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10996785 tn?1432812977

After the detox?

I'm new today here and I would like to share my story. I have 54 days sober and the question I have is, when if ever, will my head and brain settle down? I have a serious anxiety problem that is spiraling out of control to make things worse Here's my whole story:

After drinking 20+ beers a day and taking 8 mil Xanax's a day I sought out detox. Ativan was the only med they treated with. They started low and built them up to a crescendo then brought me back down. It was the hardest thing I've done in my long life. I was near death with the life I was leading. I'm done forever with both poisons. Yet my battle is still raging on.

I now take 19 pills a day. Neurontin2400 Mil per day, Trazodone, Antivert, Inderol, along with vitamins have saved me again. All non-narcotic. The two things that has helped the most are my family and friends along with a great determination. Yet nothing can help me as much as will-power and Doctors. I'm not close to be the person I once was. Thanks for listening and good luck to all.
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Avatar universal
Just wanted you to know your not alone in this. That's why I shared. This can be difficult at times. Many people have made it to the other side where the sun shines. That's where I will be , happy and healthy. I trust that all that we ate dealing with now will come to pass and we will be just fine. Trust the process of healing, everytime my mind or body reacts shaking or mental stuff,I tell myself that it is only a sign I am healing. Those neurotransmitters are trying to reconnect pathways. Sort of like birthing pains. We are being reborn but this time we do it ourselves and for me with the help of my higher power
Helpful - 0
3197167 tn?1348968606
Glad you made it to the current forum!!  Welcome and a HUGE congrats on
54 DAYS CLEAN & SOBER!!!!!

You didn't say how long you had been abusing alcohol and benzos but I surely am glad you have stopped that dangerous combo and are in recovery now!  
Our age and length of use, in addition to what we were using, has a great deal to do with how long it takes us to heal.  We do such a number on our brain cells, our physical bodies and starve our spirits when we are using.

The healing process can be longer with benzos....and I don't have any personal experience with them other than a 90 day trial so I can't speak to you personally about how long before your anxiety and head begin to normalize a bit.
Fresh air, sunshine, drinking LOTS of water and something with electrolytes all help.  As does staying away from stimulants like caffeine and energy drinks.  Getting some mild exercise like walking will accentuate the healing process as well.  The more times your blood moves thru your liver, the better for cleansing.
Keep posting, asking questions and let us know how you are doing, ok?
Welcome aboard the recovery train~
Helpful - 0
271792 tn?1334979657
Hi & Welcome to the community!

First I need to tell you that you are not alone. So many people suffer with anxiety. With some it is the reason they took narcotic medication in the first place and with others it is after the detox. I do not have personal experience with this so I can only share what I have heard from friends and the members here. I am not familiar with the medications you are taking but it certainly sounds like a whole bunch. I am wondering if maybe the combination of those is causing the anxiety? You may want to speak with your prescribing physician and share what you did here. Or it could be that you are still in the physical detox stage. Some it takes longer than others and for you that may be it as you were quite heavily and taking medications along with it. That is so very dangerous btw and you are lucky to be here.

All I can do is talk with you and support you any way I can. Please be patient as others members come on that can share their experience with you.Stick around honey...there is great support here!!!
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10996785 tn?1432812977
We meet again clean. Thanks again for the help. My drinking has been a life long problem with drinking to excess often a daily occurrence. I bought a 30 pack daily with just a few beers left over. Xanax was a 14 year struggle with the past year going crazy averaging as much as 8 pills per day.

Between my anxiety and the ongoing WD's I can't keep my balance or think straight. I wonder how long can this go on? At night it gets worse, my head gets so full and the head pressure makes me think I'm going to die. Anyone that's gone or going through this type of problem that can shed some light on this, their input and anyone's response would be greatly appreciated. Again anyone who just wants to talk. Thank you.
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3197167 tn?1348968606
Well as I read all the meds you are, I was thinking to myself, heck I'd be having a REALLY HARD time too.  Not only keeping your balance and not being able to think straight, but the "heavy" head stuff you describe, too.

First....your speak highly of your doctor...and you obviously trust him/her.

Second...I'm not a doctor....just an AVID researcher, ok?

Your daily mg of gabapentin (Neurontin) is high, imo.  But it is also an anti-seizure med so perhaps your dr was concerned about seizures getting off high amounts of alcohol and benzos which can cause seizures in some if not done medically correct.  A couple of side effects of gabapentin are dizziness, losing one' balance and vision changes. (I speak from experience...LOL)
The Inderal is a b/p med...but can also make one feel tired.  It is being used for PSTD and some other things these days, but it definitely has a sedative affect in some people.
The Antivert is an antihistamine and also used to treat nausea...but can make one tired too.
The Trazodone, while an antidepressant, is also used for promoting sleep...and as a non-addictive sleep aide....but it can also make you feel heavy in the head and tired the next morning...or at least it did my husband.

I'm not saying you should not be on any of these meds.....I'm just saying they ALL can make one tired and affect how your head feels.

Please don't take my word for any of this information; check it out yourself and talk to your dr, ok?  Our brains need to heal and the less chemicals we have toying with our neurotransmitters, the faster they can do that.

If you have had a life long problem with alcohol and many years of benzo abuse, have you sought out any form of aftercare yet?  While having the support of family, friends and our doctors is wonderful.....there is nothing quite like making friends with those who are traveling the very same road we are and understand us without having to explain.  

Wishing you the best~
Helpful - 0
10996785 tn?1432812977
I'll try and tie up some loose ends here. First thanks to IB as well. I have a brand new PCP who works with my Psychiatrist on my new meds. Most of the pills I take are for nerve and sleeping. Which I struggled in detox. Which BTW was terrible. No sleep, no eating or no drinking anything, water nothing. I was dehydrated really bad towards the end. My therapy includes frequent visits with both my PCP and Psychiatrist where I attend group and plenty of one on one. I have a great support team in place if I can recover from my current problems. Being on this site can really be of great help to me. I also hope I can be of some help to others on here.
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Avatar universal
Good job! Yes, things will begin to settle down for you. For me it was right about 90 days that I started to really feel stronger. After care is a must and keep posting. MH pulled me thru!
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Avatar universal
You've been to hel.l, my friend, and are slowly climbing back.   I was dependent on opiates, but I recently lost my best friend in the world (sister) to alcoholism.  She was also drinking heavily and taking benzo's every day.  She didn't make it---YOU WILL.  

She did do a "rapid-detox" rehab but the recovery just didn't happen fast enough for her.  She wanted to be better quickly, and her doctors kept telling her it would be a gradual return to normalcy....maybe 5-6 months.  

She went back to drinking and developed end-stage cirrhosis.  Then she died.    I miss her every day (it has been just one year last month.)  

it took a while for you to build up to that level of drinking/drugs.  It's a big blow to your body...so be gentle and patient with yourself.

I'm 32 days off 8 years of prescribed oxycodone, and I still do not feel well.  My heart rate is high (100 bpm) and I have this nagging opiate-withdrawal cough.  At night, my head also feels like it is filled with wet, brown, chopped paper (I don't know why it has to be brown...I picture grocery bags.)   Sleep doesn't come easily, if at all.  I have been taking trazodone as well for sleep, but it gives me weird and awful nightmares.  I'll need to discuss this on my next visit with my PCP.

Alcohol is a very toxic drug. And yes, I think it IS a drug.  Worst of all, it's legal.  Our bodies habituate to having a depressant in it 24/7...when we pull that away, it takes a lot of time for all of our different systems (respiratory, nervous system, GI tract, etc) to balance out again.

You are doing so well.  Just don't give up.  Are you going to AA?

God Bless...

-Robin
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10996785 tn?1432812977
Hey 86 and 127, It's almost funny that I've been told and taught the very same things you guys have said to me. Yet like most addicts we tend to have the lessens repeated to us over and over again. I do have an AA schedule set up I just haven't been well enough to drive or be somewhere for very long at one time. Yes that's an excuse I know! My doctors have told me to stay home and let others take care of me. That part hasn't be easy either, LOL.

Since I've been home from detox I've come down with a serious rash and a equally serious pneumonia. You know those little bumps in the road they talked about in group. Yea "little bumps my bleep" (insert smiley face here)

On another note. Trazodone, as clean mention, can screw you up in the head. I don't want to take it and I have cut back on it but I need it for sleep. I can imagine the bad dreams, I get them too. The movie "Silver Linings" mention all these pills in an unflattering way. Good luck with all these pills. Ironic that we don't want them yet we need them.

This site has already helped me in just one day. I showed my wife and she is very excited for me. It seems that most of you responders are female which is great by me. I'm a gabby person by nature so I really appreciate you all so I can get things off my chest with people that have experienced similar life problems. Till next time.
Helpful - 0
10996785 tn?1432812977
After two really bad nights I'm following them with an outright horrible day. My vision has started to get blurry again and my head feels like it's full of lead weights. I don't know what to do with my meds. My doctor tells me that I'm still going through WD's. I don't know?? Where do I turn. I'm losing my patience with the whole thing!
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Avatar universal
Hi I am also coming off a variety of prescription drugs. Valium oxycodone clonidine (BP MED) and methadone . They gave me the methadone cause I stopped taking MScontin they gave me the valiums and oxycodone before and also for withdrawals from methadone the clonidine was to help with methadone as well. I kicked the methadone only to find I was addicted to the valium and oxycodone. So far my no sleep record is 9 days in a row. Right now I am on my 5th day no sleep. It's painful plus trying to deal with post acute withdrawals.Stopped methadone 9/2/14. Stopped all other drugs 9/26/14. Talked with a drug counselor she said sleep will get better the second or third month. I was the walking dead under the influence of those drugs. Never again. I want my life back. I take trazadone which doesn't help much for sleep after a couple days. The most sleep I have gotten this last month was one night for 4hours last night and the 4nights before nothing . If I am lucky I might get 2hours I am 59 years old and have multiple sclerosis. Tonight I will take benedryl with the trazadone hope to get a few hours. Sleep deprivation makes dealing with he anxiety and depression from opiates very hard. Not o mention the hacking and leg cramps. But I have met several people who have recovered and are having good lives..so I will keep hanging on going to meetings talking to others recovering . It does help even though no sleep. To see others who have been threw the fire and surrived
Helpful - 0
10996785 tn?1432812977
I wish I could help you 1955. As you read we are both looking for answers. I do wish you well and I hope you find some peace within yourself! That's all were are really looking for. It's always good to give and receive.
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10996785 tn?1432812977
Sunday: not my worst day so far. Still along ways to go. Now that dark is coming down I've started to get a little heavy headed yet again. My neck muscles are spasm-ing  like crazy. Trying to maintain the best I can knowing my anxiety is causing most of my problems. Can't let it get the best of me.  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I take neurontin too (gabapentin).  And my daily dose is 750 mgs 4x a day. I cannot manage it...I get too spacey, heavy headed, and weirded out.  I take 1 a day. MAYBE 2.   And even then, it makes me feel weird.  I think it might be responsible for the way you are feeling.

I'm day 37 and I feel like crap.  I've been living in the bathroom today. All my body can BARELY handle is ramen noodles and tea.   You know what? This sux.    I need to go rest now, but I wanted you to know you are not alone.

This is what our bodies really feel like, i guess?  I don't know.  I can't figure out what is PAWS, or just bad health, or just me being a messed up person.

Sigh.  TTYL, my friend. Hang in there.

-Robin
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10996785 tn?1432812977
Thanks to all. You may be on to something there "Never". I'm in a real bind here. My anxiety was so over the top in detox they kept upping my Trazodone and Neurontin to the current doses. I have the same heavy head, vertigo and confusion at 61 days as I did at day 3 or 4. I feel I'm not getting any better and it's wearing me down. I really don't know if I can make it. I keep telling myself that it takes time. I just need some relief of these head symptoms.  Yea, I'm having another bad night. It's time for my fourth Neurontin and I don't know what to do. + the Trazodone looms at ten O:clock with Antivert.  
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Avatar universal
Neurontin is an anti-seizure drug.  DO NOT stop taking it suddenly or even taper down w/o the advice of a doctor.  How much Trazodone are you taking?  I was at 100 mgs a night, every night, and I went c/t off it.  MISTAKE.   Skull-cracking headaches for a week...never, ever go off a med unless a physician is tracking you.    

Again, I think you need to see a doctor for a re-evaluation of your meds.  Psychiatrist?
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10996785 tn?1432812977
Good advice. My detox center told me to come in as I was. They wanted me at the height of my addiction's, which they got. After stripping me of the Xanax they had to replace my anxiety meds with something. (My anxiety is off the charts. <The story of my young life is long and filled with death of many family members.) Well my introduction to Neurontin began in lower doses building up. Well sleep didn't come so in came the Trazodone and they built that up. I still couldn't sleep right so in came the Efexor. Still No sleep. No eating, sleeping or drinking of any fluids. My stomach couldn't take anything by mouth. I went through hell there. I lost 10 llb's in 10 days. I was asked, "who loses weight at a detox or rehab center"? There were only 2 detox centers in Western Pa that would take me partly because of my cross addictions with Xanax and the amount of daily alcohol use, plus my medical issues. BP mostly. They put me right next to the Nurses station with two beds. I was the only male not to have a roommate, coincidence? This place was not for intense rehab, it was more intense detox. Like everyone knows, this was payback time.  

Not until after I went home did I get 3 or 4 hours of any kind of sleep. then one morning I woke up unable to swallow, off to the ER I go. My entire body was covered in a rash. I looked scarey, people in the waiting room turned away in horror. After an IV of Benedryil and hours there, I was let go. I was pulled off the Efexor and Neurontin cold turkey. Now I was on Predizone at a very high dose. I really went nuts then. My skin crawled constantly for days as I started to lose my mind. I was in bad shape for sure. After a solid week I started to feel a pain in my chest. Anxiety right? No, I went back to the ER. After years of suffering with Anxiety I could tell the difference. Pneumonia had set into my lungs. More medication as I waited to get some relief. Another two weeks of pure confusion. All the while I went to my Pcp. I do have a Psychiatrist who happened to be on vacation to his home country. This was my first 3 or 4 weeks back home from detox. No fun at all.

Well as things settled down a bit, I was left with myself stripped bare of my mothers little helpers. Nothing for my anxiety, ouch. Only the Trazodone remained. I think 150 or 250 mil a night. A triangle pill. My Psychiatrist is the one who maintains my med schedule along with my Pcp. So my Phych's physician assistant puts me back on Neurontin twice a day, the Efexor turned out to be the problem. I now see my Psychiatrist two or three times a week, (he now has me on Neurontin 4 times a day). He holds relaxation and DBT Process meetings, plus a weekly one on one appointment. Now I'm waiting on an appointment for my neck. After another MRI I'm told it's completely shot. Going to some kind of doctors who specialize in treatment of the nerves and muscles of the neck.

Well I'm beat after all that. This would be part 2 of my story. Part 3 is tbd. Thanks for listening and God Bless to all.

PS: please excuse any typo's, the edit button is usually my friend.
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Avatar universal
Wow.   Everyone has their own horror story...I'm so sorry yours has been so awful.    Prednisone makes EVERYONE feel crazy.  It's the same drug that is used by bodybuilders (juicing) and it basically tampers down your immune system.   Not surprised you ended up with a chest infection.

Do you mind if I ask---how old are you?

Don't worry about typos...keep talking...
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10996785 tn?1432812977
My standard answer is,way too old for this! 59 years old. Everyday is the same old thing. I've talked to both of my main doctors and they both agreed (they talk to each other by phone a lot) that I should keep the same schedule of meds. Si here I am trapped in my own body. I know that a super amount of people have it a lot worse off than me but you know how one's mind works. It needs your attention NOW and I'm at it's mercy right NOW! I'll be in touch. Thanks
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Avatar universal
Hi   well im no doctor however I have detoxed off benzo's and it is a tuff grueling taper...with that said the atavan is a benzo if I where you I would tell my doctor to start the process  of detox  the longer you wait the worst it will be   im bipolar and benzo's are a way of life  today I no longer take them any way good luck to you remember you need to take your recovery in your own hands most doctors dont have a clue keep posting for support  put some aftercare in place it will help with the mind screw..N/a is free and if your honest with yourself it will work for you... I to am to old to detox ever again and if 4 meetings a week can stop that im all in........Gnarly
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10996785 tn?1432812977
Thanks gnarly. I did go to detox about 60 some days ago. Ativan is what they gave everyone. Opiates/Benzos,whatever. The turnover there was incredible, people were leaving everyday. My doctors are doing everything they can I believe. I see them a few times a week. I know many others before me had to deal with this giant problem. The time I spend on here plus the feedback is really helping me. I've been retired for over 2 years now, so I'm used to doing next to nothing. When drinking 24+ beers a day with 8mg of the Xanax on top of it, doing nothing wasn't a problem. Now I'm home, not driving yet, by myself trying my best to maintain. Sometimes it just feel like I'm fighting a losing battle. Still clean and sober though!!  
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