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Alcohol---------

Ok first off I would like to say that I don't think I am an alcoholic, because I dont really need to drink alcohol to get by everyday. I think personally that I have a problem with drinking because I love to drink and I love the way I feel when I drink. In all honesty I think I would drink almost everyday, depending on how I feel the next day (example: If I had a hangover and didn't feel well I would not drink) I made an agreement with my gf, who I have a child with.... That I would only drink once a week on the weekend. I sometimes go for 2-3 weeks on this schedule and then fall off and drink more than I said I would. I know I have a problem, but I don't think it's as big of a deal as some people make it out to be. I don't want to quit drinking at all. I love the buzz I get from it. I hardly ever overdrink and become "drunk". I drink a mickey of hard liquor almost everytime and become "buzzed" to where I feel good and then stop, eat and then go to sleep. blah blah blah I have agoraphobia and I take medication to help with anxiety..... Xanax for americans, Alprazolam for me (Canadian) basically I would like to get some feedback on what some alcoholics who have recovered think about my situation.... please be tottaly honest. just to let you know that I am not violent when I drink, I don't drink in front of my child, and I would never drink when looking after my child alone. I do drink to escape from panic attacks, I drink because I feel very happy when "buzzed" -- I dont feel good when I am very drunk - I drink to have fun, and I drink alone most of the time. ummm thats about it, I know I am not a crack addict in need of serious help, but I know that I would love for some people that have been in my shoes to maybe give me some cold hard truth.... or to let me know that as long as I follow my one week program maybe I will be ok? any advice is appreciated and I will not turn down any suggestions. thanks
Jordan Malyon
7 Responses
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Avatar universal
Smellycat - Interesting, it appears we are around the same age.  I have been sober over 2.5 years.  I'll tell you this- I was once told I wasn't an alcoholic because real alcoholics got DUI's etc.  That was from a government provided counselor.  I continued drinking for years (I had suspected I was the "A" word).  I then started studying what I refer to as alcohol dependence.  In medical terminology, the "alcoholic" does not exist.  Drug/alcohol abuse and dependence are on the plane that I exist on.  I was dependent on alcohol.  It got me through rough school days.  I never got a DUI, though driving drunk probably hundreds of times.  I had bad anxiety and enjoyed the buzz too.  The thing about dependence is that it is often progressive.  I am assuming you did not begin to use alcohol specifically because it was a cure for anxiety.  You probably used it socially.  Then, you discovered it satisfied another need.  I was told by the first psychiatrist I ever trusted, "Do you know why people self-medicate?  Because it works."

Before you jump the gun, she added: "But we will hopefully find healthier ways to deal with your issues."  

That is what drugs and alcohol were for me.  The amount I used and the amount of days between uses were not as relevant to me as WHY I was using it.  My mind jumped to the thought as soon as something bad was happening with family.  I just wanted to escape and drive so drunk that I could barely make it up the stairs to my apartment.  That's what it became.  I coasted for several years, even quitting drinking for months a few times, both willingly and even casually.  

The desire to abuse alcohol daily is not the requirement for alcohol dependence.  It can be once a week.  So be careful.  I got sober because I saw how bad my life had become.  I couldn't do it for anyone else but me.  I too took bezo's to deal with anxiety, actually started on them the first time I got sober.  Within a year I was eating them while drinking hard liquor straight.  Be careful.  I take much better medication now, called Buspar.  It is non-habit forming and the only drug that was invented specifically for anxiety.  Xanax or alprazolam, many will attest in the anxiety forums, are generally prescribed by people's GP doctors... they are rarely the ones who get the visits from those patients years later.  Years later, we end up in a psychiatrist's office, with someone who understands the dangers and the results of using those for anxiety.  They loose efficacy with time and cause a 'hole' when you don't take them.  My meds are built up over weeks so missing one or even both of my bi-daily doses isn't going to cause a panic attack.  

By the way, I have a girlfriend who was originally sober and has actually returned to drinking.  Generally, she cancels plans at the very last moment and I find out later she is sipping a beer or hammered calling me for no apparent reason.  It is extremely painful and the reason I am on this forum.  I've been to several recovery groups, including AL-ANON, which is for those who are dealing with an "alcoholic" or "substance abuser" in their life.  It was too late for a meeting, so I'll probably start a thread here.  You might recommend that she goes there or Celebrate Recovery (if she is interested in a Christian faith-based recovery).  I have been to CR on numerous occasions.  CR and AL-ANON teach us that we can only control ourselves.  The rest is up to someone else.  I hope you can come to an agreement.

Best wishes,
Brett
Helpful - 0
1110022 tn?1258389904
do you really feel so much better?

I seem to be miserable when i go out with my friends and need to be sober
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
ive been a alcoholic for the past 20 odd years im 38 now i used to be a binge drinker and  ive been sober for the past 5 months its the best feeling in the world so please get help now before its too late especially if you have a young family my son went through hell with my drinking dont make the same mistake i did
Helpful - 0
177036 tn?1192286635
I drank and loved it for many years before I crossed that line of addiction.  I can have a few drinks today and go a few days then have a few more, but 3 to 6 months later alcohol will always bite me in the wazoo.  If I had know then what I know now, I would have set strong limits to my drinking so that I could, "enjoy," it today.  I have had and alcohoic episode 43 days ago along with formal detox so I can describe a feeling pretty vividly~~~~~ The fist time a take a drink after some abstinence, I begin to shake nervously like I am very allergic to it and of course it goes away after subsequent drinks.  Alcohol becomes like speed to me and when others want to go to bed, I'm flying to Vegas.

My suggestion is to try and set realistic limits for the rest of your life... otherwise you will become like some of us without legs... we never grow new ones and cannot drink again without serious consequence.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
i can make anybody pretty
I can make you believe any lie
I can make you pick a fight
With somebody twice your size

I been known to cause a few break ups
I been known to cause a few births
I can make you new friends
Or get you fired from Work

[1st Chorus]
And since the day I left Milwaukee
Lynchburg and Bordeaux France
Been making the bars lots of big money
And helping white people dance
I got you in trouble in high school
But college, now that was a ball
You had some of the best times
You'll never remember with me
Alcohol
Alcohol

I got blamed at your wedding reception
For your best man's embarrassing speech
And also for those
Naked pictures of you at the beach

I've influenced kings and world leaders
I helped Hemmingway write like he did
And I'll bet you a drink or two that I can make you
Put that lampshade on your head

[2nd Chorus]
'Cause since the day I left Milwaukee
Lynchburg and Bordeaux France
Been making a fool out of folks just like you
And helping white people dance
I'm medicine and I am poison
I can help you up or make you fall
You had some of the best times
You'll never remember with me
Alcohol
Alcohol
**** this is one my fav songs by a great singer
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I jordan,I'm not a saint,by no means,so for me to say that I think you have a
alcohol addiction,would be sad,if you knew my past.I only drank hard liquor
and a heck of a lot,like a pint of Vodca almost every day to even me out from
the Coke I used to do for about a good ten year period.For me,I couldn't just
drink to get Buzzed like yourself,I had to get Smashed,but the Coke issue is
in itself,a whole nother ballgame.The weird part about me was,that if I wasn't
doing blow,I wasn't drinking,so my 2 addictions went hand in hand.It doesn't seem like your as far gone as I once was,but you seem like you are able to
control yourself,which is great.That was something I couln't really do right or at
all.The funny thing was,that I was in denile about my thinking I was an alcoholic,just because I always drank after work,and never needed a shot,just
to start my day off.I made up for it at night,so much in fact,that I was missing
days of work because I was so hung over.If that is or has ever happened to yourself,or anyone in fact,then I'd have to say they might just be an alcoholic.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
hi, I have never had an alcohol problem, but I've had a huge pill problem and would consider myself an addict, andI just wanted to give you my opinion.  My boyfriend seems to be in your same shoes.  He mainly drinks alone but never gets supper drunk.  I think that anytime that you drink alone is a problem, but then when you say you don't drink everyday, I don't think you have a big problem.  I think as long as you stick to the 1 time a week thing you should be fine.  But you really have to try to stick to it to prove to your girlfriend that you dont have a problem.  I would def think that an alcoholic would drink while watching their children and taking care of them, and in your case you do not do that.  You sound more of a social drinker, but it is apparent you think you have some sort of problem or else i don't think you would have messaged here.  I just think you should try to stick it the once a week drink and see how it works for you :)
Helpful - 0
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