Almost ready??

[Zakk169]

Hey Frynds, I am back since yesterday. For those of you who don't know me yet, I started posting 2 days ago and I am almost ready to board the detox train. I am precsribed 40 mg oxycodone 3 times a day. I have been throwing in a 4th on most days! Well, you know where that leads me to.....running out a week or so early! Ouch!

Anyhow, I am in a delema. I know I want to quit but I am a disabled veteran and I am at 50% right now and if I don't keep getting my oxy refill I will get dropped, maybe to 0%. I am scared needless to say.

I am tired of runnig out and feeling crappy for the most part....As you all know, you feel good about 2-3 hours after your dose but then you start feeling like you need more...

Long story short....If I start my detox now, I will have to get my next refill and then the temptation will be right smack in front of me!!!!!

Any suggestions?

Zakk

[swtbreezie]

Hon that did happen to my hubby before he passed away.  Go get it or have someone pick it up and flush it.  And you need your disability and I KNOW for a fact they will drop you.  NOW, I can't even get help as his widow.  I lost him, my daughter and my home.  I couldnt find help anywhere just as I don't look like I belong in the probation stuff I guess I don't look much in need but after all that I sure am. I had 14,000 dollars in funeral bills in less than 2 months they didnt help with that either 250 is a far cry from the minimum 7000.00 funeral.  I still havent gotten his marker for Christ's sake.  I called them about a month ago they said it takes a while you filed in Jan I sain NO I filed 2 and a half years ago when he died.  
AHHHHHHHH WHY ME LORD shaking head.

Breezie

[worried878]

Zac.....whatever you do...do not lose site of your plan...if you taper..which can work wll...do like bmc says and get someone to dole them out daily to you....i had to...i was a cheater at tapering...most addicts are....get you a schedule and stick to it....take small doses throughout the day...no big doses...you will begin to feel wd before you ct...I had to do a quick taper to wait for some time off work   I was really excited when the day came for no more! pills   I also had too many to taper with so flushed some..i did not want to prolong my taper as I was afraid i would change my mind....everyone is different

[whathefu_k]

That is a lot of OC, and for a long time, to just go CT on. I would suggest going ahead and getting it and following a strict taper down schedule- with someone else administering them to you- and not giving in to your demands for more.
Even with that, you're going to have to CT sometime. Hang in there man

[Britney83]

thanks to all....i'll post...but much more cautiously

[worried878]

Brit ..the same thing happens to me on here..It is hard to communicate  thru typingI knew what he meant tho as my friend is on workmans comp and if he didnt get his meds...would drop him from the program....zack,,,I can tell each day that u r more determined...you have been getting mentally ready and getting prepared....a heallthy sign

[confused456]

It does not offend EVERYONE....I find it very refreshing!!!! Do NOT stop posting!! Please!

[bmc1976]

Hey, don't stop giving advice! It can be so hard to come off with your true meaning when typing. People can't hear the tone of voices when typing. I always look at posts and if it sounds negative, I read it again so I see the other side of it. So many people can take things the wrong way. It is so hard to express our true feelings and thoughts on a key board. People need to remember to be very open minded on these forums. Things are taken the wrong way all the time. If that happens all we can do is explain ourselves the best we can. I know I have read posts and not thought anything of it and then someone else will yell at the person about it. I'm always like, what did they say! It all depends on how someone takes it. So, just keep giving advice! That is what makes this forum work so well!

[Britney83]

not mad at all buddy....its just i feel like i have to be on pins and needles and careful not to offend bob, mary, jane, or bill. anyway i think i'm done giving advice as it only offends everyone anyhow.  however i would like to wish you the best of luck and hope that you truly do find that light at the end of the tunnel.  i know that you are miserable, and detox is hard....try to take what people say with a grain of salt...a lot of them have been through it and you would be surprised to know that they have suffered A LOT in life as well...so good luck to you....keep posting....all the best...brit

[Zakk169]

I have got to go back to class. I really want to talk to all of you later today...ok?

See you good people later....you too britney83!!!!!!!!!!!!


Zakk

[dove3053]

That's my drug of choice too. I was doing about the same amount as you for about 2 years. About 2 weeks ago I ran out and stopped. I found it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I was able to work-not well but I showed up. Has anyone directed you to PAWS. I don't know how, but that will help.

God Bless,

Dove

[mimi1313]

I would at least try to talk to a VA administrator. It may come down to just flushing them every month. This is not an easy situation. I hope you've gotten some ideas on what you are going to do. Let us know what you decide.

Best of lukc!
Melissa

[CGR76]

Good luck to u man.
But from what I have read, you are probubly still in some pain. Maybe you can try a plan to taper you down to your priscribed dose, and then figure out how to make just that amount work for you and your pain needs. A pain managment specialist would be abel to put you an a good plan...

CGR....

[Zakk169]

Hey, I am just miserable at this point. I never tried to detox before. No disrepect intended.

I know you are just being there....Can you tell I am still addicted???Ha Ha!

Please don't be mad. I am really a very nice guy!!! I promise!

Zakk

[bmc1976]

I was just saying if you think you'll lose your compensation but not taking pain meds, have the doc switch you to non narcotic. It would show that you are still in pain so they couldn't drop your comp. I don't think they can or will drop it anyways. I am on 20% for a bum knee and have never taken anything for that. I'm pretty sure once you get rated, it won't drop. Talk to a VA rep. They can help you with that. Even if you are prescribed prescription strength motrin, it shows you are still in pain. Whether you take them or not. If you go that route how could they drop your rate? Understand what I mean?

[Britney83]

God people are so sensitive lately....zakk...i WAS offering you support, i'm not saying you won't be able to....but from what you wrote, it sounded like you are in fact having a hard time doing it on your own.....am i wrong?  have you been successful? that is why i thought it might help if you tried another method....we live in such an easily offensive world...i can't say anything becuase people automatically take it the wrong way and try to find some loop whole that "actually this or actually that.." i am just offering an opinion...not writing to hear why it is or isn't right..if it's not right for you..than i truly hope you find one that is...and if you can do it on your own...than more power to you...i truly hope that you can...all the best...brit...

[bigd234]

Flushing them..aghh..it is the best way i guess but yea, what a waste..maybe thats the addict in me speaking..i don't even want to picture that lol.. well if your gonna loose the money you need, you really need to have someone else get the prescription for you and store it or throw it out, whatever you need to so you don't get ahold of them. Though, if you are in pain, im not sure what you should do about that...i feel for you my man..

[Chi_Chi_Lover]

BMC1976 has a very good point you need to talk with a VA administrator I wouldn't think they could just drop you to 0% for not being on the pain meds but what do I know?
I also think Britney just means you have to make your own mind up to give up the pain meds. There are always going to be temptations in front of you. Yes, you will have to get stronger before you can pick up 90 pills and flush them but there will always be pain meds around from time to time. You have to make the choice to pass the temptation  it takes time to get strong enough to do that.
I took the pills for 5 years too you can do it and you can do it on your own. I did it almost a year ago cold turkey.  This forum can be a great help. Good luck

[Zakk169]

Hey britney83, I am sorry...I re read your post....I know I have you guys..I will do this ON MY OWN!

Don't mean to sound nasty, but I need support, not it sounds like I won't do it on my own...

Zakk

[Zakk169]

Ok, I've tried alot of other non narcs and nothing helps me....for the one who asked about my %, I am 50% service connected disabled and I get a monthly compansation. I don't want that to lower or go away. I broke my back in an airborne jump (US Army). So that's what I was talking about.

As far as the other person that said it sounds like I won't do it on my own...or I am very tempted.....Were or are you an addict? Damn right I am tempted.5 years of taking this drug....temptation consumes me...but I thought this forum was for people who are ready to quit to have support, not tell you your never going to do it on your own!

I am going to do it. with or without temptation!!!

Zakk

[confused456]

I know it sounds like a waste, but in the end, you will truly be happier! I hope it all goes well for you!

[bmc1976]

Just go to your VA doc and tell them you want to try something that is non narcotic. There are many other meds out there that are non opioid and non addicting. Heck, they could even prescribe you prescription strength ibuprofen. If you do this is shows you are still experiencing pain so they shouldn't drop your disability. Really the only way they can drop your comp rating is if they send you through another in depth physical. Who told you they would drop your rate anyway? I don't think they can drop it just from quitting your pain meds. I would go talk to your local VA administrator. Not the one at the clinic but the one that represents everything. He should be able to give you more insight on this.

[Britney83]

i don't quite understand? Get dropped from what? insurance? 50% to 0%? sorry just don't understand what your referring to.  Sounds like you are easily tempted and will always find an excuse to take more.  So maybe you need to taper? Do you have someone that you can or have confided in that knows about your problem? Can they disperse the pills to you? I know that cutting back 10% every 7 days is how they detox infants born addicted to opiates and it is a very gentle detox.  Maybe try that...but one thing sounds pretty certain, judging from reading all of your posts, it doesnt sound like it's going to happen on your own, granted you have an entire forum here for you, I don't think that is going to be enough.  keep posting.....all the best
  Britney

[Zakk169]

Hey, you know, that's not a bad idea.....Thanks

What a shame, huh? (90)-40mg oxycodone down the drain?

Zakk

[confused456]

Is there anyone you can trust to pick it up and flush it for you, that way, you do not get dropped?