You cant do this alone. Have you reached out to any aftercare help? Using is only a symptom of what you have going on here.
We hope that you return and let us know how you are doing. We want to support you.
No one is judging you. I know you have been battling this for a long time and it is time to try something different. Doing it your way isnt working. I want to see you finally be able to live a sober life. Are you getting any counseling?
I found the only way I could get a handle on my using was...
A Go on the methadone program to stop my opiate use...
B Move away from the City & everyone I knew to stop my speed use, that included both my parents... I still have a wee blow out here and there & for me personally that keeps me on the straight and narrow but I do realize that it's probably not the best way or safest way to go & hopefully one day illl be a straighty 180 too lol ..I just struggle sometimes after years of using, the chasing, the ups & downs, the drug dreams, anxeity... to find anything really thrilling or calming anymore... Hopefully this will change in time... But for now it's one day at a time and one moment at a time... Love & Light xx
Well.....unfortunately, I think the time for coddling is over? The time of looking for the easier, softer way is over. You know this and I know this. The only way your going to succeed is TO PUT EVERYTHING DOWN. There's no way around it. You obviously are not someone that can use successfully, neither am I. Some of us can't and we're called ADDICTS. Going from one drug to another, trying to slow down (but not quit), trying to control usage....these are ALL OBVIOUS CHARACTERISTICS OF AN ADDICT. Why are you so not willing to acknowledge this? Is there something about that word that you don't like? Some type of embarrassment that you're worried about? There is NO SHAME in being an addict....there is however shame in not doing anything about it.
I've seen people on this site tell you what you need to do.....you just choose not to do it. So in all honesty, it's on you. You know what you have to do......I KNOW YOU DO!
WE ARE WORTH IT!
My hope is that you’ve been given the right words to make the desired changes you want. Have you thought about in patient treatment? So you can string some time together not using? Just an idea. When I had trouble quitting heroin and methadone I would listen to music with headphones. It quieted down the noise of wanting to use. It may sound odd but this has been effective for many things like gambling and weight loss for me. Do you have a journal you write in? Sometimes writing down your struggles helps. I really feel for you. Wanting to quit and having a hard time quitting sucks. I believe if you talk about it enough you will make changes. Having a desire to quit is the beginning of change. Keep posting your struggles cause you are worth it.
It is a struggle. I think it helps to have a daily check in with others that are trying to stay clean whether a meeting or here with people that are clean or fighting to stay clean.
How are things going Bonny?
I'm sorry to hear that crack addiction is really hard to beat as they have no medications to treat it. Dialectical behavioral therapy can help and crack is something that at the moment you might feel like really addicted to but if you wait a couple days that feeling goes away a bit but I've only done it recreationally not as an addiction so I'm not quite like as experienced at that but I have done meth and I've been on ADHD drugs for a long time so I do understand the effects of stimulants. I mean I don't know if this is the best advice but I would talk to an ADHD doctor and try to get something like Vyvanse it really does hope to control the cravings for stimulants