I have been on stimulant medications since I was in the 2nd grade for my diagnosis of ADD. I am now a college freshman. A good 5 years ago, I began taking adderall, deciding it would be most effective in treating my tendency towards distraction (According to the doctor, there is no hyperactivity). My dosage is currently 90 mg, and has been such for approximately 1 1/2 years. I am instructed to take 60 mg in the morning, and another 30 in the evening.
Regretfully, I haven't exactly been faithful to this dosage lately. I began to gradually abuse the medication about 1 1/2 years ago, sometimes taking as much as 180 mg (but the most I've taken in a 3 hour sitting rarely or never exceeds 90 mg), and even experimenting with insufflation twice. I've tried several times to stop taking this medication, but never saw more than a week pass before I decided that I'm much better-off on the meds. In my struggle to end what has now become an addiction, I've been trying to find frightening adverse effects that my habits will have. I am now very frightened of my future.
What I'm wishing to know is the likelihood that any damage impairing my ability to function intellectually, and/or impairing my sanity, has been done, and whether or not such damage could be completely reversed if I were to discontinue all amphetamine usage within this next year. Also, I would love to hear any suggestions you may have regarding how I might better manage to maintain my academic pursuits in college during my withdrawal period. How can I lessen the exhaustion, depression, emotional volatility, etc. Thank you for your time, and I hope any responses given will be enlightening to others in similar circumstances.