you gotten some clonidine and ativan??  that would help a lot!

[rooftrash]

I'm at 4 daysc/t.I have had that empty feeling too.I had a couple drinks over the last 2 days and i just feel worse.i was warned.Today i am going to an AA meeting.i need some support bad!My family are kinda enablers.my wife don't like me to drink but goes along with it cuz she knows how rotten i feel.If you need to talk im usually around.good luck and God Bless.Bruce

[awakan]

You know what I feel like you too being clean is boring...But I know that will change and already is now I am able to remember things, talk to people and sometimes make sense. And I don't have to worry about some chump doctor suddenly growing a conscience and saying I am worried about the narcotics you are taking I think you need to stop so I can't prescribe anything for you..Well gee whiz Doc whats different today from last week??? And all the other fun s**t that goes with using this c**p..But most importantly I know that in a month or two or six or twelve it will only be a memory..And life will be good again for me it means changing things about myself that were part of my addictive thinking..Otherwise I will regret being clean the rest of my life and that is no fun..Go to some meetings and be serious about your walk you will get their...a-wakan

[toronto1]

Well maby i was bitching too much, i odnt feel sick just mentaly shity. Im going to my buddys to watch the UFC fight after hearing your guys talk i feel much bette, Thanks for the replys they are great. Now that i think about it , it sucks to withdraw but its not that hard its so mental now is the hard part..

peace

[beachtowel]

It took me 13 months to start feeling normal again.....

my sleep took another couple but the way I found to sleep well is to keep myself very busy.......and tire myself out........

I still get cravings but there much easier to deal with plus I now know how to deal with them..........

Toronto did you think just by quitting using everything would be fine.......

It does not work that way........

Your fight has not yet begun, cravings will hit you very hard and you may even fail and fail again..........but look how you feel right now...........your addiction is what put you here..............

There is green grass on top of the hill but first you must climb the hill......

[tomanypills]

wow,it didnt take me long at all to feel normal again. the first week it was a meeting a day no matter how sick i was,then it was 90 meetings in 90 days but i dont think anyone who truley wants to stay clean does 90 in 90,,i did about 300 meetins in those 90 days and the obsession was lifted. i didnt even think about drugs for 5 years. what happened? back complications,pain meds,4th surgery and a failure to work my program.i was so involved in service that i neglected my own program and maybe , subconcsioly that was my plan. i do know that without my program i"d still be using so this time its about me cause if i cant fix myself then i cant help anyone. i"m a true example of "if you used dont say the program didnt work,,say you didnt work the program

[tzt2lady]

You are right where you are supposed to be.  Using was a full time job, so to speak.   Read about recovery.  Please do this, it will help so much in the long run.  You don't want to have to do this all over again some day.   I can only tell you this, I lived for 19 years completely drug and alcohol free and after the first 2 or 3 years, using rarely crossed my mind.   I mean imagine, I was a full on heroin addict and I had weeks go by where I never even thought about using.  Your mind and life eventually gets filled with other stuff.  

My first 90 days I had to keep busy.  I had to read anything I could get my hands on about recovery cuz getting clean is only part of the picture.  Staying that way is a whole other thing.   I surrounded myself with people who had the same goal by staying involved with a support group.  

I can only say what worked for me.  When I stopped doing some of these things to maintain my recovery and then had a back injury I ended up back on opiates.  My mind was full of what I'd learned over the decades but my body reacts to opiates mindlessly.  It craves more and could care less about what I "know".  

Hang in there and please believe that the feelings of emptiness will soon be gone.   I remember feeling so happy to be alive when I was about 4 months clean.  Up until then it was more of a rollercoaster ride with me just hanging on for dear life.

tzt

[tomanypills]

yep,,i actually thought that having been a heroin addict i was a "pro" so pills were small time,,no problem for a "pro",,i forgot to tell my mind and body though so they couldnt tell the diff and pills put me right where heroin did,,,,,,,,,,,,,on my knees