ADDICTED TO HYDROS - C/T

[Reality_Check]

I have been addicted to Hydro 10 x 15 a day for long time. Recently people are noticing rare qualities about me...they are starting to wonder. I alienate myself from almost everyone - nobody knows but those n here, and cant right now. I am still in day 1 and already feeling horrible, i mean horrible! i have read many posts, but  now sure how long this phys part will end or get better. I have to work EVERYDAY till the weekend comes too, OMG! Cant stop yawning, stretching, stomach is trashed and my mind says make the call, I havent and dont want to - I want to be me again, its been 7 years now. I really  really want out. Can i get some advise, friendship or I will take whatever I can get. Is it normal to have tears running down your face for no apparent reason? I am a 40yom for god sakes! HELP. Cold Turkey is my only and I am scared like nobodys buisness-thank you

[anotherfinemess1]

I know what you're going through... I did it all by myself as well.  I COULDN'T confide in anyone, I had to just isolate myself and get myself through it: the anxiety, panic attacks, insomnia, unspeakable depression.  With the support of people on this forum, I did it.  You can too.  Keep posting, keep going, don't look back....

[leeisgettingclean]

You are sounding good, keep the good outlook and do what you have to!

[Reality_Check]

I am out of excuses trust me. I have used them all just as everyone else here. I saw am looking for a NA/AA meeting close by. However, I may wait till I do not feel so sick. Good, Bad or Ugly. I do have many reasons to stop, and not one to keep going on like I was anymore. I really hated who I had become/became. It hurts me to think of my son, and all the BS i must have fed him while doing it. I have always been a good dad, but know, I dont know - just *****. I'm wearing it for sure right now. When I get up in the morning I know I will only be starting Day 2. Clockwork -  I know exactly when where and so on. Perfect addict I guess. I have a lot of hope to do this, to make a real life with real feelings rather than being comfortably numb all the time. Sometimes I would sit and wonder how so many people had so much energy, so many things going on and I needed pills to get me to that point. Not right!! I hope I can count on some here for support also, as right now,until NA, I have no one to talk to about it, yet. God get me thru this!

[Peg626]

I know what you're going through! Congratulations on getting clean!!! I am on day 27 of quitting hydros. . . . was on them for ~6 years, of varying strengths & dosage throughout the day. I still remember my first week VERY well, And should I ever try to forget, I have a mood tracker that will remind me. Consider doing some type of tracker that will track your mood, you issues w/anxiety, fear, insomnia, appetite, etc. . . . It did me a LOT of good to see the tracker & know that although I may not feel it that much, every day DID get better. I agree w/the others regarding hot baths & exercise. I know you don't feel like it but both of those will make you feel better, if even for a few min. I remember looking @ the clock @ couldn't believe that it had only been 15 min. since I looked at it the last time. Time just seemed to crawl for the first 4 days. IT WILL GET BETTER!!!!! Like others have said, once you get past your first week (which seems like an eternity right now, I know) you WILL feel better. Post here often. Although I had the support of a very close friend of mine, those in my family & my husband were. .. . . let's just say I think they had their head stuck in the sand & didn't realize the gravity of the situation. I wouldn't have made it w/o that close friend, and this forum. This is the right place to be. We will root you on & support you the best we can. We've been there & we know, it *****. I wish you nothing but the best. I'm almost to day 30 & I feel GREAT!!!! GOOD LUCK!!!!

Peg

[IBKleen]

Meetingsare an excellent start and if you can get counseling in there...go for it!

Ya know, "normal" people don't get up every morning and reach for a pill to get their lives going. It is just us addicts that do that and if we don't get to the core issues and the reasons behind why we behave the way we do, we are doomed to repeat the behavior.

So that you don't make an excuse before you start, here you go:

http://portaltools.na.org/portaltools/MeetingLoc/

[leeisgettingclean]

I also agree 100% about aftercare, it is for me a must! Your withdrawals may at the time seem like the end of the world, reality is they are a new beginning to the world. There are some things you can do to help ease them a bit, but only time is going to get you past them. Each day you are clean after about day 3 IMO gets better. As early as you are in your recovery one monent at a time is prob all you can do, it will get soooo much better. Each day is putting another day between you and pills, and with each day you move foward you will start to understand what you must do after w/ds to stay clean, getting clean is only a small peice of the sulotion, staying clean and living right is a bigger part of it. I also had no option except cold turkey and for me it is the only way. I lack the ability to controll my using enough to be successfull at tapering. The great part of it all is that for what we were using (hydros) it is not NEAR as bad as what others go through, however i do understand that bad to an individual is only as bad as they know. Your physical w/ds prob be letting up a little at about day 4 and prob you be alot better between day 5-7. Anyways Good luck, have faith, and remember what you go through these nexy couple days, that might be what helps you stay clean

[Reality_Check]

I agree about aftercare. I have read to try and get thru the Physical part, then run for the NA AA then to deal with the everyday things that take us back, that about right? I can not do in house, like a rehab unit - NOT POSSIBLE. I am going to give his ALL i have and pray to god I get through this. Which appears to be one minute at a time - arg

[IBKleen]

I agree that you should get help. You cannot do this alone. Addiction is not just about the physical withdrawal but about the mental as well. You need help not just to GET clean, but to STAY clean.

The Wellbutrin may help with the depression but will not do anything for the withdrawal.

I hope you get the help you need.

[Reality_Check]

I find myself sitting here praying to god the next few days go by fast, find myself looking at the clock, wanna move - for my legs sake, just can't seem to manage. I also take Wellbuterin (Depression) will that help me at all?

[Reality_Check]

thanks guys  cause right now, im wearing it! big time and wont even start day 2 till tomorrow am. does having fast metabolism help by ridding out of body faster? i dont dont know - guess i will play flu card for a while. CANT tell anyone right now, long story. I am scared, worried cause i cant take time off to heal i have to work, hard. damn this is not good!

[salsinator]

Hi Reality - Congratulations for your wanting to get clean.  You are in the right place here.  Cold turkey from 150mg/day hydro habit is not going to be the most comfortable, but you should start to feel better after about 5-7 days - day 4 will be the worst.  The optimal way to quit without medical assistance it to taper, slowly reducing your dose until you get down to about 5 mg - then quitting.  I take it that you do not have that option.  Don't give up.  Do you have a family doctor that you can confide in and see?  If so, there are some medications such as clonidine that they can prescribe to help with he jitteryness.  ALso, check out the Thomas Recipe in the Health Pages - many have used this to help with the withdrawal.  I personally used a medically assisted detox - after experiencing w/d several other times before.  Get plenty of exercise, take hot baths or showers for the muscle pain, and imodium helps too.  The symptoms, including lots of tears are normal - let them flow.  I am about the same age as you and I know that you can do it.  Keep posting and keep moving forward - one day at a time.  All the best.

[vmpmom]

Hang  in there honey. It is going to be real tough for about 4-5 days. All of us are here for you and will help you. The physical part will get better soon, but the mental part will be the hardest. Just concentrate on the physical now and as soon as it starts to lessen then you can work on the mental. Staying off will in most cases be the hardest. Post often and read the posts of other it will really help. Keep letting us know how you are doing.


We are stronger than this!!!

[NorcoQueenoftheUniverse]

Oh honey I feel for you!  (I've BEEN THERE.;... DONE THAT!)  as I had a 3 year history of taking 8-10 Norco a day (for 2 back surgeries) and on July 30th.. I just went CT... as I had HAD IT with those darn pills controlling my life... I REALLY found it helpful when I told my husband and my Mom... (they have been a GREAT support system for me) and I did do a modified Thomas Receipe.. (without the Valium or Immodium)  I also found it helpful to drink ALOT of water AND... when I could muster up the energy... to take a walk...

As you will find out... SLEEP will be hard to come by for awhile and the standard RLS will be there too...  these things will eventualy stop but there will be times that you think they never will... You just have to give your mind and body a chance to heal... and it takes time...

Hang in there and KEEP POSTING.. because we are all out here for you with BIG HUGS & LOTS OF PRAYERS...

[CATUF]

What you're going through is nothing to go through alone.  You can be you again.  In fact, you can find a better you than you ever knew before.  But you can't do it alone.

Go get help.

I resisted getting help for too long.  In the end all my "secrets" came out anyway and I had pretty much destroyed everything I thought I was protecting by keeping secrets anyway.

CATUF
1555

[beatingthis]

It's going to thale about 7 days before you start to feel better. Its like the flu.
Get some Over the counter , something for the bathroom issue. I was on the same dossage as you fro 5 years.

Tears, yes all part of it. Post here often. There is a bunch of good advise and a great caring community.

You can do this. I promise it will get better.

Terry