Advice Please.. My friend harasses me for my Suboxone!

[NJgirl79]

Hi Everyone,
Im new to MedHelp and have a problem I could advice and suggestions for...
I have been Herion free for well over a decade.I was on Methadone for 10+ yrs and switched to Suboxone about 8 months ago. My friend and her husband are addicted to Herion and Xanax. They were recently evicted from their home. They have kids and I feel bad. I try to help them has much as possible. Ive grown attached to their daughter and have taken her under my wing. Their daughter is good friends with my daughter. She sleeps at my house most of the time because her parents jump from hotel to motel. I feel really bad for her. Anyhow, my friend was really sick and withdrawling feom the pills and herion.. she wants to get clean from herion and the pills.. she says she wants to join the Suboxone program I go to and asked if id let her try a tiny piece of one before she joined the program. Against my better judgement I gave her a small piece. After trying she didnt join the program. Her daughter is old enough to notice these constant changes in her parenst behavior and that one day they are sick amd the next their not. I feel terrible for this child as well as her parents.
Now heres my problem.. My friend constantly comes over begging for my meds. Im constantly telling her no. Not only is it illegal but i would be taking from my own dose! Thats messing with my own sobriety. She even has health insurance that would cover the entire cost of her Suboxone prescription and itll cost her $75 a month to see my doctor. She just doesnt do it but begs for mine. Suggestions please.

[17mthssober275]

I was advised when I was in recovery to stay away from all active users, still to this day, over 3.5 yrs clean and sober, I put myself first, and never take on anyone elses addiction or problems. I am afraid for my sobriety. never want to go back, so I put myself first, as others can take care of their own problems, and I find it too darn hard to have any low class people around me at all, I have zero tolerance. There are clean, sober responsible people to associate with, otherwise I just bake, cook, garden, read, clean house, something productive and good, life is too short to waste any time on anything,except happiness, this is my point of view.

[dominosarah]

I wasnt debating what "clean" meant at all.  The comment had been made that every drug user cant stay clean so i pointed out that some can.

Congrats on 56 days!!

[pillguy]

I'm a supporter of what works for people, not a subjective view of what clean means.  Too many people have died from ODs who could have been saved with longterm suboxone treatment.  It has its downsides but harm reduction saves lives.

With that said, I'm an addict who used suboxone illicitly for a year, then for another year in an outpatient treatment program.  I recently jumped off suboxone at .25mg and have been "clean" for 56 days.

[dominosarah]

Many of us on here have racked up clean time without the use of anything.  We took the word "cant' out of our vocabulary and replaced it with "can".  Most of us are in some form of recovery care and we deal with the issues that drove us to the drugs in the first place.  Every single drug user CAN stay clean.

[NJgirl79]

Thank you all for your input and support.. I actually got to take a breathe knowing I have listeners. Its nice to have.
** I did make a decision... I took the advice and said that my dose was cut in half. She became angry and upset. But I think it worked!! Yay.. time will tell.

"IBKleen" asked the question (do I plan on staying on Suboxone or coming off). My answer: Stay on the Suboxone
Why? Well it works for me.. Every single person I know that is a drug user cant  stay clean. Even on Suboxone or Methadone they all still use! It totally works for me. I havent picked up one drug besides the methadone or Suboxone in a solid almost 12 yrs!! I cant say that for any single drug addict I know. I have absolutely no urges.. why? I dont know. The director at my clinic wants to do a study on me and also have me talk to other addicts there because the have so much clean time while on Methadone and Suboxone. Ive given all clean urines, swabs, blood work. I do my own thing.. I worry about my family my kids and myself. Until now, I usually dont even socialize with active using addicts because that keeps me sober. But now I have this couple thats really frustrating me.. hopefully I put an end to them. Im not about to screw up 12 yrs for them!

[vicki595]

Your friend doesn't want to get in a SUBOXONE program. She wants to use heroin and then beg you for sub when she's out of H.

You have to stop helping her, with the exception of caring for her daughter. She has a lot of nerve begging you like this but that's what the disease does.
The more you give in, the more you enable her.

Stick to your guns and keep saying NO! Lie if you have to. Tell her you don't have any and won't be getting a refill for several days. Tell her your dose has changed. Tell her anything but don't give her a thing!  I'd be afraid of these people. Desperation makes people do desperate things. Like stealing from friends!

You're going to have to be strong here. I'd be nervous even letting her in my house...

I feel horrible for the abuse and neglect that little girl is dealing with now. I'd be calling CPS and reporting the whole mess. But that's me. Any child abuse puts me over the edge and anytime I witness abuse, I intervene.

Be strong and be safe-

[dominosarah]

I commend you on taking in their child as she doesnt deserve the insanity created by her parents.  You need to put your foot down, maybe get a new phone number, change your locks etc to keep them out of your life and home.  This is creating a very stressful situation for you and you need to be the one to walk away.

[mlajl]

So sorry they stole from you. I'd not allow them back in your front door.. make them collect their daughter while standing outside.. out of all this, I'm feel so bad for the child

[IBKleen]

The scariest part of this whole thing is that you are associating with active heroin addicts. That is so very dangerous seeing how it is your DOC. Recovery can be selfish. It is all about YOU and saving your own ars. I know you care for the daughter..believe me I understand that but as youa re worried about her you are putting yourself in a real bad place. She is an active junkie. She will continue to ask and beg and cry until you put an end to it. As hard as it will be you need to make the decision to save yourself.

And if you don't mind my asking---do you plan to come off of the suboxone any time soon? Are you doing counseling? Meetings? At this point it is important for you to step up your recovery.

I don't know what more to say then, like I already said,  you have to make a decision. Keep posting and let us know what you decide to do.

[Krissy_123]

Yes it is ridiculous!! Why the heck won't they just go get started on their own sub program and get their sh¡t together? You need to take care of you and your family that's all. They're not your responsiblity. They're grown adults with a kid if their own. Addicts are liars and users and care about no one but them selves with in the throws of addiction. I know I was one for a 11 years up until 5 months ago. Keep strong love. Keep posting.

[NJgirl79]

Your absolutely right.. and its has happened. I had two days supply left.. I had to see my doctor in two days for a new script. I have decent size cash lockbox that I keep the entire script in.. but when I was down to the last few days of it I would keep the few days worth in a zip pouch with a little lock on it insdie my purse. One evening they stole the pouch with my two day supply in it.Not only was I sick but I have kids and my elderly gramma that I care for full time. Without me, my home cant function. Since that happened I dont budge for them. Of course they deny deny deny.. but ill never forget! Now it all stays in my big lockbox hidden. I just want them to except no for an answer. They have medical ins that would cover the entire cost of their script. Its just so ridiculous.

[Krissy_123]

If her parents lost their home I'm sure the daughter has an idea that something isn't right. You need to be tough. Call the authorities if need be. I know that *****,but I've had to do it to my own family members. Until they're clean they will use you for everything you've got. They have a child they need to go get help!! You can't do anything for them.

[NJgirl79]

I appreciate your honesty and advices.. it is a very difficult situation because my daughter and their daughter and best friends. The girls dont know the extent of this situation. Their daughter gets off the bus at my daughters bus stop.. so its every single day that I have to face her parents. And its every single day that they beg.. I say no and then they are literally pulling out of my driving while texting me a "different way" to beg or ask for my Suboxone. I couldnt have said it anymore clearer to them "No im sorry, I can not give you my Suboxone.I will be leaving myself short for my own dose and its illegal to give it to you". Thats exactly what ive said numerous times.Besides all that.. I was paying CASH for my Suboxone scripts for months up until a month ago.. its very expensive. Its almost $1,000 to outright buy my entire script! I was only able to buy myself a few at time. Its so hard to cut this couple off when I have to face them daily..

[Krissy_123]

What a sad situation. :( you're awesome for taking in their little girl,but you're 100% right. They are messing with your sobriety. What happens when one day they just come in and steal it after you don't give it to them. You're now screwed. You're an addict,so you know how our minds work. When were dope sick we will do anything to feel better. You need to say no more,and tell them if they want to keep their daughter to go get help.

[mlajl]

I do know one thing for sure..when u try to help others, some of the others will drive u crazy.. and for your own sanity. U need to get them out. I know u feel sorry for ur friend and kids. Believe me, been there. My feeling sorry for a couple friends got us in a mess. What I learned, is what u birth, u deal with, nurture etc. What ur friend births, she needs to deal with etc.. these are her problems she created them. She needs to deal with them not you. U have your own issues and problems and u are taking care if it.. don't add to it.. if she really wanted help, she would go get help, not beg for your meds.. learn what I had to learn the hard way.. do not let guilt determine what u do or don't do.. I finally had to tell the couple they had to leave, they started complaining, but what about my kids? As bad as it upset me, I told them I don't know, they are ur kids, your life, and your problems. And I sent them away.. they found others to move in with.. only to be tossed out again. They also have drug problems. It would be a better environment for your family, to remove the friends. Helping people when they are down climbing out, is one thing, they are in a stand still .. still using, still doing the same old same old.. u need to stop contributing to THEIR way of life and helping them continue.. you are not helping them any.. just helping them stand in the same Ole crap ..sorry about your friends.. I know how hard it is to watch them suffer at their own hands.. they will stop when THEY are ready.. I'm gonna tell u one more time "Don't let GUILT determine what you do or don't do"