AA meeting question....

[tattooedgirl_]

My boyfriend is currently detoxing off of methadone, he was using heroin for about 4 months last year, and used the methadone to stop that. Recently, people have been telling me that he will NEVER, absolutely never stay clean if he doesn't go to meetings. I was wondering if anyone ever had any success not doing that?

[motye51]

I think its normal....if you want to play around in your own head! No, he shouldnt be shutting you out.  Not to sound like an ******* but is this something you really want??? Your so young....you dont have to accept this you know?

[Danny111]

There are people who've gotten sober and stayed that way without aftercare however doing it on your own definitely lowers your chances.  I guess you could say that would be doing it the hard way, or the hard headed way.  

Is he getting any type of counseling at all?  

[tattooedgirl_]

Nope, no counseling at all. He's been completely shutting me out and I don't know what to do. No matter how much I've needed him because of what I am going through, he hasn't been there. Is it normal to shut people out while going through these things?

[jifmoc]

Hey, there. I'm sorry you are still having a hard time. You need (need) to stick w/ your alanon meetings as you are still asking the same questions. You won't find any peace if you keep trying to figure out someone's disease.

[tattooedgirl_]

I just keep wracking my brain with all of the same questions over and over again. I'm definitely sticking with my meetings... I have one tomorrow morning.

[jifmoc]

Good. I'm glad you're going. Ask your friends at the meeting what to do for obsessive thoughts. I'll bet you'll get some good answers:)

[motye51]

I quit a 7 yr opiate addiction, then 7 yr suboxone addiction in Dec, 2014. It has been 2 years and 2 months since i've used ANY mind altering substance. I live my life with n/a.
The key being is that getting clean is the easy part (believe it or not, lol) staying clean is the hard part. AA and NA help you to learn how to live life without the use of drugs or alcohol. Life on lifes terms. Addicts are not used to dealing with reality correctly....this is what i've learned since going. I started with 90/90....90 meetings in 90 days....started reading the literature and met people just like me. At this point in my recovery i would have to say every part of my journey has been worth it. I am a wife, mother, grandmother, business owner.....a responsible, productive member of society......now!

[motye51]

And i credit that to N/A!

[tattooedgirl_]

I wish I knew how to get him to go. I'm so afraid he will relapse again. I keep trying to see if there's anyone, anyone at all that has conquered it all by themselves, just for any bit of hope. :(

[motye51]

If i may ask....how old are ya'll?

[tattooedgirl_]

I'm 24 and he's 28. I've never ever done any type of drug, I smoked weed when I was younger and that was it. This is all so new to me.

[motye51]

I ask b/c i find sometimes younger people new to recovery have a harder time seeing the bigger picture. I cant honestly say of the newer younger people i see in my meetings, that they stay. Im sure they're thinking like omg...i can never use again?
Sometimes they just have to go back out there until they are willing to try something different. I hear this all the time, "my best thinking got me here"....addicts dont think things through very well...very impulsive and impatient. Is there any particular reason he's not willing to try either fellowship? Did he have bad experience? Or is it more im clean and u can do this on my own attitude?

[tattooedgirl_]

I think he had a bad experience. He's said before that going to meetings just makes him want to use, and that when he did go, there were people there that were trying to sell drugs/still getting high and were court ordered to go to meetings. Which, honestly I believe with how it is around where we live. When he became clean the first time he did it completely on his own and was clean for over a year