Addiction...was the fear of withdrawal worse than the actual experience?

[worried878]

just wondering...i too was so afraid..pictured myself writhing around on the floor in pure agony!...ended up to be like a tummy flu with the runs, a mild headache, extreme fatigue and a depression episode after it was all over....my fear was way worse than what actually happened...i do know some had more horrible experiences...but all in all...do u think our fear and anticipation of the event is worse than the event itself?    not talking about the mental stuff that follows..not the mental part of this..speaking of the pure physical part of detox?  i know the mental part lingers and lingers..i had no idea when i detoxed that this part/the aftermath mentally would be the kicker/and that the "sick feeling of  detox" was the easy part

[ochooked]

Great question Worried ----  I think the anticipation is always greater than the actual event -- in almost everything.  Certainly was with me -- I feared the W/D process so much that I did something totally stupid - I went on Suboxone thinking that it would help me bypass the process.   I was wrong and paid for my mistake by suffering much harder and longer than had I just suffered through the W/D from the Oxy.  I read on this site posts from so many who, like me, are just petrified at the thought of having to go through W/D's.  So, my take is the fear is always the greatest thing to overcome.  Great question and it will be good to read the answers.

[ProdigalGirl]

Some people may be too anxious and or fearful of the past to recall this. I know my tapering from half my dose of oxys was enough to make me stay in bed unable to move except to hit the toilet.Depends on your DOC and your length of usage. For me after years of this poison in my body, I don't know if I could have done the full w/d thing. I was weak and went on sub. Tapering from 20-24 mg hasn't been harder than smoking cigarettes and quitting. So, off subject here...... for all you subbers the right mind set, a plan and will power will enable a quick taper. I went down from 20-24mgs I wish I could recall but I just took b/c my addict mind allowed me to take up to prescrbed dose which was 32mgs) but am down to 4mg in 7 days. YOU CAN DO IT!!! I have learned that it really is mind over matter. Our minds play tricks on us. It's a good thing we don't use all our brain capacity b/c we would be in deep doo doo.


Bottom line.... fear breads fear.... an awesome friend taught me that. You have to just go with the flow and deal with what comes at that time. Whatever comes..deal with it. The human body can take a severe beating and come back even stronger. Hope I don;t eat my words. Look at the men and women in Iraq and picture their daily routine. Does RLS, diarrhhea or insominia compare to those serving our country? Do they get a good night's sleep? Heck no.......... they sleep with one eye open. So if sleep aids prescribed or not don't help, picture yourself in their shoes. To end this post.. we can all do it with the help of this forum and the compassion and friends we have made on here. Thank you friends from Medhelp.

[ProdigalGirl]

How ya been ?

[ochooked]

Better than I ever thought I would in this life -- This being clean stuff is so good I wish I had done it 14 years ago --- to quote something I saw from a movie once "It's a Wonderful Life."  All the best ProdigalGirl

[dominosarah]

The anticipation for me was worse than the actual wd's.  I felt like i had the flu.  I didnt realize that the real issue came AFTER the wd's.  

[Mandapanda17]

agreed that the real issues come later, the physical goes away rather fast, and I was using a LOT for at least a year at the end... the mental part is bad, especially for people who already have panic/anxiety issues. So in closing, physical not as bad as I'd expected, mental far worse than I'd expected.  

[Mercedes175]

Regarding the menatl, can you explain what that means?  Just curious with pills.  I know what it ment for alchohol before I quit.  With alcohol compared to pills I didnt have any real physical w/drawals but listlessness and depression - which to me might as well read my life as long as I can remember...:).  So there was no physical to work through when I quit that drug but it was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life..took over 30years to finally do.  In the end, it was just "surrender"..kinda like pills I guess.  So the mental for that drug was always thinking about a nice cold one.  Alwasys saying,,"just one more"...and of course, with that one more, never being able to stop until after 6 or 7.  

So are you all talking about just wanting that relief from all your aches and pains as being the mental?  

[merrymaria]

i was very afraid of the wds especially going ct.  they were not as bad as i has assumed.  i never realized how the mental wds would get to me.  i just thought it was physical wds...didn t really think i d have mental wds...they were worse than the physical but somehow i made it through  

[10356]

Alcohol wd was definitely a mental battle for me Jeez you can go to the store an buy your poison.. It all was in my head as with the pain pills I just call in a refill all mental.. The wd process is what brings home the reality of how screwed up we are.. When it boils down to it the whole thing is mental.. As Drug Addicts Alcoholics when you think about it we are strong and determined individuals to go through the process.. I'm proud of everyone of us.. lesa

[worried878]

no...craving relief from aches and pains was not the mental part for me....more like how u described the mental aspect of alcohol cessation...wanting that feeling again..chasing the feeling...breaking a habit....also depression and lack of energy/motivation for me for a bit...having bouts of cravings cos u felt useless and forgetting all the reasons u quit...initially the excitement of quitting was enuf to keep me on track..with time that can fade and it just doesnt seem so great and you can falter and turn this into a ongoing painful mental problem if u dont have some kind of support or recovery plan..i think the human mind forgets painful experiences/or with time they seem less painful/probably a built in protection mechanism/but it is important to always remember the resaons we quit as with time they can fade

be safe and in no way want you to think this was dreadful..in fact it is a wonderful thing..just not easy for many

[Robin6298]

For me, my detox was a nightmare come true.  It was something I feared dearly, and that actual experience was much worse than what I imagined.  I tapered a long time before jumping off, and still went through almost two weeks of hell.  I lost 12lbs, which is alot considering I started at 95lbs.  Two ER visits, where they wanted to admit me.  Numerous bags of IV fluids, numerous meds.  I couldn't eat one bite, and had excruciating stomach pains/nausea the whole time,  whole body aches, everything smelled and tasted rotten, sweats, couldn't sleep, severe dehydration, etc etc.  I needed help to the bathroom, as I didn't have the strength to stand.  I ended up with several new physical problems as a result.  It was the most severe 'illness' I've ever had in my whole life.  

Fortunately, not many have such a severe physical detox.  Thank goodness.  I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.  As for the mental side of it, that has been very easy for me.  No cravings, no desire at all for the drug.  None.  My biggest issue for many months was lack of energy, and weakness.  I will be a year clean on the 21st, and I will never go back down that road again, ever.  Congrats to everyone on their clean time :)

[dominosarah]

Congrats on the one year coming up!!!!!  

[worried878]

That does sound like a nightmare..what was your drug of choice and daily dose?  and length of use?  I was at 80-100 mgs of hydros for 3-4 years....i am glad all that did not happen to me..i am sure if it did it would probnably for sure make cravings go away just remembering the whole nightmare

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

My experience was much more like Robins.....but I maintaned a solid use for a number of years before I finally stopped.......my experience was that morphine was the worst w/d for dehydration - I also got multiple bags of fluid for that one. But methadone still takes the prize for nastiness and "legs" - it never wants to let go..............

[flmagi]

I didn't fear the actual withdrawals, even though is was pure torture. I knew I would get threw it. But after 3 months clean and just barely starting to feel better, I was suffering from severe depression. Then I relapsed...for about 2 or 3 months. My biggest fear of going threw the withdrawals again was the time it took to feel even half normal. I couldn't afford that lose of time..at that time, so I got on the Sub.....am still on Sub. I know I will someday have to deal with the withdrawals from the Sub and the down time. When?... I don't know, someday.

[steveo30]

most definately,just that thought of running out was brutal.anticipation and knowing the inevitable i think can add to the torment GOOD POST

[Robin6298]

My DOC was Tylenol #4's.  (Tylenol w/codiene).  I took it for a back injury, for over 10 years.  8 tabs a day (prescribed dose), every day, for that time period.  Each tablet had 60 mg of codiene and 300 mg of Tylenol.  So, doing the math, it added up to quite a bit per day.  They also tried me on Hydros, but they bothered my stomach.  Last year, I found some stretching techniques that helped with my back pain alot.  So, I wanted off the med.  I no longer needed it. My Dr gave me a three month taper schedule, which I followed to the letter.  Despite all that, I went through detox hell when I finally stopped.  My best guess is that it was because I was on alot, for over a decade.  It was really in my system, and my body was very used to it.  It's an experience I will never forget.

Dominosarah...Thanks.  It's been a long, rough year, but it's all so worth it.  

[refusingbondage]

I cant sugarcoat - my withdrawal from suboxone was worse than I had ever imagined it would be.  The physical and mental was much worse than I had experienced in withdrawal from other opiates (Oxy, Perc, Vics) and totally unexpected.

[worried878]

yey...like most u probably thought sub wds was gonna be a breeze and it isnt for all...have heard a few say it was no problem really....most say the same as you tho...i also think time of use..like 10 years and such is much harder than people that have used a year or a few years...for me...i know the time period when i actually became physically addicted and it wasnt much time after that i quit...in july of 07 i had no pills..no way to get pills...and went a month without...and had nothing but some cravings here and there....then in november i ran out and tried to go a day and felt crappy..in february of 08 i quit..so perhaps that is the reason my wds were light..it took me a long time to become physically addicted compared to many...guess we are all different and that is why when people ask "what will the wds be like" it is almost impossible to tell really

[sway2]

for me YES! the fear and shame and all of that. but i sat my kids and hubby down and said i need your help right now and for the next few weeks. they were so proud of me for admitting everything and finally acting on it. best decision ever. good luck. blessed be, sway

[Avalancheblanche]

The withdrawals were much worse than the fear.  That is a good thing because I will never let myself go thru that again.

[Florida_Guy737]

HI...I just became analytical about the entire situation.  Knew the process would be rough but set goals for tapering and just went with it. Set goals for exercise, die, etc and went with that also.  The first 2-3 months were up and down but I became more determined the further I got away from the meds.  

All good...11 months tomorrow

[worried878]

seems as tho some had an awful experience with wd and some made it without alot of trauma...length of use and dose/plus drug of choice has a lot to do with this..plus personality i guess.....if u r planning on the worst then chances are u will experience the worst....i really do believe that planning and getting prepared for all of this helps...educating urself on what to expect and putting all the balls in u court to help u suceed can make all the difference for many

[morganave]

Congradulations!!!  You have work very hard to get where you are today.  My friend who died about 9 years ago from mainlineing coke, used to tell me that it was much harder to get off the pills than  the coke.  I thought he was lying to me so I would call the Dr and get him more pills.  During that time my DOC was coke, his was pills.  When I quit coke, the worse part was the dreams and cravings.  I thought I smelled crack being smoked all around me.  He was right, the w/d from the pills has been worse then the w/ds from the coke.  When my DOC was coke, I could never understand why he would want the pills over the coke.  Now I get it.